Freebies and free stuff

If you’re one of those people who can make it down the cereal aisle without being overwhelmed by the number of choices then (A) I believe you’re an alien and (B) you’ll love this free Lovely Skin sample offer. You get to choose from 14 different freebies and … yep, that sound you just heard was my brain freezing with indecisiveness.

EDIT: Don’t bother, this died while I was typing up the post. I’m on top of my game today!

This coupon for free Suave Keratin Infusion shampoo has been out on Facebook for a few hours (oops) and is only available to the first 50,000 people (double oops). I guess we’re all cool with infusing our hair with keratin? I miss the good ole’ days when the only thing we put in our hair was gum, mud, or peanut butter. It was an exceptionally successful day when all three were used.

It’s weird enough when I sign up for feminine freebies like these free Stayfree Ultra Thin Regular with Wings. But what am I supposed to do when they ask questions such as “Which of the following is your primary form of feminine protection?” or “The following best describes your use of pads…” That last question unfortunately didn’t include an answer of “I set them on my dog’s head and see how long she lets it stay.”

EDIT: Hey, it’s dead again!

Hey, it’s back!

Text GLAMBODY to 467467 to get a free Clean & Clear body wash sample. This is a ShopText offer, so you’ll get a reply text asking to either create an account or confirm your address. While you’re at it, send me a text. I need something to actually read while I look at my phone in public in an effort to avoid talking to people.

It’s a new year, which means it’s a new quarter, which means it’s time for another free P&G Everyday Sampler pack, which means we’re all about to get a bunch of freebies and coupons, which means we won’t have to spend as much money the next time we’re at the store, which means everybody should have a little extra cash to buy me a birthday gift next month, which means no excuses!

I was able to request seven freebies and 18 coupons.

[thanks to everybody who sent this in!]

EDIT: The good news is this laster longer than I predicted. The bad news is it’s now dead.

Copy and paste this link to receive free Garnier Fructis Color Shield shampoo and conditioner. If you signed up for this in October, you’ll want to use a new email address.

http://www.startsampling.com/sm/shieldcolor102000/

This will probably die within 20 minutes. Don’t shoot the messenger. Actually, try not to shoot anybody while you’re at it.

EDIT: Looks like this offer is over.

Text GLAMBODY to 467467 to get a free Clean & Clear body wash sample. This is a ShopText offer, so you’ll get a reply text asking to either create an account or confirming your address then the freebie will show up in your mailbox within a few weeks. No, not literally. Your mailcarrier will deliver it. ShopText hasn’t developing instant teleportation technology.

Yet.

EDIT: Looks like all samples have been given away. I guess there are some smart people out there.

You have to take a 5-question survey in order to get a free Axe Anarchy body spray sample. The countdown clock above makes it nice and stressful.

The quiz is actually a little tough. Unless you get all 5 questions correct, you won’t be able to get the freebie. To make it more difficult, the questions rotate and you’re not informed which ones you missed, meaning this freebie was way too hard for me so I gave up. As you can see, I have a very strong work ethic desire to go play video games. Feel free to conspire in the comments and figure out the correct answers though.

I’m late for an appointment, but here’s a Facebook offer for free Eucerin Itch-Relief Treatment. You have to watch a video and then fill out the form. It took about 30 seconds for the video to start playing for me, so don’t assume it’s not working if it doesn’t start immediately.

EDIT: This is no longer available.

I get a cold and then free tea and free Puffs facial tissues are released? Quick, what affliction is cured by a million dollars?

This will only be offered to the first 15,000 people to sign up, so get moving!