Freebies and free stuff

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa….whoa. How can anybody look at this free Fancy Feast Appetizers for cats and not ask the following question: since when do cats get appetizers? I don’t even get appetizers! The day my cat starts eating better than me is the day I throw in the towel and start acting like a cat. I can lick myself whenever I want, six hour naps in the afternoon aren’t frowned upon, and free belly scratches on demand.

[via Chris - thanks!]

The free Nicoderm CQ offer is back and comes with $7 in coupons like last time. It’s a non-medicated sample though, so you’re really just getting the coupons. I wonder how many people would try it, while not knowing it’s non-medicated, and suddenly feel like it’s working. I try creating the placebo effect all the time, but it never pans out. I still get migraines despite my stubborn approach to ward them off with pixie sticks.

The free Nicorette 20-Pack gum offer is still available as well, FWIW.

I wonder if this free Human Rights Campaign bumper sticker will really work. On the one hand, it’ll be nice to slap on my truck and proudly display that I’m a fan of human rights. On the other hand, the only people who will see it will be those whom I just cut off in traffic. Will it potentially calm down the enraged driver behind me? I sure hope so!

I have an alternative solution to the ongoing health care debate: everyone should be entitled to Freebie Therapy. The Government should send everyone random freebies, and the world would be a happier place. I’m living proof: I’ve been in a crappy mood all day, and then after coming home and checking my mail, my mood has significantly improved! I guess a free granola bar or body wash might not cure all ailments, but it does make everything a little better, right?

Groceries:

Cinnabon: 55 cents off Cinnabon cereal

7-Up: $1.00 off a 12-pack of 7-up (any flavor)

Litehouse: $1.00 off 2 Litehouse products

Ronzoni: $1.00 off 2 boxes of Ronzoni Healthy Harvest pasta

Buitoni: Save $1.00 on any Buitoni purchase (must sign up)

Newman’s Own: Save up to $3.00 on Newman’s Own products

Health & Beauty:

Dove: Save up to $4.50 on Dove skincare products

Nair: $3.00 off 2 Nair hair removal products

Miralax: $1.00 off Miralax

Misc:

Cold-Eeze: $1.00 off any Cold-Eeze product (must sign up)

GE: $1.00 off one GE Energy Smart CFL lightbulb

Walgreens: $5 off a purchase of $25 or more (before taxes; after coupons). Hurry, expires 8/29!
)

Aw man, this free Beech-Nut Starter Kit is for babies, not literal beach crazed fans as the name suggests. How would a beach starter kit even work? They send you an envelope full of sand and a little umbrella from cocktail drinks?

This freebie includes coupons for Beech-Nut products as well as a newsletter with “helpful advice.” I can dole out advice as well, such as be prepared for babies to pee on you. I’ve got dozens of younger siblings¹ and they just love to surprise unsuspecting diaper changers.

1. number may be exaggerated [↩]

EDIT: Looks like Crazy Ed is out of jerky!

The full name of this offer is free Crazy Ed’s Roadkill Beef Jerky, so…Mmmmm!

I love how the logo has a guy on a motorcycle with a cactus in the background while the fine print says “made in Vermont.” Really? They have cacti in Vermont? Isn’t it a little, I don’t know, cold up there?

You know, between the cactus and roadkill, I’m starting to think Ed really may be crazy. Any Hiffers in Vermont who can go check on him?

If you happen to have a Scotter’s Coffeehouse nearby (their locations are kind of randomly spread out), then stop in today, Wednesday August 26, for a free 20oz. Fruit ‘N Ice Mixer. The ad says to either print out a copy or show it on your phone/laptop to the barista, but what are the odds that they’ll require you to do this? Just try to copy me and be super suave. If they give you any trouble, casually drop a quarter into the tip jar and then wink repeatedly. Works nevery time.

Walmart must be reading HIF, because one day after I posted the Hallmark coupon they go and offer a free Hallmark card! Okay, so maybe nobody from Walmart reads HIF and it’s just a small coincidence, but I’ve been known to find links where none existed. Take the time I mowed the grass and then went inside to watch the Mariners win a 10-0 ballgame. Did they win because I did my chore or because of their strong pitching and hitting? I think we all know the correct answer here.

If you send an eCard to a friend as part of National Forgiveness Day, you can get a free taco at Taco Del Mar on Thursday, August 27. Of course, the only way for your to get this coupon is for a friend to forgive you or…you know, send one to yourself. That won’t be a problem for me since I’m always forgiving myself for stupid things I do. Why just this morning I had to apologize to my body for waking up at the crack of dawn. It was having none of it though, so I let it punch me in the face as punishment. A bit harsh, but I think it was relatively fair.

Here’s a handy list of store locations for your taco consuming reference.

I don’t normally post freebies specific to one area only, but I grew up in upstate South Carolina AND lived off of Zaxby’s for at least a quarter of my college career. So I’m letting the good people of Greenville-Spartanburg know that from 2:00 until closing today (Tuesday, August 25), you can get a free milkshake are participating Zaxby’s! Think of it as my end of summer present to my hometown.