Freebies and free stuff

After countless freebies that were only available on the East or West coast, we’ve finally got something for Hiffers doing their thing in the Midwest! Here’s a coupon for a free 20 oz. Pepsi at participating Kum & Go convenience store locations. I don’t plan on being in the Dakotas between now and the end of September (which is when this coupon expires), but I’ll keep one in my wallet just in case. You never know!

EDIT: If you follow them on Twitter, they’ll also send you a coupon for a free 20 oz. coffee! Thanks to Bridgette for sending in that tip.

Stop in at any participating Carvel location between 3-7pm on Thursday, September 24 and get a free Oreo Lil’ Rounder. I’ve never had one of these before, but they appear to be giant Oreo cookies with ice cream in the middle instead of icing. They’ve even coupon for $3 off an 18-pack of Lil’ Rounders if you decide that you’ve got to have more.

In other news, home defibrillator sales just spiked by 20%.

[via the freebie calendar]

You know you’re a coupon-obsessed loser when your friend tells you your rapper name should be “coup-dog”. You know your friend is an even bigger loser when he says this shortly after ordering a “rooty tooty fresh ‘n fruity” meal from IHOP.

Groceries:

Food Should Taste Good: $1 off any snack, 5oz or larger (must sign up)

Chiquita: $1 off 2 Chiquita frozen fruit smoothies

Ice Mountain: $1 off 2 multi-packs of Ice Mountain spring water (must sign up)

Wheat Thins: $1 off Wheat Thins flatbrad crackers

Burleson’s: $1 off Burleson’s honey, 12 oz or larger (must sign up)

Weight Watchers: $0.75 off Weight Watchers string cheese or cream cheese

Organic Prairie: Save up to $2 on organic prairie meat products

Health & Beauty:

Maybelline: $3 off Pulse Perfection vibrating mascara

Arm & Hammer: $3 off a Spinbrush SONIC toothbrush or $2 off a Pro Series Spinbrush

Restaurants:

Bar-B-Cutie: Free regular BBQ sandwich (Must sign up; limited locations)

Baskin Robbins: $1 off any BR Cappuccino Blast (medium or larger)

Carvel: $2 off a Carvel ice cream cake or roll (must sign up)

EDIT: What the what? ALL THREE freebies that I posted today are now dead? Shouldn’t this have been in my horoscope or something?

This free Carfax Report offer is more of a playful freebie unless you’re in the market to purchase a car. I used my free report to look up my truck and was told that the odometer had potentially been tampered. Yeah, it’s my fault the makers only put five digits on the display so that after 99,999 it simply rolled over. Furthermore, I can’t believe I was caught! As soon as the first 100,000 were put on it, I raced around the country to secretly put on another 100,000 without anybody being any the wiser!

You know, I probably shouldn’t be telling this to tens of thousands of people. I’d make a horrible evil scientist.

EDIT: The marketing company running this offer looks to be a tad bit clueless. Here’s the coupon in question and your best bet will be to use it in a self-checkout line since it’s for a free item.

Downy has a promotion going on where you can get a coupon for a free travel size Downy Wrinkle Releaser if you upload a photo of a wrinkled item to their website. Unfortunately for them but luckily for lazy people like me, they’ve got the coupon directly uploaded onto their site. So…do whatever you feel like on this fine Monday afternoon. It’s not like I can tell you what to do. Or can I? Uh…send me $10. Make it $20! Actually, go ahead and draw up Power of Attorney papers for me to sign.

They also say you’ll get $10 in coupons if you subscribe to their newsletter, but again, they have an option where you can bypass that altogether and have the coupons mailed directly to you. Either the people over at Downy are geniuses or somebody really needs to explain to them how proper marketing works.

EDIT: This is no longer available, but I’ll keep checking it over the next few hours to see if it comes back.

The free Lever2000 soap offer page on Walmart’s site has bubbles you can roll over which pop and displays words that supposedly describe the soap. I got playful, happiness, smooth, and laughter before giving up and moving on. Who thinks of their soap as being playful? I’m not sure they’re using it correctly if they do. And smooth? Quick, name me a soap that’s jagged and sharp! Exactly.

Insomnia sounds like a nightmare to me. Thankfully there are items like this free Don’t Disturb Me sleeping aid sample available, but still. Falling asleep is one thing I’ve never had trouble with and I’m pretty darn thankful for that, because sleep is amazing. I think the fact that I dream a lot helps as well. Although more times than not waking up is a rather depressing experience. I’ll be fighting a dragon or dating a supermodel and then *poof*, I’m in my race car bed with Star Wars sheets and a nightlight on.

I post these free McCruelty mask & stickers from PETA only because the mask is pretty darn creepy. Plus it’s just in time for Halloween! I can’t wait to scare a few … Wait a minute …

McDonald’s. McCruelty. Oh, I see what you did there! Man, PETA, that is Clever with a capital c. Who thought of this idea?! Give that a person a raise – immediately! Oh man, it’s just so witty! I should probably go ahead and retire from writing, because there’s no way I’ll ever be able to top that little play on words! …

EDIT: Unless you own a time machine, this freebie is no longer available.

Good news to any fellow carnivores out there! We can get a free Pollo Campero fried chicken leg or thigh on Wednesday, September 23 at participating location. I’d never heard of this chain before, but I now realize that the perfect way to grab my attention is to give away a freebie. Well, that, or just call out my name. Although I have to say, if a commercial came on saying “hey, Goob, look over here! We’ve got a cool new product for you, Goob!” I’d probably have a nice little freak out and then hide under my bed for at least a week.

EDIT: This is no longer available.

Some people commented last week that they haven’t been getting their free Mars Chocolate Bar coupon despite signing up multiple times. The fine print says only four coupons can be sent to any household during the promotion, so maybe a family member or roommate also signed up and together you all reached the four coupon limit without realizing it.

I bet there are other possible reasons as well though. A sneaky mailman. Computer glitch. Worldwide conspiracy to take over the world one stolen coupon at a time. They all make good sense to me!