Freebies and free stuff

The movement to green bags is starting to almost seem ridiculous, folks. So many stores have their own proprietary tote bags for groceries that they’re trying to sell us, and all the while? We can get them online from offers like this free Delallo Go Green tote bag, which we get once we register for an account and confirm it on their site.

Though, it begs the question: why are they called green bags when the picture so clearly shows a black bag? Maybe they need to change the color saturation on their monitors or something…

[via the forums]

Every morning, I sit down at my desk at work and have a bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper, then I start in on my massive mountain of teas that I keep in the corner of my cubicle. Sadly, unlike Goob, I can’t have a jumbo drum of coffee because there’s no counter space in my apartment for our maker.

That’s why this free caramel mocha coupon from Bob Evans (PDF file) makes me smile. Its a free coffee, and its a free coffee. Oh wait, I already said that…

Caffeine makes me happy.

[via the forums]

Awesome Hiffer Jan recently tipped me off that Redbox, in addition to giving away free rental codes on Monday, is now issuing codes during the next four Wednesdays! At this rate, by August they’ll be giving away free codes every day. Then again, that’d probably put them out of business by October. I guess I can sacrifice watching a free movie every night of the week if that means they get to stay in business, but that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it!

Today’s code is 75EA16 and for those of you who don’t know if you have a rental box near you, check out this page.

I was lucky as a kid that I never had to have my tonsils out. I wanted to miss those weeks of school and just be able to have yogurt and ice cream and milkshakes. Sure, I had tubes put in my ears, but that’s different, and no matter what they say, the shots feel nothing like mosquito bites.

Though kids are lucky if they’re under 18 and just had or are going to have a tonsillectomy. See, Dreyer’s has a free mail in coupon for a tonsillectomy kit. Yes, its a mail-in form, but its because they need the doctor’s signature on it, just to make sure you’re legit. But the coupon for the free box of fruit bars, coloring book, crayons, and keychain/wristband in the pack make it well worth it to the sick little one. I mean, its mail for them, and they’re sick, what could be better?

Their tonsils back so they could do it again next year, maybe?

[via the forums]

Somebody please tell me what in the world a “jamba” is. Why should I be drinking its juice or using this free $1 Jamba Juice oatmeal coupon (which doesn’t expire until the end of March!) to eat its oatmeal? I tried Googling to see if there was a fruit named Jamba, but no luck there. Jamba Juice’s own website isn’t much help either. The only thing I noticed was their logo looks like a tornado. Is that were they’re getting all this juice from? That can’t be too sanitary…

[via Sarah & Sara - thanks!]

Bridal Magazines are hazardous to everyone.

1) The environment – Those are thick suckers, you know how many trees you kill for one of them? And four or five of them is like a redwood!
2) The bride/bridesmaid’s back – They’re so thick and heavy that the girl who’s carrying them around? Is certainly going to feel it. And noone wants to marry someone who has bad posture, especially if its from carrying these around.
3) Men – Its dangerous to our wallets for women to see all of these future ideas that their money will go to. Because in 5 years from now, the fact that your bride had calla lilies and irises in your bouquet will mean nothing (unless you’re an intelligent sap like me and remember things like that for times you’re in the doghouse).
4) The purse – Dangerous to women’s pocketbooks too, seeing how much they have to spend for just one of them, much less the two redwoods worth of them that they’ll need for all of the info they never cared about till that rock was on their finger.

I guess its a good thing that you can get this free Bridal Guide magazine issue, then. One less thing to worry about buying and another Big Mac you can eat–or shouldn’t eat so you can fit into that dress…

Yes, I know we already posted this one, but it being the spring season, I thought I’d post a quickie with a new link for all of the newly engaged couples…

[via the forums]

EDIT: Looks like Costco has killed this one.

I really miss going to Costco. Seriously I do. Sure, there’s a Sam’s Club in my town and I have membership there too, but there’s something about Costco that’s just awesome. And combine that with the fact that they’re giving away this free Ziploc bag sample and you don’t even need a membership number? Well, seriously, how awesome can you get?

Hmmm, well, it’d be more awesome if a stack of pancakes came in one of my bags, but I doubt that’d happen…

[via the forums]

Raise your hand if you think I should dress up in drag just to get this free Aeropostale tank top sponsored by Seventeen magazine? Turns out that starting today, any girl age 13 to 29 can bring in a copy of the April 2009 issue of Seventeen or a printout of the seventeen.com homepage to any Aeropostale store and get a free tank top.

It’d be pretty easy for me to borrow a dress and I’ve already got shaggy hair that might be passable for a chick. Plus, it’d give me an excuse to put on some makeup and get that manicure I’ve been dying for. Then again, the last time I did something like this, I got arrested in an undercover police sting. Talk about a funny story that I’ve suppressed and kept hidden from the light of day!

Haha, ohhh… where was I?

EDIT: Looks like this is dead.

No matter how many times I post, I always laugh when I read comments and see people thanking Goob. As if he’s the only guy who writes around here. I mean, heck, we have enough writers on the front page that you could put us all in a basket and we’d be a royal fruit bowl!

And as soon as I get this free reusable tote bag from Nature’s Source, I think I’m going to print up every single time I’ve been called Goob.

Nah, I shouldn’t… I’d probably need a bigger bag.

At a press conference downtown, we find our freebie crusaders!

Goobman: Citizens of HIF-topia! Whilst our communication might be hindered by some problems on the forums, I bring you this urgent and grave message.
The press around the podium chatters
Goobman: You see, HIFfers, with the changing seasons, a lot more children will be running outside and playing. Parents, the time has come to make sure your children are safe!
Boy Adam: Goobman is right, kind citizens, everyone should get one of these free child safety kits today and make sure they’re taking the appropriate measures to protect their family today.

A murmur breaks through the crowd and a voice projects from the back, splitting the crowd open!
Lord Undrallio: That’s right, denziens of this sloppy suburbia, focus on your children so that I can steal all of your freebies!

Goobman: Not if we can help it! To the Freebiemobile, Boy Adam!

Our heroes race off into the brighter day, in pursuit of their arch-nemesis, leaving us with another saga… TO BE CONTINUED!