Freebies and free stuff

EDIT: This is dead barely two hours after I posted it. That’s about par for the course lately.

Sam’s Club is offering free Pro-Force cleaning samples and … I don’t care. The past few days have been a mishmash of screw ups, breaking things, losing crazy important things, bad news, and overall craptitude. I’m out of here to go buy some wine.

Roll over either bottle and click the “get a sample” button. You’ll need a 9-digit Sam’s Club membership ID number and, as usual, any random numbers will work.

EDIT: Cool, this died within minutes. What else is effing new?

Total Beauty is handing out free Wella Brilliance Minis sample kits and I don’t know what any of that means. I’m guessing from the logo it’s some hair care products or … could those wavy lines represent bacon? I’m really hoping for a kit of bacon now.

You can create an account here, but I’m guessing Total Beauty has given out freebies before because I already had an account.

I’m sure that I could just use my cat’s birthday as a baby’s birthday to get this free Simply Right baby formula sample. Then again, I don’t think that furry-lil’-tons-o-fun is light enough to be called a baby anymore…

How many times have you cursed your last name because it sounds so similar to “runny nose?” Well you won’t today! The first 5,000 people who qualify (see the explanation below) and sign up get a coupon for free Robitussin. Of course I bet a lot of people have already signed up with fake names, but in case they haven’t…

If your last name is or sounds like one of the cold and flu symptoms we treat – like how “Fleming” sounds like “phlegm”- you could win free Robitussin®. Eligible symptoms include cough, cold, phlegm, mucus, fever, sneeze, sneezy, sneezing, headache, congestion, congest, congested, stuffy nose, runny nose, itchy eyes, watery eyes, or sore throat.

I feel like I’ve met a lot of people over the years. I’m almost disappointed I haven’t run into a Ms. Itchayize.

EDIT: 25,000 goes fast nowadays…

AllYou is giving away 25,000 coupons for a free THiNQ all-natural energy drink sample.

In totally unrelated news, despite how frequently I’m told my call is important, I’m pretty sure the company I’ve been trying to get in touch with for the past three hours hates customers. Not just me, but any potential customer in existence.

EDIT: They’ve run out of DVDs.

I’d say that I signed up to get this free African conservation DVD because I want the real wildlife experience, but I that would be a lie. Every morning I get that when I wake up with my fat cat on my chest, staring me in the face, waiting for me to get him some more food…

So back in August, Lollapalooza was giving away this free Spin magazine subscription. It makes me wonder how Spin magazine can even stay in print, seeing every other month there’s a different free subscription offer from them…

EDIT: They ran out of sample? I don’t know. This is getting ridiculous.

Before I got married, all I had at my sink was a bar of deodorant, a comb, and some aftershave. Body products? Pfft. Didn’t need ‘em.

So now, almost 5 years later, I can’t find my sink with everything around it. Maybe I should just fill out this survey and get these free Nectar Skincare sample just to try to compete and see if the wife recognizes anything has changed…

EDIT: She’s down for the count!

The free Aveeno Living Color shampoo and conditioner from last week is back. I don’t understand why companies stagger their giveaways like this. It creates more unnecessary work for me! The only excuse I’d accept is if they just happened to find a few thousand samples under the couch cushions this morning. And if that’s the case, I’d really like to see this couch.

EDIT: They more than tripled the amount of freebies originally scheduled to be given away, but unfortunately they’re now out.

So if you head to their Facebook page, you can click on the “Free Fair Trade Tea” tab on the side of the page for some free Numi tea. Seeing I’ve already had 5 cups of tea today, another couldn’t hurt, right?