Freebies and free stuff

The “total effects” in this free Olay Total Effects body wash from Walmart makes me think of “special effects” for some reason. I’m going to be disappointed if my body isn’t covered in a cool CGI video while I’m using it.

The free Burt’s Bees toothpaste offer is back. I’m running out the door, which is why posts are coming fast and furious this morning. The only downfall is that all the jokes in them were written beforehand, whereas this has not a one. But now, this is the length of an average post, so my job is done. Hooray deception!

EDIT: They’ve removed the member ID requirement, so anybody can get this.

You have to have a Costco Member ID in order to get this free Lever 2000 soap, so that kind of stinks. The membership part, not the soap. I don’t know why somebody would want smelly soap.

Do we really need the three dimensional qualifier in the name of free Crest 3D White Regimen? Isn’t every freebie we get in the mail 3D? I understand Avatar was a monetary bonanza, but that doesn’t mean you have to slap 3D on the title of everything!

That is, unless this whitening product will enable me to shoot holograms out of my mouth!

If you missed out in the Pantene offer this morning, then be sure to try your luck with this free Aveeno Nourish+ shampoo offer. They gave away a ton of these back in April ‘09, so if you signed up for any of them, you’ll need to use a new e-mail address this time around.

[thanks Kate]

EDIT: They’re out of samples now.

If a free full-sized bottle of Pantene shampoo sounds good to you, then I’d ask how you can hear shampoo. Haha, get it? Shampoo doesn’t make a sound!

And with that horrendous joke, the days freebies begin.

[thanks Free Sample Freak]

There are three different free Kotex sample packs that you can choose from.

Sample Pack 1

• 2 Regular Maxi Pads
• 2 fresh and dry long liners

Sample pack 2

• 1 Super Tampon
• 2 Regular Tampons
• 2 fresh and dry long liners

Sample pack 3

• 2 Ultra Thin Pads with wings
• 2 fresh and dry long liners

After you sign up for your freebie, you can also take the panty challenge. It’s a program to give people a $4 voucher for a free pair of panties if they purchase a Kotex product and are then unhappy with it after seven days.

I gotta admit, I never thought taking a panty challenge would ever fall under my job description.

[thanks Freebies 4 Mom]

Here’s a new link for a free Poise sample kit, which includes:

• 1 Poise Liner
• 1 Poise Long Liner
• 1 Poise Ultra Thin Pad
• Money Saving Coupon

WHOA! A money saving coupon? Heck yeah! Those are way better than those tricky money costing coupons. Just last week I bought some milk and bread and the final bill was $23 after my coupons. I really don’t know why I keep using them…

If for some reason the first link isn’t working, here’s a backup. The Poise Kit can be found in the upper right on this page.

EDIT #2: This freebie is dead, however you can get a $2 off coupon.

Is this this free Crest plus Scope toothpaste the first ever Myspace-only freebie? I believe so. Although, I haven’t the slightest idea why. Talk about a dying website. Watch me next find a freebie through Friendster.

Luckily, I remembered about the Hey, It’s Free Myspace account. Thank goodness your account isn’t deleted after so many days of inactivity, because otherwise I’d have some stinky breath. Well, not really. I brushed my teeth this morning. You get the general idea. *waves hand around*

EDIT: This is no longer available.

As if on command, this free Fekkai hair care from Walmart shows up tonight after my earlier quip about my messy hair. *cue spooky sounds, flashing lights, and a zoom in of Goob’s freaked out face*