Freebies and free stuff

One of the few critiques against printable coupons is that you’re left up the creek if you don’t have a printer. Figuratively, of course. I’ve never seen a situation where a printer helped navigate a river, which explains why I stopped bringing so many appliances when I go camping.

But it turns out that Redplum quietly allows consumers to sign up for their weekly free coupon packs. They’re the same packs that go out in the Sunday paper and, after signing up, you should be set for the next five years.

EDIT: Hiffed

Our free Florida Citrus magnet has a spot to insert a family photo and tips for a fruitful morning. I plan on skipping the photo and instead writing “GO BACK TO BED!” in the box. There’s no better way to make sure your morning is a success!

Need an argument for why proper grammar is necessary? Look no further than the Brio Tuscan Grille birthday freebie. All it takes is an ampersand and and to change the world’s worst cake into a delicious appetizer and dinner.

Signup Freebie: Free bruschetta quattro.
Birthday Freebie: Free filet and crab & shrimp cake.

Remember, we have a full list of free birthday food!

I don’t know what a free Jarlsberg ToastaBag grilled cheese sleeve is, so take it away blockquote:

A ToastaBag is a handy bag to quickly make a grilled cheese sandwich in your toaster. Also make it cleanly, because no melted cheese or crumbs are left behind. Prepare your sandwich, put it into the ToastaBag and place it in the toaster or toast oven. It only takes 3 minutes to make a delicious toasted sandwich.

As someone who can’t cook, I approve of this device. You have to submit your favorite grilled cheese recipe when signing up, but that shouldn’t be too hard to fabricate if you don’t have one. Although who doesn’t have a favorite grilled cheese? I’d argue they’re more American than apple pie at this point.

I also love this part of the fine print: “This offer may not be published in any magazine or website without Norseland, Inc’s written permission.” Oh, silly companies that don’t understand how the Internet works. You guys are hilarious.

The Eucerin Facebook page is asking people to take the Healthy Skin Pledge again in exchange for two free lotion samples. This is perfect for expressing my rebellious side. Since I’m too scared to break the law, I long ago resorted to breaking pointless promises.

You should have seen me in the 5th grade. My DARE officer ranted that medicine could be a drug, so I went to town that week and took an extra Flintstone vitamin every day. Just thinking it makes my heart race. I should get a leather jacket and motorcycle. Do they make training wheels for those?

Well this is an odd number (not literally) of free Disney Movie Rewards points. Use codes J5RN24XPV9 and SURPRISE to earn eight free points. That puts my current total at 1288. *eyelid twitches* Good thing I don’t have OCD or else I’d spend the rest of today searching for a two point code to even things out. *random leg muscles spasm uncontrollably* No sir, that final digit being anything but a 5 or 0 has no affect on my whatsoever. *cleans desk for the 40th times today*

[thanks to everyone who sent these in!]

At 1:00 pm EST on Wednesday, April 13, the first 100,000 people to sign up will get free Seattle’s Best coffee. This freebie is in conjunction with a 24-hour improv comedy show and what the what?! Why wasn’t I invited to this? Sure, they got professionals from Second City, but making jokes and freebies are my wheelhouse. I’m easily one of the top 10 funniest American male freebie blogger in his late 20s. It’s an accomplishment I’ve stumbled ass backwards into worked hard for.

[thanks Deal Seeking Mom!]

This years free Ben & Jerry’s Cone Day is Tuesday, April 12, from 12:00pm-8:00pm. The weather forecast says this week is going to be gorgeous and warm, so I hope my local establishment is liberal on their dress code. There are only so many hours in the day and I need to maximize my tanning by wearing only a speedo as much as possible.

This event is pretty much what it sounds like. Walk into your nearest Ben & Jerry’s tomorrow and get a free ice cream cone.

[thanks My Frugal Adventures and everyone who sent this in!]

If you’re like me and huddle around your computer during dinner: (A) We’re some major losers, aren’t we? and (B) Make sure you snag a free Duck Tape sheet on Facebook at 6:00pm EST. I don’t even know what this is, but it looks like the perfect size to fit on a sibling’s faces. Yes, most of my friends are off getting married and having kids while I’m playing pranks on my family. Don’t let me ever say I was born in the wrong generation.

I’ll post a reminder on HIF’s Facebook at 5:55. On a related note, we almost have 50,000 Hiffers there, which is … cool?

I love when companies roll out all their freebies on one day because it makes my job so much easier. CVS is now offering a coupon for free full size Essence of Beauty through their Facebook page. I just hope they hurray up and release a few more so I can soon go outside and enjoy this 80 degree weather. Then I can start spending time on more important things like whether or not I want tan lines this year.

[thanks Hip 2 Save!]