Freebies and free stuff

First up on the great tour of Freebies Goob Missed While Frying Himself On The Beach is this free BIC pens offer. Through September 9, they are giving away 1000 pens on a first come basis starting each day at noon EST, which is only 30 minutes away! Unless you’re reading this in the daily newsletter, at which point you’ll have to wait until tomorrow. The minor inconvenience is yet another incentive for somebody to hurry up and invent a time machine.

EDIT: Booo, that went fast.

Does anybody else think of Bert and Ernie when they see this free Burt’s Bees toothpaste? I used to adore Sesame Street so much that I had a Bert and Ernie doll pair that I carried around with me everywhere. There are at least five Christmas photos of me screaming on Santa’s lap with Bert and Ernie perching on my own.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I was an adorably awesome kid and I’m not sure what’s happened to me since.

Heck yes! I have no idea what this free Prevacid 24HR is, but I’m sending one to the Seattle Mariners’ frontoffice. They could use a bat with 24 homeruns in it more than any other team.

Oh, it’s a heartburn medicine? I guess I could use that as well. There’s something about sitting on the beach all day that makes you eat nothing but junk food. Had it not been for home cooked dinners every night, I probably would have gone a week straights without a single piece of fruit or vegetable.

There’s a new Nature Made Casino D instant win game going on, but one thing I noticed that everybody wins a free Nature Made Vitamin D travel-sized sample. If only every contest had a guaranteed prize!

Snapfish is offering a free 8×10 photo collage with free shipping for today and tomorrow only. I’m still on the fence as to what pictures I’ll use. I’ll probably use some vacation photos of me. Let’s see, there’s me getting tossed in the waves, me getting pummeled in the surf, and me almost drowning in a few feet of water. Ahhh, memories.

In order to get this freebie, login / create your Snapfish account, make the collage, and then use code GRANDSHIP.

We’ve posted this free Atkins bars & starter kit before (in January, 2010 to be exact) but the link is new so I’m guessing that a new e-mail address will put you in business. And if I’m wrong, well…let’s just say my job security isn’t in danger. That is until my laptop finally becomes sentient.

An outside observer watching my family walk to the beach must think we’re invading. Every able bodied person is carrying at least three times their bodyweight in chairs, bodyboards, surfboards, umbrellas, coolers, towels, shovels, buckets, spare towels, sunscreen, books, spare coolers, emergency alcohol coolers, and God knows what else. What does this have to do with free drinkable Ola Loa vitamins? Nothing, but too late, you’ve already read this far!

You have to confirm your email in order to get this freebie.

EDIT: This is no longer available.

I’d love to come up with a joke for these free Post-It Durable Tabs & Label Pads, but I’m actually on vacation this week and my entire family is standing in front of me in their bathing suits and tapping their feet. Apparently they’re ready for the beach right this very second.

*Okay, I’m coming! Hold your horses!*

Peer pressure. Gets me every time.

This free Tomorrow’s Harvest smart food is designed for use during catastrophic emergencies such as earthquakes, hurricanes, and extended internet outage. Oh man, I’m getting the shakes just thinking about that last scenario!

I didn’t think this form was working at first, but you should see a small “thank you!” at the top of the page after submitting your info.

Coupons.com has a coupon available for a free Fruitista Freeze from Taco Bell with any purchase. They sell tacos for, what, $0.79? The coupon only appeared when I entered my zip code, but in case your zip doesn’t work, give 80002 a try. Did you know that’s the zip code for Arvada, CO? It’s the eighth most populous city in the state, 235th in the country, and wow I’m spending way too much time on Wikipedia now.