Freebies and free stuff

We Hiffed it!

If you have unlimited text messaging, you might want to sign up for free Pantene Pro V Hair Color Solutions shampoo by texting PANTENECOLOR to 59999. All told there are six texts involved (three outgoing, three incoming). I get a thousand texts a month and currently have … let’s see here … 994 remaining. I’m sure all my friends just lost my phone number or something. I keep trying to call them but I think my phone is broken since all I hear is the same weird “your calls have been blocked by this number” message.

[thanks Passion for Savings!]

The free pack of Kleenex offer from last September is still available to anybody who missed it before or has a new email address. I sent one to my brother since he’s still claiming to be sick. Initially I thought he was making it up to get out of singing homemade Christmas carols a few weeks ago. Turns out he really was bummed to miss singing Rupert the Red-Nose Cow to the neighbors.

Our soon to arrive free Steviacane all natural sugar had better only have the good natural ingredients. I don’t want any badgers in mine.

Costco members can sign up for free Kirkland Signature Moisture shampoo and conditioner. Kirkland is their store brand, right? As a matter of fact, I think I’m wearing a Kirkland t-shirt now. Let me check … ah, no, this is a Victoria’s Secret blouse. How’d this even get into my closet?

What’s so special about a CHIHUAHUA that typing it into Disney’s site earns us 25 free Disney Movie Rewards Points? They’re not even smart dogs!

I shouldn’t have looked at that list because I see both of my dogs listed near the bottom. I guess that explains why one of them is eating a cat toy while the other just watches with a dumb grin on her face. I’d be so screwed if I ever fell down a well or got trapped in an abandoned mine shaft.

[thanks Peggy!]

EDIT: This is no longer available.

I’m in the middle of helping a friend remove some objectionable material from Google. Who knows how it got there but I was told by those with firsthand knowledge of the events that I somehow was responsible for every imaginable role. Upon hearing that news I proposed we completely cease investigating the origins of the website and when that didn’t work I pretended not to understand nor speak English. My final play was to buy their silence with some free Post-It durable tabs. Their continued punches on my shoulders makes me think it didn’t work.

Well here’s a holiday that doesn’t traditionally have freebies associated with it. MLK Day is coming up on Jan. 17 and to spread the word the government is giving away free MLK Day promotional items.

• MLK Day Posters
• MLK Day Fact Sheet
• MLK Day of Service DVD
• bookmarks
• stickers
• door hangers

Alright then. If there’s one thing my place is missing, it’s more door hangers.

This might be a little tricky for some, so here’s what you do. Check the items you want, then add them to your cart. Click your cart near the top middle of the screen and start the checkout process. It’ll ask you to register a free account and then once you do so, you’ll be taken back to the registration screen. Turns out that doubles as the login screen. Login to your account and just hit submit.

Your free Nordic Naturals Omega-3 sample kit will contain the following items:

• Some suff
• Some other stuff
• And a little more stuff

I’m just spitballing here. There is a picture of a poster, vitamins, and what looks to be a placard on the amount of mercury in fish so maybe that’s what we’re getting. No word on how they’re testing the mercury in each and every fish though. I called my sister to see if any officials had recently examined her pet goldfish, but all she did was hastily demand I stop calling her school and saying there was an emergency just to ask a stupid question. Blah blah blah, like some silly calculus test is any more important.

The site is crawling at the moment but I’ve already waited all morning to post this. Just submit the form and it should eventually go through.

EDIT: No longer available.

I recently started taking vitamin supplements after contracting a cold that lasted for over a month. I may have to step down to these free Nature Made kids vitamin D chewable tablets though. What genius discovered how to cram a full days worth of multivitamins into a tiny pill but couldn’t figure out how to make them smell better than a musty locker room? Every time I get a whiff of an open bottle I’m taken back to all those lovely hours I spent inside locker 419. It wasn’t too bad though.

This free Rouge magazine subscription makes two free magazines in one day! What are the odds?! Actually, don’t tell me, I hate math.

For the uninitiated, Rouge is a quarterly magazine offered by Proctor & Gamble. The articles are kind of lame, but each issue typically has $20+ in coupons for P&G beauty products like Cover Girl, Crest, Olay, Pantene and plenty more.