Freebies and free stuff

I look like a mad fool leaving bathrooms, trying to do the stretch-a-roonie to open doors without touching them, trying to squeak by with feet, elbows, or anything I can. That crumpled up towel on the floor? Probably guilty.

So even though I’m not ashamed of my Monk-like tenancies towards public restroom cleanliness, I’d gladly wear it on a free Spread Wellness wristband. If only it came with a free paper towel dispenser, though…

7-11′s Facebook page has a coupon that’s valid tomorrow for free corn nut chips. You don’t even have to like them or add an application to your profile in order to get it. Although if you’re in the liking mood, why not like HIF?

No, stop, don’t actually tell me why you won’t like it. That was supposed to be rhetorical.

EDIT: This is no longer available.

I’m trying to figure out why there are two “raisins” in free Mariani cinnamon raisin bread raisins. Can’t it just be free cinnamon bread raisins? Unless there are actual raisins from the cinnamon raisin bread embedded inside the final raisin product, then you only need to say raisin once. You can’t make raisin flavored raisins since their inherent flavor is raisin.

It’s silly saying raisins twice. Almost as silly as the amount of thought I just gave to this.

Disney really wants to make sure we never guess one of their Movie Rewards codes. The latest 5 point code is W7KY65NH3B and trying to memorize it is the perfect test to see if you have Alzheimer’s.

EDIT: No longer available.

Walmart has a new free Wisk laundry detergent offer but don’t fall for their claim of being able to do 64 loads. I bought some a while back and after emptying the entire bottle into my washing machine it didn’t even get through a single cycle.

I can never seem to find the right CD cases for the right albums that I have sitting around. It doesn’t bother me too much, knowing that I have tons of empty cases and the booklets and CDs are elsewhere, but this free Oasis BottleTray Digipak sample will throw me for a loop even more. I mean, to own the case but not have the CD? Absurd!

With my recent weight loss efforts, I find myself spending a lot more time with my wife shopping at the health food stores around town. That being said, I still haven’t gotten into the whole “protein shake a day” phase where I feel like I’m going to turn into Ah-nohld and “Pump you up.”

But before I can say “asta lavista, baby” to all of my fat, I’d better try something like this free Spiru-tein shake (use code 5646, I’ve heard). Supposedly it does something healthy. I lost track of what, though, when I got distracted thinking about breakfast…

Man, I should really eat before posting this many food samples in the morning…

I think I own too many hats. But thankfully, this free Ferguson Camo hat will be perfect for me if I try to fit in around here. Oh wait, never mind, there’s no John Deere logo on it…

One of my morning saving graces when I don’t have the time for a full on production is a bowl of Cream of Wheat. Don’t look at me like I’m your grandfather’s age! That stuff tastes great and is filling. Sadly, its not as portable as a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich on rye, but it does take less time to make than frying the bacon.

So I’m fairly glad to see this free Cinnabon Cream of Wheat sample. I mean, I like maple and brown sugar, but its nice to get a new option to try here and there… other than the Sponge Bob flavors, that is…

I’ll never understand fads. Then again, this is coming from a kid who wore cords and sweats when it was cool to wear jeans, and finally got jeans when the cords came back into fashion. And polo shirts? Yup, I rocked a popped color when I was 5.

Now these free Icky bands are those silly band things that are funky shapes and can be worn like bracelets. How silly is that? If you’ll excuse me, I find that so ridiculous that I have to meet up with my friends and trade our snap bracelets before we play pencil cracks!