Freebies and free stuff

Tradepub, the company that gives away hundreds of free magazines (my favorite being Website Magazine – a must for any website/blog owner), is now giving away free summaries of the book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. These are like Cliff Notes so that you don’t actually have to read the entire book I just signed up, immediately got an e-mail where I could download the 5-page file, and read through it while eating a late lunch.

I’m clearly not as productive as I could be and I think it’s because I’m violating Rule #4 – Think Win/Win. The only things I really think about are baseball and women and I clearly win at neither.

EDIT: This is no longer available.

If you take a quick survey on bottled water, you can get a free two year subscription to Parents magazine. I’m not sure which company owns Parents, but I’d like to take this time to official offer them my services as a writer. I may not be a parent, but I think being an older sibling certainly gives me an angle that warrants my own column. Heck, I could easily pound out a few thousand words on the Top Twelve Ways To Scare Your Sister or Eight Surefire Methods To Tie Up Your Brother by this time next week!

Yes! Finally! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for somebody to develop a real life potion that revitalizes you after only a few sips? It’s been near the top of my Dream List for years, only behind a hovercar, butler robot, and an army of killer bees. Heck, at this rate, I’ll have my very own space ship by 2020.

Wait a minute…this free Mana Potion pack only comes with some stickers and temporary tattoos? [Insert loud groan of disappointment here] You know, that sound is slowly becoming my official theme.

All You magazine is giving away a coupon for a free Marie Callender’s Pasta Dish, which from the looks of it is a microwaveable dinner? This offer was supposed to be for Reality Checkers members, so you might want to sign up there first before you sign up for the freebie. Now begin the countdown until somebody leaves a comment saying I shouldn’t have posted this because it’s dishonest and I’m a communist and I probably enjoy shooting lasers at puppies and babies.

In 3…2…1…

The offer is good until Tuesday, April 21st and the coupons will be sent out in early May.

I find that the freebie magazines from FreebizMag, like this free 6 month Esquire subscription, tend to have a higher success rate if you have them shipped to your business address. Then not only are you getting more freebies, but you can use them to procrastinate!

What’s the over/under on how many more times there will be a free Prilosec OTC offer this year? 38? You might want to go ahead and bet the kid’s college fund on the over. Then again, I’m a degenerate gambler, so you might not want to take my advice.

If a free heartburn relief sample isn’t enough for you, this offer also comes with a free … Brett Favre trading card? *looks at the website to double-check* … Yeah, looks like it. They must have been out of letter openers, melon ballers, or any other number of random gifts.

If this free dry erase board paint works even remotely close to the way it’s being marketed, I’ll pay for a helicopter to dump a few thousand barrels of it down my chimney. I have three dry erase boards within arms reach and the idea of turning my entire wall into a giant dry erase board…? I… Well…. *kerplunk*

Sorry, I hyperventilated a little and passed out back there. My nerdy side never could handle excitement.

My main question at this point is can I dip my dogs in it? They always get on my lap, fall asleep, and then I feel bad about getting up. My life would be a lot easier if I could just carry around a dry erase marker and write any brilliant ideas I have on them.

EDIT: Link has been removed. See my post in the comments for more info.
EDIT 2: You know what, I’m still not convinced this is a bad link. I can’t find a single report of this site messing up anybody’s computer. I’ll leave the link deleted here, but if you follow the forums link below, you can find the freebie there.

In order to get this free Flexitol foot relief, you need to select which version you want in the white box on the left side of site. You can try staring at the screen and sending it telepathic instructions for 10 minutes, like I did, but good luck getting any results other than a headache.

[via the forums]

EDIT: Thanks everybody, I’m no longer looking!

I’m looking for anybody who lives in the D.C.-Virginia-Maryland area who has been in the freebie/coupon scene for a while and would like to possibly be interviewed by the Washington Post. Maybe you’ve gotten some great freebies recently or have a few good stories regarding freebies / money saving tips & tricks / on-line coupons / etc. Contact me if you’re interested and want more info. Thanks!

I’ve got a few more coupons to tide everyone over until you get that much-anticipated tax refund check in, oh, July. Of course, knowing the turnaround time for most freebies, I’d like to think we’re a patient bunch, so what’s waiting for one more thing? At least the following coupons are instant (for the most part), so if you’re in need of instant gratification and saving a few bucks, here you go:

Groceries:

Litehouse: $1.00 off 2 Litehouse salad dressings

Splenda: Save up to $3.50 on Splenda products.

French’s: 50 cents off any French’s mustard

Michelina’s: $1.00 off Michelina’s Authentic and/or Lean Gourmet frozen entrees

Jell-O: Take 60 cents off any Jell-O gelatin or pudding snack cups

Brown Cow: Various printable coupons for Brown Cow Yogurt

Cherry 7UP: $1.00 off a 12-pack of Cherry 7UP Antioxidant (via the forums)

Heinz: 50 cents off one bottle of Heinz natural vinegar (via the forums)

Health & Beauty:

Woolite: $1.50 off any Woolite color laundry detergent

Sure: $1.00 off any Sure deodorant

Mentadent: $1.00 off any Mentadent toothpaste