Freebies and free stuff

This free breast self-exam shower card is a good idea, both for reminding women to frequently check themselves for breast cancer and for also showing them how to properly do so. I just wish there was something similar for people like me who frequently forget how to shower in the first place. I jump in, freak out because of the cold water, and then end up squirting shampoo in my eyes.

This is easily a daily occurrence for me!

There’s a new free Emergen-C drink mix from Walmart available, but my family is screaming at me to leave the computer right now so I can’t post anything interesting. But…I so want to…no, now they’re physically trying to tackle me and hide my laptop. Leave me be, I want to work!! Arrrg!

Must. Type.

Okay, they win. I’m outta here.

EDIT: The coupon is BOGO free. My bad, folks, I forgot to bring my printer with me on vacation

Alpo is holding a contest where you upload a photo of your dog and tell a story about…well honestly, I can’t tell what type of story you’re supposed to share. I figure it has something to do with dogs, so I wrote a few brief sentences about how cool my dog is and submitted it in exchange for a printable free 13.2 oz. can of Alpo dog food.

Some might say I’m slacking on my job as a freebie hunter, but it’s a Sunday AND I’m working while on a quasi-vacation! If that doesn’t spell dedication, I don’t know what does.

Also, if you happen to win the contest, you’ll get free dog food for a year. Well, your dog will. I don’t think you’ll want to eat it.

Don’t forget that this weekend is the final free National Parks Admission deal of the summer. This is a great chance to take the family out for a little fresh air and sunshine before ultimately getting into a fight about why you can’t start the campfire and whose fault it is the tents got left behind. Then little Johnny will go play in poison ivy and little Betty will start eating the “mud cake” she made and OKAY, WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEKEND?!

Ah, family outings!

[via the freebie calendar]

EDIT: This is no longer available.

This free Spin magazine subscription is being given away by lollapalooza.com and don’t look now, but I’m about to annoying the heck out of anybody within earshot for the next three days. Lollapalooza has to be one of the five funnest words to say, hands down. Lollapalooza. It’s got to be the only five syllable word that still rolls off the tongue. Lollapalooza. Lollapalooza.

Oh man, this weekend is going to rock!

These free USA soccer stickers are only available to the first 25,000 people, which is just around the threshold for what I’ll post. I plan on using mine to cover up one of the many dents in my truck. In fact, I’ve got so many different stickers on it, most people think I’m part of a stock car racing league. Unfortunately, there aren’t any leagues where the speed limit is 30 MPH, which is what my truck can safely top out at without any parts falling off.

I’ve officially eaten so many free Mars Chocolate Bars this summer than I’m fairly certain I could build a bridge to Mars with all the leftover wrappers. Sure, there’s no oxygen in space, but I can hold my breath for a really long time. Like watch this!

*takes deep breath*

…

*gulps for air*

Did you see that?! Oh man, I held it for at least 10 seconds.

EDIT: It looks like they aren’t accepting any new subscribers right now.

If you sign up for SC Johnson Right@Home, you’ll receive occasional exclusive coupon offers through your e-mail¹, such as this free $1 any Pledge product coupon. If SC Johnson really wanted me to feel at home, they’d personally deliver the coupons to me in the mail. Or move in next door and play Euro Techno music at 4 in the morning.

1. As always, make sure you’re using your freebie e-mail address instead of your home or work address! [↩]

These free Nature Valley Trail Mix Bar & Nut Clusters are available to anybody who will join General Mills’ free Eat Better America newsletter. We’ve posted that a few times here in the past, so you may already have an account with them. However, my freebie instincts tell me even current members can sign up for the Nature Valley samples mainly because it let me sign up just fine.

So it wasn’t so much my instincts as my common sense and alertness. I think I deserve a reward in the form of brownies. To the bakery!

If you register with a new account on Walgreens between now and Aug. 24, you’ll be credited with 25 free 4×6 photo prints. They’ll charge for shipping, however you can get that fee waived if you opt for in-store pickup.

For some reason, my brain just told me hand to do a waving motion when I typed “waived” up above. Hey, it did it again! Hmmm, I wonder what will happen if I type “teleport in a delicious lunch.”

Crap, nothing.