Hey, It’s Free!

EDIT: This is now dead.

I know this looks like it’s for “businesses” only, but a free 1 gig usb drive is too good to pass up. Plus, I already get credit card offers in the mail addressed to “Ryan Hey It’s Free” asking if I want a platinum business account, so why shouldn’t I be able to say HIF is a business and get a few perks? And yes, I actually get mail addressed to me with my first name and then my last name as “Hey It’s Free.” I really would like to meet the person who saw that name floating around out there and thought it looked legit enough to send a credit card offer to. He needs to be reassigned to the Moron Department, where employees are kept in a padded room and only allowed paper with round edges and dull pencils.

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: Orlando, usb drive, thumb drive, hotels

EDIT: Already dead now

I’m pretty sure in a past life, I was a pirate. I love all things pirates, from dressing up like them to talking like them to even getting piss drunk off rum just like they used to. But I’m pretty sure I wasn’t a very good pirate, especially when it came to finding treasure. Case in point, back in my high school physics class, my teacher tried to liven up the class by letting us go on a treasure hunt around the school. She divided us into groups and I got the pleasure of being my team’s captain. We were then handed “a map” and were supposed to be using vectors or degrees or something, but all I remember doing is walking around screaming “ARRRG! Where’s me booty?!” and playing with my pirate Legos I brought from home. Halfway through the hunt, the rest of my team mutinied against me, overthrew me as their leader, and promptly led us to last place. Ha, and they thought they could lead better than me! But no worries, I’ll just get this free pirate dog koozie (let them know in the comments you want the koozie, unless you actually want the stickers instead) and start drinking away those old memories! ARRRRRG!

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: pirates, beer koozies, freebies, legos, treasure

For Father’s Day this year, my father-in-law got a gift that COULD SAVE HIS LIFE, as the package advertised it. It was one of those multi-tools in the shape of a key with the glass breaker, screwdrivers, and everything you never think you ever really need all too compacted to be really functional in some plastic package that was seen on TV. So all in all, if you don’t have a TV the question of how it COULD SAVE HIS LIFE would be lost. Because how it COULD SAVE HIS LIFE wouldn’t be known because he wouldn’t have a TV to see how it COULD SAVE HIS LIFE so then he wouldn’t be able to SAVE HIS LIFE.

Lucky for us, if you don’t have a TV but have internet and click on this link from Hennen Publishing and take their survey, you can get your very own free multitool. Maybe it COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE too?

EDIT: You have to now e-mail them for the survey, so if you’re still up for it, go for it…

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: could save your life, multitool, free, survey

EDIT: Already dead now

These free Ziplock Zip N’ Steam bags from Wal Mart will probably die out in the time it takes me to type this post, but oh well. I’m just hoping they actually come, not because I want to cook something with them, but because I want to stick some of my sister’s Barbie dolls in them and watch them melt in the microwave. I mean, of course I myself wouldn’t do something like that, because I’m supposed to be a “mature adult” or “responsible” or something. But if my little brother were to wake up and find these bags and a pile of Barbies on his bed with a typed note that said, “Hey, Clay, go melt these when I’m in the kitchen getting my coffee so that I can watch with you,” then I don’t know if I’d have the authority to stop him.

[via Froggie]

Technorati Tags: Wal Mart, Ziplock, free bags, freebies, Barbies

I’m not sure what makes this free Native American tea all that different from regular tea, but I’m hoping it has something to do with a cool name. Like when you drink this tea, people have to start calling you Soaring Eagle or Fire Dragon or Flopping Frog. In fact, I’m just gonna go ahead and make my family start calling me Galloping Goob for a few days.

[via Froggie]

Technorati Tags: native americans, free tea

I have no idea what’s in this free daily survival kit, but if it were up to me, it’d include a pound of coffee, a box of granola bars, a baseball to toss around as you mull over topics to write about, and a laptop with wifi internet. At least, that’s all I ever use during most days. Sadly, I doubt any of that will be in this kit.

[via Froggie]

Technorati Tags: survival kit, coffee, laptops, freebies, baseball

Having finally finished the latest Harry Potter book (don’t worry, no spoilers will be leaked here), I can get back to my life. I had shunned the Internet, radio, TV, and basically all outside communication with the world in an effort to make sure I wasn’t spoiled to the ending. And now I’m feeling a little lethargic, as I haven’t left my house in about a week now. So I’ve just signed up for these free runners socks and maybe once I get them in a few weeks, I’ll finally venture outside and, you know, take part in this “exercise” stuff I keep hearing about.

[via Froggie]

Technorati Tags: free clothes, socks, running, runners, freebies

EDIT: Doh! This is dead now.

I just signed up my little sister for this free L’Oreal Vive Pro Nutri Gloss shampoo simply because the bottle is pink. She’ll take anything as long as it’s pink. I think I could probably dip an empty tube of toothpaste into some pink paint, let it dry, and then present it to her as a gift and she’d be ecstatic. I think it has something to do with how many times I dropped her on her head when she was a baby, but let’s just keep that between us, okay?

[via Froggie]

Technorati Tags: wal mart, freebies, free shampoo

I hope this free hat has “Stick Welding” stitched across the front of it, because that sounds like one of those phrases that should be dirty, but isn’t. Like shuttlecock. Or maybe I could get “Solid Wire” on it. That sounds manly and cool, especially when said in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice.

[via Froggie]

Technorati Tags: free hat, freebies

Look, we all know I’m not very good of making jokes about feminine products. So thankfully for me, the pictures on the Wal Mart page for these free Playtex sports tampons did the job for me. Seriously, those have to be the worst pictures ever. The first one looks like a giant plastic whiffle bat, the next one looks like a white flower, and the final one looks like two fluffy pillows with a tail. Good thing I can read, otherwise I’d sign up thinking I was about to get a magic baseball bat that sprouted flowers and cushions when I swung it.

Actually, that sounds like a great freebie. If somebody could get on it and invent one of those, that’d be great. Thanks.

[via Froggie]

Technorati Tags: wal mart, playtex, free tampons, baseball

3M continue to secretly offer these free Post-It Notes and Flags. Every few weeks, they seem to change the web address, yet I’m onto them! You can’t fool me! In fact, that’s the buzz around town says about me; that I’m unfoolable. And yes, unfoolable is a word, for the buzz also says I make up new and awesome words all the time. As you can see, my town is full of buzz. It can be hard to get to sleep at night with all that buzzing going on around you. Where was I again? Oh yeah, freebies.

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: 3m, post-it notes, freebies

EDIT: Dead now

Wal Mart is giving away yet another good freebie, but this time they’ve decided to do it threefold. You can sign up for some free Tide, Bounce, & Downy and then, like I plan on doing, use them all at once to see if you can make your clothes super clean. I figure if one sample will get my clothes clean, then maybe if I use all three at the same time my clothes will develop like a dirt shield and suddenly become immune to getting dirty. Go ahead, laugh at me all you want, but you’ll be singing a different tune when I never have to do laundry again!

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: Wal Mart, freebies, free detergent

EDIT: No longer available folks!

If you don’t mind getting some stupid brochure about a drug you most likely don’t need, you can sign up for your choice of a free backpack, lunch bag, or combo ruler & calculator. Pharmaceutical companies tend to give out quality freebies though, so I signed up for the free lunch bag. I still have a Viagra pen that was given out by a drug rep at my high school year ago and it’s pretty darn nifty. And yes, you read that right. A drug rep. At my high school. Trying to sell Viagra. Go public educashion! They teacheded me good!

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: Singular, viagra, pharmaceuticals, freebies, free stuff

EDIT: This is now dead!

I’ve always been against feeding my pets food that looks fancier than what I eat, which I think this free Sheba cat food falls into. I mean, what’s up with these commercials of cats eating food off silver platters and having butlers serve their food to them. I’m lucky if I can find a TV dinner in the back of the freezer that won’t explode in my microwave. Then I get to sit down and enjoy the delicious rubbery texture and the mouth watering flavor of cardboard. Yummy! The last thing I need is to be eyeing Fluffy’s dinner and plotting how I’m going to steal it from her.

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: cat food, free cat food, freebies

Here in Florida, to say it’s hot would be an understatement. Burning the heck up is more like it. And with smoothie and ice cream shops around every corner, they make a killing in the summer months. But it’s a royal pain to live here and be on a diet.

That’s why I’m glad I ran across this free junior cup or cone at TCBY coupon. It expires at the end of August, but believe me, this thing will be golden.

Oh, and use it today, because the last time a company had a freebee coupon like this online, it was Starbucks for a Mocha Iced, and after they realized how much all of us love free? The coupon died, and fast.

So drive, my freebee friends! Drive!

EDIT BY GOOB: I converted this .pdf file to a .png image and uploaded the coupon here to HIF. So if Glamour tries to take it down, you can still download the TCBY coupon right here

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: free, tcby, coupon

I usually try to stay away from freebies where you have to send in an e-mail to get this, but this free finger flashlight looks pretty darn cool. In order to get it, all you have to do is e-mail freesamples@invents.net and put SP005 in the subject line. Of course, don’t forget to send them your address in the e-mail as well, because they’re not mind readers! Unless…wait….you don’t think they can read our minds, do you?

Okay Goob, clear your mind here. Don’t let them see what you’re thinking about. No, stop thinking about that supermodel and those handcuffs. Come on, you’re stronger than this!

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: flashlight, freebies, free stuff

If you’re a high-school aged individual with no desire whatsoever to join the military, then you might not want to sign up for this free Marines T-Shirt. I remember signing up for something similar back when I was a junior in high school and let’s just say that I soon got on a first name basis with the local Marine recruiter. He used to call all the time, it was like I had a new friend! Then one afternoon, I was playing Final Fantasy 8 and defeated a monster that had been giving me so much trouble recently. I was in such a gay mood after that huge victory, that I couldn’t help but tell everybody how gay I was right then! That evening was the last time I ever talked to him, for he mysteriously stopped calling after that…I’ve never figured out why…

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: free t-shirt, marines, military

When you’re a broke college student, anytime you can go to the movies for free is good.

So here’s a free download of Michael Moore’s “Sicko.” It was leaked online, and because Moore feels so strongly about everyone seeing this movie, he’s not prosecuting anyone who downloads it.

And when you’re on that website, it has links to the free viewers that you can download too to watch it, so it’s like a two-fer on this sucker.

Now you’ll excuse me, I need to make me some popcorn…

[via the forums and my father-in-law]

Technorati Tags: free, michael moore, sicko, movie

When you’re in college, there are two things that are great: free money and free shirts. Free money usually isn’t free, though. It involves some of the cross dressing activities that Goob mentioned yesterday with Shania, or maybe actually visiting your parents every so often and mowing the lawn. I call that work. Both the cross dressing and mowing the lawn.

And as to the free shirts, I can’t help you there.

But today, my freebee loving friends, we can rejoice and buy 150 packs of ramen with this free $15 prepaid MasterCard from Obopay.com. Yes, free money. Another PayPal-esque service, with their latest financing bid and extra money in their pockets, they’re giving out free money. And you know what, 150 packs of ramen go a long way. That’s 50 square days of square noodle meals.

And maybe, just maybe, I’ll find myself a free XXL shirt when I’m done…

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: free, money, obopay, ramen, shirts, crossdressing

I probably won’t order this free Shania Twilight perfume. Mainly because I’m a guy and have little use for perfume. I mean, of course all us guys will spray on a little when we crossdress once in a blue moon, but that’s it. Wait, did I just say that out loud? Oh crap…

[via the Froggie]

Technorati Tags: free perfume, shania twain, country music