Freebies and free stuff

I need a jug of antibacterial lotion. Sure, the stuff is awful for my skin, but there’s something that I love about it and the giant bottles I have in my departments at work. Its like I’m the retail version of Mr. Monk. So maybe if I get enough of these free Wet Ones Antibacterial Wipes from Third Age (see my note about them in a prior entry) I’d never have to fill up another jug again…

And maybe one day I’ll be able to shake someone’s hand without immediately crying for a tissue too… A guy can dream, can’t he?

Emergen-C must really be trying to get everyone on-board with their product. Time and time again, wherever I turn around they’ve got another sample. This time, its a site called Third Age with this free Emergen-C Orange sample. Sure, it looks a little spammy, but from all of the reviews I read from external sites, when you just click ignore on the “select an offer” page, and then just close the tab/window on the next page, well, it works just fine. And I got e-mail confirmation shortly thereafter, so I’m believing it so far…

Now if only the samples came as fast as that e-mail confirmation…

Growing up, I always wanted to learn how to play violin. Just for the sole reason that I already played guitar and I wanted a bow to play my Les Paul all Jimmy Page style. I never got my violin.

But now, I can get a free subscription to Trumpet magazine. That’s close, right? Brass, strings… meh, its just instrumental differences…

When I graduated college, I didn’t look back. Sure, I missed the care packages and goodies that my parents would send me, but I didn’t miss the whole class aspect.

Now that I’m in the “real world” and working, though, I’d kill for a class instead of a day at work. That’s why sending this free greeting card for a college student (use the code “college10″) makes me miss it even more. Granted, my sister would probably prefer that I send her money, but dammit, this card will have to do…

Walmart has free Tena overnight pads which are “NEW & IMPROVED!” Holy $#*@ are you kidding me?! New and improved? No, there’s no way, I can’t believe it. It’s as if all of my dreams have finally come true.

Here’s a link for three free issues of Seventeen magazine which any young girl should enjoy. As opposed to myself. I sat down to dinner the other night with nothing to read but a recent freebie issue and could only make it through the first 20 pages before losing all faith in humanity.

But hey, that was five pages further than I’d expected! Gotta find those silver linings.

EDIT #2: Hiffers report this is working again.

I hope this free Crest Pro Health Clinical Gum Protection toothpaste isn’t as much of a mouthful as its name.

EDIT: I think this is dead.

Somehow when I saw this free Dr. Oz ‘Just 10′ bracelet, I missed exactly what it was for. I realized it was for weight-loss, but I couldn’t figure out 10 what…

Until I realized it was right in the darn graphic in giant letters at the top of the page. I guess I need a nap…

EDIT: These samples are no longer available.

Walmart is offering free Quaker life soft bars in either banana walnut or cinnamon raisin pecan flavor. I don’t understand how anybody can eat Life. I tried it once and there were way too many plastic pieces and cardboard in it for my taste.

How much longer until we transfer the technology behind free Cottonelle Fresh Flushable Moist Wipes to other items? I lost an entire battalion of GI Joes to my neighborhood plumber’s suction vacuum and I don’t think I can stand watching my child experience the same pain.

You have to refer a friend and you’ll both get a coupon for a free tub of wipes.