Freebies and free stuff

EDIT: Hiffed!

There’s no way my desk can support free Avery sticky notes. There’s already 300 pounds worth of sticky notes scattered in front of me. I’m told some people only use one or two notes at a time to keep track of small tasks at hand, but I can’t comprehend that method.

I scream, you scream, we all scream AHH, IS THAT A SNAKE!? Oh, no, it’s just a free Haagen-Dazs ice cream offer. At participating locations today, from 4-8pm, we can all get a free ice cream cone. That’s much better than a snake.

EDIT: We Hiffed it.

You have to take a silly survey on your breakfast habits to get this free Martha Stewart Living magazine subscription. At the end, they ask you to review your four favorite breakfast foods, so here’s a little tip: just BS. If you’re putting any thought into it, you’re working too hard. Each of the “reviews” has to be 25 words in length, so I usually put something like:

I love Special K cereal because it’s healthy and tasty and easy to make. Plus I get to use the fancy china from my wedding because breakfast is such a special occasion to me!

Boom, 34 words, it makes no sense, and it only took 20 seconds to write!

It’s a well known fact that these free Power Pill Extreme Energy pills are filled with 100% pure cut pixie stick powder.¹ If that doesn’t give you a little pick-me-up, then you’re probably a robot and should avoid further human contact lest you accidentally crush a loved one during a hug.

I know this site looks a little suspect, but their Facebook page is filled with photos of the product, company swag, and cars they’re driving around the country. If there’s one common trait amongst spammers, it’s that they’re too lazy to put that much detail into a fake freebie. Well, plus they’re all a word that rhymes with glassmole.

1. By which I mean I completely made that fact up. [↩]

You can print a coupon on Facebook for a free Market Fresh Grilled Chicken & Pecan Salad sandwich with and 22 oz. Pepsi purchase. It doesn’t expire until May 15 either, so you don’t have to cancel your lunch plans for today. That’s great news for my 1:00 business lunch with my dogs.

EDIT: Is it May 10 anymore? Nope.

Starting on Tuesday, May 10, there will be 100,000 free Swiffer 360 Dusters Starter kits given away on Facebook. They’re splitting this giveaway over four weeks, so 25,000 will be doled out tomorrow and the rest should follow each … following Tuesday? At least I hope so. There are tons of freebies on Monday and come Friday, I’m thrilled to find a coupon. The more companies spread things out, the easier my life is. And I think we can all agree that making my life easier is the main goal here.

I’ll post an update on HIF’s Facebook and Twitter once this offer goes live.

EDIT: They’ve updated this to be a $1 coupon for many people.

The free Garnier shampoo and conditioner offer is back. Their confirmation message said they’d email me if the freebie was delayed for some reason. Has anybody ever received one of those emails? What do they say? “Sorry for not sending you something for free fast enough. But can you seriously complain?”

[thanks Kyle!]

You can get free Energizer nail polish from ShopText by texting SUMMER to 467467. We’ve written about them before, but long story short they’re a legit company that’s trying to make freebies via text messages more popular.

Wow, that was pretty short.

Did you know you can say “BAM” without a free Emeril’s Essence seasoning packet? I just found out! Bam. BAM!

*BAM!*

Ow, my brother just hit me.

Free Comic Book Day is back! It’s on Saturday (May 7th) and you’ll be able to get a free comic book at participating locations.

I harshly learned on a recent dates that comic books don’t count towards how many books I’ve read over the past year. Suffice to say there wasn’t a second date.