Freebies and free stuff

Today is National Iced Tea Day, which is something that shouldn’t exist, but whatever. To celebrate, there was a free bottle of Lipton Iced Tea offer on Facebook, but the signup form keeps crashing. So what now? Well, luckily you’re a Hiffer and can go straight to the coupon printing page!

I love occasionally subverting freebies – it’s the only time I get to feel like a rebel. I even have a leather jacket and motorcycle for the occasion. Though getting the bike into my living room is a real pain.

If you have an Adidas Outlet store nearby, bring this coupon in before June 14 to get a free pack of tees, low rise briefs, or boxer briefs. It’s been a while since we’ve had a good underwear freebie, which is a sentence I never thought I’d ever type.

The free TinyPrints offer that some of you found on their Facebook page has been extended to all members. Now through June 13, you can get a free TinyPrints Father’s Day card by using code FREEFD. This offer is for a free card and free shipping to yourself and the best part is that, contrary to their name, the print on the cards is large and of high quality. I can finally stop making home made cards with crayons now.

I don’t know how the freebie elves are gonna fill our bathtubs with towels, but this free Tub O’ Towels offer promises they will. I’ve always wanted to swim around in a pile of money. I guess a pile of towels is close enough.

You can bank 5 free Disney Movie Rewards points by adding code Y7ZE67KL2G to your account. If you’re having trouble remembering the code, use one of these handy mnemonic device:

Yes, 7 Zimbabweans Exported 67 Kitten Leotards 2 George.

Your 7 Zebras Eat 67 Kebabs Like 2 Giraffes.

YARG! 7 Zombies Evaded 67 Knightly Longshoreman. 2 Guatemala!

I made like 50 of these.

There’s another Facebook offer in the form of free Shield Immunity Defense Booster. I’m going to be severely disappointed if this isn’t an actual shield that I can swallow.

TeenFreeway is giving away free Creme for Beach Beautiful Legs on Facebook, which sounds kind of presumptuous. What makes them think my legs aren’t already beach beautiful? They’re toned, muscular, and I even painted a cool lightning bolt down the side of them for added allure.

After you submit the form, you’ll see a link for “more free stuff” or something like that. Don’t bother. Most of the stuff on that page is junk and the few offers that are legit have already been posted here on HIF.

I think the search function is broken. It says I haven’t posted any free Prilosec OTC in over a year. That can’t be right. This stuff is available like every other month. Either a computer system with no sentiency somehow developed an ulterior motive, part of which includes lying to us, or I’m not doing my job.

I think we all know which is the most logical explanation here.

I was going to make fun of this free Trilipiderm moisture creme for having a stupid name, but then I saw they’re sending us a “handful of Trilipiderm sample packets right away.” Heck yeah. No joke – I love it when companies take a blase approach to freebies. This isn’t serious business we’re talking about here. The idea of some intern at Trilipiderm HQ mindlessly stuffing envelopes with however many samples he picks up makes me smile.

EDIT: They have run out of freebies.

I’ve always used free Parent’s Choice baby wipes so that I’m reminded not to let the child decide. Trust me, handing the choice over to a baby is a decision that will haunt you for the rest of your days.