Freebies and free stuff

Anybody else extremely glad the weekend has arrived? We’ve got plenty of football to watch, two days of relaxation, and oh yeah, the free Mars Chocolate bar offer! At this point I assume the chocolate is coming from Mars itself. Didn’t giving away so much candy this summer deplete the planet of our chocolate reserves? No?

Oh, that must have been a dream I had last night. That would explain the talking lobster and zombie Abe Lincoln.

I have absolutely no idea what these free Snikiddy Snacks are, but you and I can try them out for ourselves by putting babybix sample in the comment form and signing up.

One of their sign-up questions had an option of “Media/blog/internet” and that got me thinking about how on some sites there’s an option to type in where you came from. What’s the best guess for number of times “heyitsfree.net” has been written in over the years? Heck, how many free samples have people gotten total via HIF ever since I first started making bad jokes over three and a half years ago? Are we close to a million yet? We have to be.

In other words, that’s awesome.

[via BabyBix]

If you’re a new customer, you can get 50 free Snapfish prints by using the code FREELABOR between now and Sept. 13. If you’re already a customer, the same code can get you free shipping on any order. And now thanks to Snapfish‘s name, I’m in the mood for some tuna for lunch. Mercury poisoning, here I come!

Wait…the Swiss Army has a fragrance? I thought they just had knifes, watches and the occasional box of chocolates.

Thank you for your interest in Swiss Unlimited, the new men’s fragrance from Victorinox. We would be happy to send you a sample of this new product. It’s fresh, aromatic scent and woody masculine sensuality captures the open-air spirit of Switzerland.

Huh, go figure. Something about this makes me laugh though. I don’t know if it’s simply the mere idea of a Swiss Army or the fact that some of their more elite soldiers protect the Pope while wearing court jester uniforms. There’s so much unintentional humor here that I can’t really focus.

If you’re still looking for a place to watch this week’s opening set of NFL games, you might consider heading to the bar at T.G.I. Friday’s. Sure, they’ve got booze, but they’re also giving away six free T.G.I. Friday’s buffalo wings on Thursday, Sept. 10, Sunday, Sept. 13 and Monday, Sept. 14 for anyone sitting at the bar. Imagine how many random strangers you might befriend when you let them know about this freebie as well!

If you happen to be a victim of the current economic climate and without a job or health insurance, CVS and Walgreens have your back and are offering free flu shots.

Despite press releases saying the shots started this month, CVS is actually giving out free flu shots starting in October. You can call 1-888-FLU-SHOT to find the nearest location and time.

Walgreens has an offer where they are giving away free flu shot vouchers if you visit a Wellness Tour bus between September 17 and November 15. The offer’s a bit limited, however, as the bus tour schedule shows it’s only going to be in 17 states.

Stand back, people! We’ve got a high class freebie here. This free Curel Itch Defense lotion has received the coveted National Eczema Association seal of acceptance! I can’t tell you how long I’ve been waiting for a freebie with this seal. I didn’t even know it existed until today!

This got me wondering if the freebies I post on HIF are in effect also receiving the Goob Stamp of Approval. I should make a batch of GSoA pins and carry them around with me to stick on anything I like. It could be this year’s version of the Livestrong bracelet where everyone and their cousin wants one. The only problem is I’m not fighting cancer. I mean, it’s not like I’m a friend of cancer, I’m just not out there battling against it.

So in conclusion, I’m in a rambling mood today.

All You magazine is giving away a free Slim-Fast 100 Calorie Snack Bar if you’re a member of their Reality Checkers club. (We posted one of their freebies back in April, so you might have signed up then.)

Anyway, the snack bar comes in a Peanut Butter Crunchtime flavor and I have to say that’s a great name. Just thinking about eating something named Crunchtime gets me pumped up. Woo! Crunchtime! Yeah!

Okay, I’m winded now. Where’s my oxygen tank?

If you happen to have an Amazon Kindle (you lucky dog!), then you might be pleased to know that there are a ton of free Amazon Kindle books available. It might be worth scooping up a bunch of them for later even if you’re not looking for anything new to read now.

I know some of my friends complain that reading books and newspapers on an electronic device is sacrilege and I sort of agree. However, as I recently packed to move, I realized I owned enough books to fill the Ancient Library of Alexandria. Captain Beatty would fry me alive if he discovered my hoard. I’d probably thank him too. Just the thought of moving them again is giving me a hernia.

For some reason, these free Sensis condoms remind of me ninjas. I think it’s because Sensis sounds like sensei, like Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

And long story short, now I can’t stop picturing ninjas having relations.