Freebies and free stuff

I have a confession to make. I’m not 100% incompetent when it comes to freebies. I know I’ve missed a bit over the past few weeks and I HATE to make excuses, but long story short I’ve got cancer and am in the middle of chemotherapy.

I debated announcing this for a while. One of the few ways I’m oldschool is how I don’t like broadcasting my problems to the world. The goofy, semi-moronic character named Goob you see on HIF is the same persona I carry on in my daily life. Just ask any of my ex-girlfriends.

But the fact of the matter is there are days where the chemo kicks my ass. I’ve never been so tired in my life and this is coming from a guy who used to nap at least twice a day in college. Knock on wood, this will all pass soon, but in the mean time I’m going to keep missing the occasional freebie.

I ultimately decided to publish this because I wanted to say thank you. I wouldn’t be in a relatively rocking position if it weren’t for y’all. I don’t know how many people know this, but HIF is my job. It went from a joke site to paying for an occasional six-pack to a full time, get up and be at my desk by 8am every day job. Okay, 10am. And I love it! I’m my own boss, I can work from anywhere, all successes (or failures!) are mine and I get to fly by the seat of my pants in so many areas. Trust me, I knew nothing of server maintenance or business tax law or negotiating ad rates 24 months ago.

And with this newfound success, I bought health insurance.

So many of my friends and family are still out of work three years running. They don’t have a steady income, let alone health coverage. And the only reason I do is because of each and every one of you.

Had so many of you not emailed, tweeted, liked, shared, stumbled, telephoned, carrier pigeoned, and however else you spread the word about HIF, then this site wouldn’t still exist. I can’t even begin to fathom how harder that would have made my life now.

So thank you. Even if all you do is scan the page once of twice a week, that’s one or two more pageviews that ultimately led to me being able to take care of myself and put me in a position of optimism. Thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my fraking heart, thank you.

EDIT: This is no longer available.

Men and women alike can get a free Depends sample pack. If you’ve requested this in the past, you might get an error message saying only one freebie per address. But if you change your e-mail address …

Stop in today for some free McAlister’s tea with no coupon or purchase necessary. If only all in-store freebies were this easy.

Mmm, there’s nothing quite like free Mary Kay Eau de Toilette fragrances. That includes toilet water. Trust me on that one.

[thanks to Lizette for posting this to HIF's Facebook page.]

EDIT: Okay, this is exterior stain. For…exterior…staining?

At least I think this free Benjamin Moore Arborcoat deck paint is meant for the deck. Maybe they painted those chairs in the image. Or possible the trees. As you can guess, I’m not much of a decorator. The last thing I painted were Easter eggs when I was 10 and that wasn’t a very happy memory. Turns out they were decorative crystal eggs.

[thanks to Andrew for posting this to HIF's Facebook page.]

I’m fairly sure this free Garnier Fructis Anti-Dandruff shampoo link is new, but who knows. I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but keeping track of all the Garnier freebies released over the past few months is harder than doing my taxes.

Also, what the heck is a gift horse? I’ve never had the opportunity to look one in the mouth or anywhere else for that matter. Every horse I’ve ever encountered has been gift-less and typically expected an apple from me. Wait … am I the gift horse?!

In order to get this free L’Oreal EverSleek Intense Hair care product, log into your account (or make one, duh), then click on “special offers” (it’s near the top), and finally click “get sample packette.” See, you know it’s gonna be fancy, because they spell it “packette.” The only way I’ll be able to use this is if I’m also wearing a top hat and monocle.

EDIT: This is now dead.

There’s a new free Working Mother magazine subscription available from ValueMags, whose freebies tend to die quickly. Once on the confirmation page, you might see links to more offers. I had Bridal Guide, Islands, and Wood Magazine, among others. Wood magazine wold be infinitely more interesting if each issue was hand carved from an old pirate ship.

Like them on Facebook and get a coupon for free Purina Pro Plan cat food.

They want permission to post on your wall, which is cute. Sure, no worries, please start flooding my wall with cat food posts. There’s no way my friends will see that as odd and question what in the world is wrong with me. Or how about no. Just follow these instructions on tidying up your Facebook account after you sign up and things will be gravy.

EDIT: The samples are gone, they’re down to coupons now.

AllYou is offering free Nivea Touch of Cashmere body wash. I’m sending mine back unless they make good on their promise. This wash better feel like a $300 sweater.

Oh, who am I kidding? I wear sweatshirts and pants more often than not. They’re the perfect combo for any event life throws your way – work, first dates, weddings, you name it. Show up in your Sunday (early morning’s) Best and you’re certain to be the center of attention.