Freebies and free stuff

Holy. Crap. A fifth in-store freebie for tomorrow? Am I being punk’d? Sure, Toys Backwards-R Us is hosting a free Geoffrey’s Birthday Party this Saturday, September 26, from 12-3 pm. There will be a birthday parade, activities and free giveaways. But this just doesn’t seem right. Five in-store freebies on the same day has never happened before and frankly, I’m scared. I’m pretty sure this was one of the ancient Mayans predictions of the impending Armageddon.

Umm…folks, we’ve got a problem here. The very first sentence on the site for this free Safety Around Dogs video states “Children and dogs go together like peanut butter and jelly.” I hate to ask, but I think somebody needs to. Who’s eating children and dog sandwiches? Isn’t this sort of, maybe, potentially a crime and worth looking into? Why are we being so nonchalant about our nations dwindling children and dog population? Am I the only person worried here?

The video is designed for children in grades K-6 and is offered to teachers, librarians, youth group leaders, animal control officers, animal shelters, veterinarians and community and civic leaders. In order to get it, simply e-mail orderdesk@akc.org and include your name, school or affiliation (for example, the Boys and Girls Club), mailing address and daytime phone.

October is Safety Month, so let’s give kids power tools to build a fire truck at the next free Lowe’s Build & Grow Clinic! Whatever could go wrong with that?!

I kid, of course. Every Hiffer that’s written in about these free clinics have said their children had a great time and that they’re well supervised. As usual, the clinic is from 10-11am this Saturday and you’ll need to register online ahead of time.

[via the freebie calendar]

I act big and tough, but anybody who gets this free youth hunting license from Meijer could probably kick my butt. I one time accidentally killed a fish and spent months in therapy. If I was ever transported back in time to a hunter-gatherer society, I’d last approximately 8.4 seconds before being eaten by a bear.

The coupon is valid until September 26 and says there’s a maximum value of $15, which is…good? Bad? I have no idea how much hunting licenses cost and a Google search produced a picture of a dead moose, which brought on the waterworks. Uh-oh, here they come again just thinking about it. I need to get away from my laptop before it gets wet!

Am I the only adult who will listen to these seven free children’s audio books while driving around thanks in part to the British voice they’re being read in? You could hire a British speaker to read the phone book and I’d not only want to listen, but feel as if I should wear a tuxedo in keeping with the elegance of the occasion.

The stories are a bit on the short side, but they might be useful for driving around town and doing errands.

If you join the Luvs Network, you’ll be sent a free $5 Luvs coupon in the mail. There’s also a Welcome Kit that you can download, which has coloring pages for your child, but I find baby drawings to be a bit lacking. They tend to stare blankly at the page for way too long and then they opt for drooling on the page rather than using any crayons. Before you know it, they’re trying to eat the darn thing and start crying when they realize it tastes horrible. Well what did they expect?! Everybody knows you can’t eat paper without a little salt and pepper.

I have absolutely no idea what these free Snikiddy Snacks are, but you and I can try them out for ourselves by putting babybix sample in the comment form and signing up.

One of their sign-up questions had an option of “Media/blog/internet” and that got me thinking about how on some sites there’s an option to type in where you came from. What’s the best guess for number of times “heyitsfree.net” has been written in over the years? Heck, how many free samples have people gotten total via HIF ever since I first started making bad jokes over three and a half years ago? Are we close to a million yet? We have to be.

In other words, that’s awesome.

[via BabyBix]

Similar to the free Lowe’s workshops we’ve posted many time, there’s a free Home Depot kids workshop tomorrow (Saturday, September 5) where they’ll be making a … free bean bag toss?

Okay, usually they make a toy or something they can use, like a bird feeder, but this bean bag toss looks a little weak. Isn’t it just a board with a hole in it? Heck, I make those all the time! Granted, I’m usually trying to make something else entirely, but that’s beside the point.

The workshop is available to kids 5-12 and runs from 9am-noon. Call your local store to reserve a space.

[via the freebie calendar]

While at the beach this summer, I could have used this free Ready to Read bookmark. After finishing a chapter, I wanted to go take a dip in the ocean but didn’t have a bookmark. I started to dog ear the page, but then came up the ingenious plan to make a bookmark! I grabbed a handful of sand, mashed it together tightly, and stuck it in the book.

Yeah, that didn’t work.

You’ll want to click “Online Order Form” at the bottom of the page and then simply enter your info. There are some extra fields on the form that aren’t necessary, so don’t fret.

Aw man, this free Beech-Nut Starter Kit is for babies, not literal beach crazed fans as the name suggests. How would a beach starter kit even work? They send you an envelope full of sand and a little umbrella from cocktail drinks?

This freebie includes coupons for Beech-Nut products as well as a newsletter with “helpful advice.” I can dole out advice as well, such as be prepared for babies to pee on you. I’ve got dozens of younger siblings¹ and they just love to surprise unsuspecting diaper changers.

1. number may be exaggerated [↩]

This free ADT Child Safety Kit comes with the following items:

• Cool fingerprint kit (their words, not mine)
• Magnet
• Reflective sticker for kids to wear in the dark
• And games

Talk about making safety fun! The only safety talks I got as a kid centered around not getting into cars with strangers and how to avoid ingesting foreign objects. It would have helped had my parents threw in a discussion about rusty nails as well, but I guess they had more important things on their mind. It’s cool though, I actually enjoyed all of the hospital visits I had over the years!

Call me crazy, but I don’t think building a toy bus at the next free Lowe’s Build & Grow Clinic this Saturday at 10am is going to get kids excited about going back to school. As a kid, the last thing I wanted to think about in the waning days of summer was school. I didn’t even want to think about school during school either, but that’s a whole separate idea. Or debate. Or story. I’m not sure which word to use, I didn’t learn much in school.

[via the freebie calendar]

The U.S. State Department is giving away free Diplomatic History videos and that sound you just heard was me screaming in excitement. Folks, I’m a history and international relations nerd, there’s just no way to hide it. I’m on vacation and what am I reading for pleasure? The Guns of August, a 550 page tome about the events leading up to and the first month of World War I. You know, just a little light reading about death and destruction.

In fact, it’s the type of books I read to my siblings for bedtime stories. I’m starting to understand why they have so many nightmares now…

It’s technically not Monday anymore, but I’m still awake (why?!) and finishing up this week’s school supply deals. As always, I probably missed a few, so if you know of any good sales or discounts going on, chime away in the comments.

$0.01 – $0.20 Items
$0.01 – Spiral one-subject notebooks, 70 sheet (limit 3)
$0.05 – 12″ ruler (limit 3)
$0.10 – Dixon #2 pencils, 10 pack (limit 3)
$0.20 – Crayola crayons, 24 pack (limit 3)

Staples has a $5/$50 coupon in their weekly ad, so make sure to pick up a copy if you’re going to do some heavy shopping.

$0.00 Items!
Casio handheld label maker, free after $15 rebate (limit 1)
Staples Slim-line pencil sharpener, free after $10 rebate (limit 1)
Handy-lines dry-erase makers, 3 pack and free after $3.99 rebate (limit 1)
Norton Internet Security 2009, free after $40 & $20 rebates

$0.01 Items!
Staples wire-bound notebooks, 70 sheet (limit 6)

$0.00 Items!
Free Tug backpacks with a $10 puchase (limit 2)
Also, if you buy the Crayola Conical Tip Markers for $1.99, you can get a free pack of 24 Crayola crayons.

$0.01 – $0.49 Items
$0.05 – Office Depot School Grade portfolios (limit 5)
$0.25 – Scissors, 2 pack (limit 3)
$0.40 – Office Depot acrylic ruler
$0.49 – Scholastic Glue Stick

$0.50 – $0.99 Items
$0.50 – Wilson Jones binders (limit 5)
$0.75 – Paper Mate pink pearl erasers, 3 pack
$0.99 – Office Depot Value notebook paper, 150 pack
$0.99 – Office Depot Value mechanical pencils, 6 pack

EDIT: I mistakenly uploaded the wrong Sharpie coupon for the Office Max deal. The proper coupon is now uploaded and is available until August 8! Thanks to Sara and everybody in the comments for pointing out the mistake.

It turns out that a decent number of new visitors come to HIF in search of “free school supplies” every day. That’s great until you realize that we don’t have that many free school supplies here. In fact, the post that seems to attract the most attention is almost three years old, which of course make it invalid.

So from now until school starts, I’ll try and post weekly school supply deals each week! Also, note that Office Max, Staples, and Office Depot all price match competitor ads. If you happen to have all three in close vicinity, you could probably create some even better deals.

OfficeMax has some great deals available, including the following:

$0.01 Items!
2-Pocket Basic or Prong Folders (limit 6)
12″ Wood Rule (limit 3)
*NEW* All Sharpie and Sharpie Accent singesl w/ coupon (limit 3)

$0.10 Items
OfficeMax #2 Pencils, 12-pack (limit 3)
OfficeMax Filler Paper (limit 3)

$0.50 Item
Composition Book (limit 6)

Staples has the following freebies available this week:

$0.01 Items!
Staples filler paper, 120 sheets (limit 5) (Mon-Wed only!)

$0.75 Item
Accel 1-subject notebook, 100 sheets (limit 3)

$1.00 Items
Foohy Petz assorted monkey head cap erasers, 10 pack (limit 2)
Staples Delta Elite retractable gel pens, 2 pack (limit 2)
Westcott 7″ bent handle scissors (limit 2)
Zebra Z-Grip retractable ballpoint pens, 7 pack (limit 2)
Staples clear glue sticks, 4 pack (limit 2)
Paper Mate Sharpwriter mechanical pencils, 5 pack (limit 2)
Staples photo glossy paper, 60 pack (limit 2) Retail is $9.99 with $8.99 easy rebate.
RoseArt washable watercolors, 8 pack (limit 2)
Staples 3-hole punch (limit 2)

They also have quite a few $2 items, including white out, scotch tape, and more. I’m not sure if they’re enough of a deal or not to include.

Also, note that they have a $10 Staples Gift Card offer when you spend $50. If you have a larger purchase to make this week, such as some printer ink, it might be worthwhile going there.

Now for Office Depot.

$0.00 Items!
Free Resume Printing (limit 25)
Free Scholastic 4 oz. School Glue w/ $5 min. purchase

$0.05 Item
Office Depot Pencil Pouch (limit unknown)

$0.10 Item
Tug Pencil Sharpener (limit 3)

$0.25 Item
Papermate #2 Pencils, 10 pack (limit 3)

$0.50 Item
Office Depot Notebook Filler Paper, 150 pack (limit unknown)

$1.00 Items
Office Depot 12″ Acrylic Ruler
Sharpie Accent Pocket Highlighters, 6 pack
Office Depot Marble Composition Book, 100 pages
Liquid Paper Smooth Coverage White Out
PaperMate Write Bros Ballpoint Pens, 10 pack
Office Depot Paper Clips, 100 pack
*Expo White Board Cleaner or Eraser $1.99 w/ $1 coupon

*Not sure if this will work, as the coupon is for any “Expo Click” item, but it’s worth a shot.

And finally, if you happen to shop at Kmart, they have a deal where you can get a specific freebie each week if you spend $15. This week’s freebie is free 70-page theme book, whatever that is.