Freebies and free stuff

EDIT: The company requested that I remove this link.

I always wanted to have my own printing press. The sort of moveable type thing where I could make my own pages and really learn how to bind my own books and all of that cool artsy fartsy stuffs with different types of paper. I remember when I was in 10th grade and my friend brought in “unrippable paper.” It had the coolest texture and you really could rip it. Seriously.

I wonder if somewhere in this free GotPrint sample kit they have anything like that. I’ve never been so entertained by a piece of paper before without making a paper airplane out of it…

This free Dove Energy Glow sample is so hot, you could say its muy caliente. Seriously. So if you only hablo un poco espanol, you could just try to use Google to translate. Only the forms that you need to fill in, I still can’t tell you what the stuff actually does…

Sometimes I like having random things around like this free immigration law reform dvd. Its good for not just being a frisbee to throw at my cats, but its also great as a microwave lightning generator or a coaster. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll get bored enough to watch it…

This makes me miss the days when people would just send you things on cassette tape or VHS and you could just tape over the holes and make your mixtapes on them. Or record episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation… Don’t judge me, Willis.

This coupon for a free 16oz hot drink at Pilot Travel Centers might come in handy. I might just have to print a ton of them off for whenever I have to head out for work meetings. I mean, one coupon in the morning, one in the evening, and I’ll be golden!

EDIT: This is no longer available.

I wonder sometimes about our future and language as a whole. I mean, think about it: growing up, when you talk about an apple or cheese or shampoo, its just an object. Its not a Braeburn apple, Fuji apple, or Granny Smith Apple; its not Swiss cheese, Colby cheese, or Havarti cheese; and its not straightening shampoo, conditioning shampoo, or deep cleaning shampoo. All of these adjectives and descriptive words are going to confuse us all!

So that’s why this free SofnFree N Pretty hair care sample is perfect. It just gives you the exact thing that it does right in the name of it. Maybe we should just call it “Fred” instead. Fred would be a good name.

I remember Primus. Other than the South Park theme song. Not much, but just enough. Maybe this free EP download with e-mail subscription will jog my memory just a little more…

EDIT: This is no longer available.

When I used to live closer to a bigger natural formed body of water, I sort of wanted to get a boat. I mean, I thought it would be cool to just have a boat so I could go out and have a reason to drink and do nothing all weekend. Not that a boat facilitates that, but it gives me a good reason to, I think.

Maybe when I get this free subscription to Motor Boating Magazine I can relive those glorious memories… All I’d need would be a plastic tugboat, my bathtub, and a 6 pack of Harp…

EDIT: Aaaaaand it’s dead.

It doesn’t matter what sort of wipes I see, whenever I see any sort of wipes, I get all Mr. Miyagi. So with this free coupon for a tub of Pampers Kandoo wipes? I want to wipe on and wipe off…

It’s been a while since I’ve remembered to mention the free Lowe’s Build & Grow Clinic. I think it’s because I don’t have kids, a fact my parents so kindly remind me of daily. I keep telling them not to expect grandchildren any time soon but they’re relentless. What started out as subtle “it’d sure be nice to have someone to spoil” hints have turned into “we’re secretly a family of super heroes and you’d better keep the blood line going unless you want our magic powers to vanish forever.”

As usual, space is limited, so you need to register on-line beforehand!

EDIT: This is no longer available.

Walmart is offering free Garnier Fructis anti-dandruff shampoo which has me wondering if there are any pro-dandruff shampoos out there. I have trouble seeing how that would even sell.