Hey, It’s Free!

EDIT: Aww man, we don’t get to smell like Jennifer Lopez anymore

Is anybody else confused by this free Jennifer Lopez Live Platinum perfume? Call me demanding, but when a singer releases a product with the words “live” and “platinum” in the title, I’m going to assume it’s a CD full of music. I know, what a crazy expectation for me to have, huh?

Who knows, maybe it’s a scratch and sniff CD that you’re supposed to rub all over you. That’d be kinda cool, however you’d look a little insane if somebody caught you in the act of freshening up.

I swear I’m losing my mind. I was talking to a friend and mentioned how I’d posted this free Alterna shampoo earlier this morning. He claimed he had no idea what I was talking about and thus ensued a 30 minute argument. Guess who lost that one.

I guess the real focus should be why two dudes were talking about shampoo. Do me a favor and forget I mentioned it.

[via the forums]

EDIT: This is no longer available.

It took a mere 56 hours without high-speed Internet to turn me from an upstanding citizen to being curled in the fetal position under the covers. I’m still not even sure it’s back. Is this a dream? I’m hallucinating, aren’t I? I knew it was too good to find another Schick razor freebie. Yesterday Adam posted a Titanium freebie (which I made a freebie review of last year) and now I’ve found a free Schick Intuition razor.

Does this mean I have to shave my legs now? I’m not saying I can’t pull it off, but I’d rather not try.

I don’t really shave often, seeing I’ve got a desk job with a fairly casual dress code, but when I do, I think I only change my razor whenever a new freebee pops up. Especially with the fact that there are 5 and 4 blade razors now. So why buy something when I can get a new one for free every two to three months?

And here comes another one with this free Schick Quattro Titanium razor. Now, I’ll just have to start looking again in another 2-3 months… Of course, why bother then, seeing it’ll be winter then. Maybe I should just grow a beard and not have to worry about it…

[via the forums]

These free Always Infinity products aren’t even for sale yet, but Proctor & Gamble are sending out a bunch of these ahead of time. I plan on using mine as an impromptu hat.

[via the forums]

You don’t need to have a baby to get some baby shampoo anymore. Its sorta like when you get those special mailings in the brown paper envelopes? Maybe I’m the only one who gets those?

Or, if not, I wonder if this free sample of Johnson & Johnson’s Baby Shampoo comes in an envelope like that or if my mail person will stare at me and want to see baby pictures. I should just show them a picture of one of my cats then.

[via the forums]

EDIT: Cause Of Death - Overrun by cavities.

What a perfect freebie to post right after the free jelly beans. It’s almost as if Wal Mart knew that freebie fans from coast to coast would need to stave off the onrush of cavities with some free Crest Whitening Expressions toothpaste.

EDIT: No longer available!

If you don’t have long hair, I’m not sure what you’ll do with a free Redken comb. Maybe you could take it out west and sift for huge chunks of gold. Or perhaps you could wrap some thin paper around it and start your own garage harmonica band. What I’m trying to say is no matter how you earn millions with it, be sure you send me a royalty check.

[via Julie]

edit: You were just a hair short of getting this freebie on time. Get it?! See, …

This free John Frieda shampoo made me realize my hair volume is pretty low. Heck, it’s muted. Does that even make sense? No? DOES IT MAKE SENSE IF I YELL?

Oh man, see what I did there? I “yelled” it by typing in all caps. Like I turned up the “volume.” Get it? Cause we were talking about hair volume and then I wittily started talking about sound volume. You know, cause hair volume is in relation to the amount of space the hair occupies while sound volume correlates to the amplitude of a sound wave. It’s a play on words; a pun if you will. But the two definitions are actually closely related, because both volumes increase as the space occupied or amplitude increases. I guess that’s why volume is used for both definitions. You could actually argue that they’re one in same and that…

Hahaha, bad jokes plus excruciating deconstruction of said jokes equal hilarity. Just ask my friends and family, it’s a favorite pastime of mine.

EDIT: As romanslady put it in the comments, this freebie is all “wiped out.”

Perhaps the Freebie Gods have not enjoyed my jokes recently and as such they’ve killed all the freebies I’ve posted as punishment. Fine, I can take a hint. I’ll just shut up and mention that Wal Mart is giving away free Cottonelle moist wipes for who the heck knows how long.

[via ButterflyKyss]

EDIT: Screw it, I’m taking off and starting the effing weekend early. Apparently I did something to piss off the Freebie Gods.

Apparently this free Secret Clinical Strength deodorant is stronger than most deodorant, as signaled by the “clinical strength” term. Which leads me to ask: why is everybody who smells at a clinic? What clinic is this? How is it that only smelly people end up there? Is there an underground network that only allow in people with bad BO?

Forget algebra, these are the kind of things they need to be teaching in school.

[via Julie]

EDIT: Their supplies have been “exhausted.”

As I write this, there are 31,800 free Neutrogena pink grapefruit acne scrubs samples left for people like you and me. How do I know? Because Neutrogena has a handy counter on their sample page that tracks how many freebies are left. And do you know what I think about that?

IT’S AWESOME! Companies, lend me your ear, because I want to tell you how amazingly awesome this seemingly small development is. Do you know how frustrating it is for freebie fans when we see “limited supplies only” on your site? We haven’t the slightest idea if it’s going to come and yet we still fork over our name and address in the hopes that you’ve got a sample or two lying around for us. So freebie counters are a Godsend to us. If you have one on your site, I’ll even overlook your product’s silly name when I post it here on HIF.

Long story short, this better be a trend that companies start to adopt.

[via Cdolesh]

I don’t know how much longer I’m going to last, folks. I’ve always been into the Olympics, but this year I’m going all out. You know that AT&T commercial with the Michael Phelps fangirl? Yeah, that’s me right now. My average blood pressure over the past week has been 50 gazillion bpm. Some might say that’s unhealthy, but to them I say U-S-A! U-S-A! U- *kerplunk*

Sorry, I just passed out again. Can I get a free defibrillator anywhere? No? Fine, I’ll just settle for this free Stetson cologne and at least know I’ll smell good for whoever finds me passed out in front of the TV.

[via Mommy Saves Big]

EDIT: Deadinated

This free Gillette shampoo is marketed as being made for men, which is about darn time. I’m tired of my hair smelling like apples and cumquats. Why must every girly shampoo smell like a fruit?

But now I’m getting confused. The marketing for this freebie talks about getting rid of dirt and grim. Is this supposed to be used to wash my hair or an engine block? Maybe both?

[via Froggie]

Not only can you get a free Huge Boss fragrance sample, but you can send a sample to your friend as well. In fact, maybe you’ll want to send a sample to your “friend” next door whom you’ve never spoken to. Then when your sample comes in the mail, you might stroll over and take out the sample you sent to your friend.

Of course, I’m pretty sure that’s breaking a few federal laws, so you probably won’t want to do that. But hey, it’s still an idea for those of you who like to live on the edge!

[via the forums]