Freebies and free stuff

As long as you’re one of the first 100,00 to sign up and haven’t used their services in the past 12 months, you can get a coupon for one free LiveSunless tanning session. I didn’t even bother searching for a nearby location because I do all my tanning au naturel. By which I mean sitting front of my computer with the brightness setting as high as possible.

The coupon expires on April 30, so you’ll have to use it this week … OR ELSE! I never was that good at making threats.

I’m going to need this coupon for a free Ironman Perform sports drink in about an hour. No, no, I’m not actually working out. I just have to run five errands today! That’s a 500% increase in errand activity compared to the previous 30 days. Usually I’m too busy making pointless pie charts and graphs to get anything done.

The coupon doesn’t have a bar code and says to “redeem at GNC and other authorized specialty retail shops.” That just means you need to use this location finder to … you know, find a location.

[thanks David!]

EDIT: This is no longer available.

Finally, an actual freebie! I was beginning to worry they didn’t exist any more or, even worse, I’d dreamed up their existence entirely and had spent the last six years of my life working on a nonexistent website. Talk about scary dinner conversation at the next family reunion.

I’m a few minutes too late for today’s newsletter, so here’s to hoping this free Folgers Special Roast coffee on Facebook stays alive for another day at least.

What can I say about McAlister’s Deli birthday freebie? It’s a coupon, I’ve never eaten at one of their establishments, and I once ran track with a guy named McAlister. Riveting!

Signup Freebie: Nothing
Birthday Freebie: $5 off coupon.

Remember, we have a full list of free birthday food!

There are a boatload of new House Party opportunities available. Unfortunately it has recently come to my attention that my place would be a horrible spot to host one. Why? Because it is infested with hornets, bees, or possible hybrid hornees. You know it’s bad when different species are conspiring together against you. To make matters worse, I incorrectly guessed my medieval suit of armor would finally be useful for the first time ever. Turns out hornees know how to crawl through joint openings.

Here’s what each of the House Parties are offering:

Expo Washable Markers House Party

• For Hosts:

• Expo 12″ x 18″ Easel Whiteboard

• Expo Washable Dry Erase Markers Bullet Tip
• Expo Washable Dry Erase Markers Fine Tip
• Expo Learning Boards
• Expo Board Care Erasers

BIC Soleil Sunny Moments House Party

• For Hosts:

• 3-pack of BIC Soleil razors
• Coupon for BIC Soleil razors
• USB bracelet to store digital photos
• Colorful scrapbooking carry-all
• Summer-themed scrapbook pages and stickers
• BIC Mark-It™ Permanent Markers

• BIC Soleil razor
• Coupon for BIC Soleil razors
• Colorful scrapbooking carry-all
• Summer-themed scrapbook pages and stickers

French Cocktail Host House Party

• Party planner
• Coupon or mail-in rebate to purchase wine and food.
• Pencils (WOOOOO, time to party!)
• Map of French wines
• Cocktail recipe book
• Silver serving tray
• Cocktail shaker
• Cheese board
• Hostess apron
• Napkins
• Glass markers
• Tea
• Provence mini-soaps

(more…)

At this point in life, it seems like the only accolades I receive are free Huggies Enjoy the Ride Rewards. I’d seriously pay my old Kindergarten teacher to drop by every now and again to dish out gold stars. “Oh my, Goob, you vacuumed the heck out of that living room! And is that fresh laundry I see folded on the counter? Here, pick two goodies out of the prize bucket!”

5 Point Codes
BKJBPWGSZRPNPGB
BKJZHTRKCNDPPGB

I’m afraid my computer is about to explode, so I’ll be taking a little break after posting this Souper Salad birthday freebie. I’ve never heard the fans whirl as loud as they are now. It sounds like a jet engine is in my living room and not in a good way. Although I’m not sure when having an active jet engine in your home would ever be a positive. Maybe after finishing an especially challenging scavenger hunt?

Signup Freebie: 20% off coupon for lunch or dinner buffet.
Birthday Freebie: Free lunch or dinner buffet.

Remember, we have a full list of free birthday food!

If you have a local Pretzelmaker, then stop by on Tuesday, April 26 to get a free pretzel. What reason is there to give away pretzels? Why, to honor a holiday you’ve never heard of (National Pretzel Day) and promote a singer you’ve especially never heard of (Kimberly Caldwell)!

I love when companies basically make excuses to give away freebies. It’s like how I convince myself that I’ve “earned” a cigar break because I walked to the mailbox instead of driving.

EDIT: Today’s stock has been exhausted.

There will be 1,000 or so free Gillette Fusion ProGlide razors on Facebook every day for the next few days or weeks or I don’t really know. I’m still trying to shake off the stupor from all the food I ate yesterday.

I kept missing out on this offer last week because it dies so fast. However, I’ll post on Facebook and Twitter whenever I catch the offer live from now one. You don’t have to like Gillette but you do have to add an app to your account. After doing so, you should see a signup form. If you’re forwarded to their YouTube account, hit back and try again.

Getting a 10 pack of the Tide freebie was a nice surprise, as was the can of Ocean Spray. In fact, the only letdown was seeing I didn’t make the cut of Ok!’s 50 Sexy Singles. I don’t think they appreciated the tasteful photo spread I sent of me nude save for a few strategically placed freebies.

Freebies Received

• 10 pack of Tide Stain Release
• Ocean Spray Sparkling Cranberry juice
• Esprit D’Oscar Eau De Parfum
• Kirkland household surface wipes
• Apr. 23, 2011 issue of Sports Illustrated magazine
• May 2011 issue of Playboy magazine
• May 2011 issue of Seventeen magazine
• Apr. 25, 2011 issue of Newsweek magazine
• Apr. 25, 2011 issue of Ok! magazine
• Apr. 25 – May 1, 2011 issue of Bloomberg Businessweek magazine
• May 2, 2011 issue of Jet magazine
• Apr. 25, 2011 issue of Barron’s magazine
• One weeks worth of Wall Street Journal newspapers.

My schedule gets crazy once summer hits, so I might start turning to Hiffers to keep these Freebie Received posts going for a few months!