Freebies and free stuff

EDIT: Aw, we killed it.

I assume we have to like Purina on Facebook in order to get these free Purina Pro Plan Roasted Slices. I don’t see how our dogs are supposed to do it. Mine doesn’t even have a Facebook account. The last time I let her use my computer, she went to some dark sites on the web then ate half my keyboard.

There’s a coupon offer available for free Cottonelle Fresh Flushable moist wipes. Not only will they mail you the coupon, so you don’t have to own a printer, but they’ll also email the offer to your friend. Because if there’s one thing a friend should do, it’s make sure you have enough toilet paper!

[thanks to everyone who sent this in!]

Auntie Anne’s birthday freebie calls me a pretzel lover, which is overstating things a little. Yet it goes on to say “birthday cake, shmirthday cake.” DID THEY JUST DIS BIRTHDAY CAKE?! Pretzels are salted stale bread while birthday cake is the physical manifestation of a magical fairyland populated by rainbows, unicorns, and rainicorns.

Signup Freebie: Free sugar pretzel with purchase of any other item.
Birthday Freebie: Free BOGO coupon for any pretzel item.

Remember, we have a full list of free birthday food!

At 3pm EST today, Frito Lay will give away 24,000 free bags of potato chips via their Facebook page in honor of their recent Guinness World Record. Oh, I wonder what the record was! Could it be the world’s biggest chip? Perhaps it was for most chips stuffed into a mouth? Let’s see…

…Oh. It was for Most Fans on Facebook in 24 Hours. Well that’s lame. What? No, I’m not jealous that they were able to get 1,520,360 more fans in one day than HIF has gotten in two years!

EDIT: Looks like they’re all out.

I don’t care how much free Dove Go Sleeveless deodorant I wear – there’s no excuse for me to be walking around in a sleeveless shirt.

The Caribou Coffee birthday freebie is too vague for me. Does “free drink” include a whiskey neat? Because if so, that completely changes my opinion on coffee houses.

Signup Freebie: $1 off coupon.
Birthday Freebie: Free drink.

Remember, we have a full list of free birthday food!

EDIT: This is no longer available.

Let’s play a game. I’ll make a joke about Walmart’s new free John Frieda root awakening shampoo offer and you promise not to look in the archives to see if I’ve made it before. Deal?

Aw crap, I forgot to copy and paste the joke. I can’t even win at games I make up!

EDIT: Looks as if this is dead.

As a wall of pollen descends across the country, the only free weapon we have to fight back is this coupon for five free days of Zyrtec. Well, I guess fire is free, but then we might burn the homes of small woodland creatures. Trust me, pollen is bad, but an army of pissed off squirrels and chipmunks is far worse.

[thanks Jessica!]

Tonight from 5-10pm is Baskin Robbins 31 cent scoop night. You’re limited to three scoops, so in effect you can get a bunch of ice cream for a buck. Pun fully intended when I say Sweet!

[thanks Margaret!]

I’m hate to disappoint my extended family, but I can’t grow up. One look at the signup form for Joe’s Crab Shack birthday freebie and I instantly start giggling at “want crab in your inbox?”

Signup Freebie: Free appetizer.
Birthday Freebie: Free appetizer.

Remember, we have a full list of free birthday food!