Freebies and free stuff

Ben & Jerry’s birthday freebie made me realize I’ve been focusing my attention on birthday offers that revolve around ice cream lately. I think that’s a sign from above that I need to eat more of it. I knew living beneath this dairy farm was a stupid idea.

Signup Freebie: Free scoop of ice cream.
Birthday Freebie: Free scoop of ice cream and $3 off an ice cream cake.

Remember, we have a full list of free birthday food!

EDIT: Well that sure died fast.

Despite what free SweetLeaf Stevia Sweetener’s name implies, I’ve yet to eat a leaf that was sweet. And trust me, I ate a lot of leaves growing up. It was during my phase where I wanted to become a giraffe. Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll grow out of it one of these days.

EDIT: This is no longer available.

I keep fixating on stupid taglines for recent freebies and this free Oxy clinical from Walmart is no exception. “Real People. Real Results. Real Fast.” So we can’t use these on our robot butlers?

WHOA NELLY! I can’t wait to use code 500000Pampers10 and get … what? Only 10 Pampers Gifts to Grow points? Aw, come on! Is it too much to expect half a million points?

[thanks Michelle!]

I like how the Buffalo Wild Wings birthday freebie announcement gives us permission to party. Does that mean I can dance and sing karaoke in the middle of the restaurant?

Signup Freebie: Zilch
Birthday Freebie: Free dessert

Remember, we have a full list of free birthday food!

Why aren’t I ripped yet? I’ve been taking stuff like this free MuscleGel protein supplement for years now in lieu of working out and I’ve yet to see any results. What am I doing wrong?

What should I eat for lunch? My choices are a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, jelly and peanut butter sandwich, or I guess toast. But I don’t have any butter, so it’d have to be jelly toast and if I was spreading jelly on bread then I might as well throw some peanut butter on there as well. Something tells me (A) I’m over thinking this and (B) this has nothing to do with a free My Life by Billy Joel song from Amazon.

[thanks Frugal Coupon Living!]

If you have a free account with ShopText (and if you don’t, then you should), then text BODY to 467467 to get a free Clean & Clear Morning Burst body wash sample. It only takes 4 total texts (2 out, 2 in) to get it.

Now why don’t we talk about how they managed to make a soap that not only cleans you but also makes you clear. Just think about all the bakeries we could rob after becoming invisible!

EDIT: Go me, I screwed up the link! It should be working now though.

The website for free U by Kotex looks a tad odd (it’s intended for people on their phones), but it’s the first sentence that has me most concerned. “Newsflash: It’s not the 1950s anymore.” WHAT?! Since when?

Yep, they’re spelling free Purina ONE beyOnd dog food with a capital O in the middle of the name. Why? Because they enjoy giving people like myself aneurysms, that’s why.