Hey, It’s Free!

I missed the free Dunkin Donuts coffee and free McDonald’s chicken sandwich offers that were given away yesterday (stupid me!), so I wanted to post this free Walmart ice cream sundae a few days early. This Sunday, May 18, Walmart will give away free ice cream sundaes at each of their 2,532 Walmart Supercenters. Woooo!

To find your nearest Supercenter, use this link and don’t forget to enjoy your free ice cream sundae this weekend!

[via Cara]

I always loved those paper towel commercials where they’d do a “test” to see how strong such and such towels were. First it was how much water they could absorb, then how tough they were, and then we somehow got to the bowling ball commercials.

I haven’t the slightest clue if these free Viva paper towels have any similar commercials, but I’m still going to try it nonetheless. When these babies come in the mail, I’m going to stack up all the individual sheets in my back yard, jump off my deck, and hope that they act as a trampoline / springboard. Then I’m probably going to call 911 and request an ambulance.

[via the forums]

Growing up I remember Koala Yummys. Remember those? Cracker/cookies with the chocolate filling? And then came along Teddy Grahams and instead of having a bear that would bleed chocolate when you bit its head off, you just had a shaped graham cracker. But it was a bear! And you could bit its head off without it being messy. Talk about innovations!

So when I saw this free sample of Teddy Grahams, I couldn’t pass it up. I mean come on: bears and cookies! In one box! That’s better than sliced bread!

[via the forums]

I feel old even contemplating signing up for this free Berry Metamucil. If I sign up for this, I’m only a year or two away from screaming at the neighborhood kids to get off my lawn. Wait, on second thought, I do that already. Oh screw it, I like anything berry flavored. Metamucil, here I come!

[via Kimmy]

EDIT: Of course, this is dead now…

It’s been a while since I’ve posted something for Fido, so feel free to sign up for these free Pet-Aloe Crumbles. This can actually be attributed to having caused me to waste the better portion of my morning. When I saw it, I immediately thought of the old Stephen Colbert skit where he talks about Crumbelievable non-stop. Then I started going through the video archives on Comedy Central and….well, let’s just say I’ve yet to shower today.

[via the forums]

Wow, I actually remembered my log-in! How about that? Okay, its not that I forgot… I was just out of town for my anniversary, had Goob take over on my blog for a day, and just started a new semester of classes… Well, that last one is today, but the other two were for the weeks prior, so I feel its only fair that I give a freebee that keeps on giving…

From May 10th through June 12th, if you’re at the mall and find yourself by an Aunt Annie’s Pretzel, text the word “pretzel” to the number 70734. You’ll then get a coupon good for a free Aunt Annie’s Pretzel. And you can do this one time a day! Seriously! So why not just head daily for a pretzel, you know? Instead of a coffee break, have a pretzel break. If you work at the mall, don’t meet your co-workers at the water cooler, meet them at the pretzel stand–which is an autonomous unit for mid-mall snacking, mind you.

Offer only valid at participating locations (which will have signs reminding people of the codes and numbers), standard text messaging rates apply

[via the forums]

EDIT: Looks like this is dead now

This free Dove Go Fresh deodorant is supposed to be for Costco members, but seeing as how they’ll accept your information without a Costco member ID, maybe us simpletons will get a sample too. Actually, I’m a member at Costco, but I lost my card a while back and couldn’t be bothered to find it. There’s apathetic people, then pure lazy folks, and then me at the top of the pyramid ruling them all. No, that doesn’t sound right. There’s no way I’d climb to the top of a pyramid. Let’s say it’s an engineering marvel, upside-down pyramid. It was built by a ancient empire off all-Goob’s who surpassed the skills of even the Egyptians.

Only problem is they were too lazy to write down anything about themselves, and thus are forgotten. What a tragedy.

[via Leslie]

It looks like giving away free music is what all the cool bands are doing now. And to that, I say, heck yeah! This free Nine Inch Nails album is the latest offer I’ve found. Just supply them with a valid e-mail address and they’ll e-mail you a direct link to download 43+ minutes of 100% free and legal music. Emphasis being on the word “legal” back there. I’ve “sampled” my fair share of music before, but those bloody RIAA folks scared me straight a while back.

Man, these little packets that you add to water must be all the rage now. It feels like this free Protein 2-Go is the millionth variety I’ve posted lately. You actually have to download and print this coupon out, but that’s not too shabby. How does this freebie actually taste? Beats me, but if the tap-water where you live tastes like it’s coming straight out of a swimming pool (HEY, WATER COMPANY! LAY BACK ON THE CHLORINE!) then this can only be an improvement over the status quo.

Every DHL freebie I’ve posted in the past has come as promised, though it usually takes a while to arrive. Ironic, huh? Hopefully this free DHL road atlas comes in time for people to take a roadtrip or two this summer. Actually, thanks to the high prices of gas, I doubt many of us are going on any long distance trips this year. I’ll just have to make a vacation out of walking to the mailbox and getting my freebies every day!

Why does this free Colgate MaxFresh toothpaste have a redundant name? Isn’t all toothpaste supposed to raise the freshness of your mouth to maximum level? Have I been using average freshening toothpaste all these years? Or…*gulp*…low freshening toothpaste? What kind of monster would run a company that churns out toothpaste with a low freshening level? That’s it, I demand multiple Congressional hearings into this national travesty!

[via Moose]

EDIT: This is dead now!

Uh-oh. Two Walmart freebies back to back so far. Come on, freebie Gods, don’t let me down. Similar to the free True Lemon samples we posted a while back, this is actually three freebies in one: a free Country Time lemonade pack, a free Kool-Aid Tropical Punch single, and a free Crystal Light Cherry pack.

You add them to your water in order to give the flavor a little kick, but I’m gonna let y’all in on a little secret. There’s an even better way to flavor your water. Did you know that there’s water in beer? Thus, every time you drink a beer, you’re drinking water. Now all those “doctors” out there might say that this “doesn’t count,” but who are you going to listen to? A licensed and trained health professional or a guy who once diagnosed himself as having Lyme disease after reading about it on WebMd?

I rest my case.

EDIT: Apparently our collective positive thinking power is much weaker than we’d expected. In other words, this freebie’s dead now.

Walmart is giving away some free Ban deodorant and I promise that this one won’t die mere minutes after I post it. Im all about the power of positive thinking today and right now I’m chanting over and over that Walmart shouldn’t kill this freebie. Come on, everybody say it together with me and maybe we can make this happen!

Now let’s see how long this actually lasts.