Hopefully none of the fake animals you have to slay in the game feel pain. I once killed a fish and spent weeks crying about it. He could have been Nemo! Well, not really, it was a bass fish … but maybe it was Nemo’s cousin or something!

Yesterday, Oprah gave away a coupon for 50% off any Payless shoes and it’s only valid for today, Friday, October 30. I just forwarded this to my brother, as his current shoes have more duct tape than actual shoe. It does have some benefits though. The last time we were out together, I didn’t have money for the parking meter and he happened to have $0.35 stuck to his soles!

[via Tina - thanks!]

If you haven’t signed up for a Philip Morris freebie in the past, you’ll need to register on the site with a driver’s license and social security number. They use the info to cross-check the DMV’s database to make sure you’re 21 or older since the law is so strict.

[via Cassandra - thanks!]

The coupon is valid until November 9 and it says you’ll need to bring a valid photo ID, so don’t use a fake name like Dr. Faker McFakerson. Unless that’s your real name, in which case, I’d love to meet your parents sometime. I have a feeling we’d hit it off.

They used to make fun of me for running a freebie blog, but ever since I started giving them codes, they seem to have shut their yappers

Free clothing offers never tend to last, so I expect this free hat or t-shirt offer from 4Moms to be dead by the time I wake up. Though that’s a weird emotion to expect in the am. Mornings are meant to be full of hope and rebirth – “ah, it’s a brand new day! I’m gonna make sure it’s a good one today and…oh yeah, there’s a dead freebie I need to take care of…” It’s like waking up to a dead rat in your pool. No fun.

They want a picture of you in exchange for the clothing item. Seems like a fair trade. I sent in a copy of the picture I drew of myself on a Unicorn jumping over a rainbow. I printed out 500 copies of them and am having the hardest time giving them away for some reason!

Team Privacy sounds like a cheesy name for a law office’s softball team, but apparently it’s part of a breast cancer awareness program from PRVCY. In fact, they’re giving away a free pair of sunglasses to anybody who signs up. I sure can’t wait for my pink pair to arrive! … I mean, the manly black pair that I obviously ordered …

The only problem with a free I Heart Bacteria t-shirt is that I in no way, shape, or form “heart” bacteria. It’s not that I hate it, I simply don’t have any opinion on it whatsoever. Like Neptune or ocean currents; I’m told they exist and that’s about as far as my thought process goes on them.

In order to qualify, you have to sign up for their free A-list club. You can join in the store and get your freebie the same day! You may want to call ahead and make sure your local store has some left in supply before heading there.

JCPenny seems to be doing a lot recently… From adding a store a few blocks down from the flagship Herald’s Square Macy’s to giving away this free tank top? I don’t know what they’ll do next.

I’m assured, however, that it won’t be put a man on the moon. Or so my sources tell me…

[I've been getting mixed reports with this one and the submission page. Some people say it works, others have had issues with it. For me, I think it went in alright, but I'm just not sure, so I'm putting it here so you can try your luck!]

I like hummus. I’m not afraid to admit it. While sometimes folks around me might not like it as much, that’s what they have to live with.

A hummus t-shirt, though, might be a different thing. I’m glad that this free Tribe hummus shirt isn’t actually MADE of hummus. That might be a problem…

While there’s one down the mall from where I work? I don’t think I’ll be visiting… That would be a liiiiiiiiittle too hard to explain to the other members of management why I had to make a “detour” before work…

(And if you miss being one of the first 100 people, well, at least its a nice $10 off of $50 or more coupon.)

[via the forums]

Groceries:
Kashi: $1.50 off new Kashi GoLean waffles
Tropicana: link removed, no longer working
Snapple: Buy one bottle, get one free (via their Facebook page)

Around the House:
Windex: $2.50 off Windex Outdoor All-in-One Starter Kit
PUR: $5 off PUR pitcher or faucet filter and/or $2 PUR flavor options cartridges

Health & Beauty:
CVS: $4 off a purchase of $20 or more. Hurry, expires today (5/25)!
Rite Aid: $5 off a purchase of $25 or more. Expires 5/31.
Aveeno: $2 off Aveeno suncare products

Dining:
Sonic: Free CroisSONIC breakfast sandwich with purchase of a large drink
Wendy’s: Buy a new coffee-flavored frosty, get one free when you “get frosty with your posse”

Clothing:
Payless: 15% off in-store purchase or $10 off an online purchase of $60 or more. Expires 6/1)
Aerie: Take 20% off, valid in Aerie stores only.

Something tells me that this free Sennheiser hat won’t last for very long, so you should sign up pronto if you want one. It’s almost as if I have a sixth sense for judging the lifespan of freebies. Just toss it up to being yet another of my many superhero powers.

I have way way too many hats. Why, even though I’ve seen a few new ones that I really want, I just got a new fox hat right from China that I can’t even wear because the weather just warmed up! Of course, I could have brought that one to Wisconsin when my wife and I were there last weekend, but I didn’t think of that.

Then again, I do live in the midwest, and that means that this free John Deere hat is fashionable with whatever I wear…

[via the forums]

And this is coming from a guy who wore white Reebok athletic socks with logo and all with his tux on his wedding day… Darn tootin’!

[via the forums]

It’d be pretty easy for me to borrow a dress and I’ve already got shaggy hair that might be passable for a chick. Plus, it’d give me an excuse to put on some makeup and get that manicure I’ve been dying for. Then again, the last time I did something like this, I got arrested in an undercover police sting. Talk about a funny story that I’ve suppressed and kept hidden from the light of day!

Haha, ohhh… where was I?

Well, it might. You could always use them as a cheese cloth, to impress male friends who are coming over by leaving them laying around conspicuously, or as slingshots.

Or not. Any other ideas for different uses? Its a Friday afternoon and my brain’s mostly shut off…

[via the forums]

Besides, I could always use another shirt that I’d never wear out in public as an exercise shirt.

EDIT: Hey folks, there’s some confusion here. You don’t need to download the software to get the shirt. It brings you to that page, and then you wait a few minutes, and the e-mail you get has a link to head to. So don’t download anything, just hang tight after you submit it, and you’ll be good.

[via the forums]

And now with this free Epson Printers T-Shirt with code B75H, and my usual fake business name? I can add another choice to the bunch. Yup, it’ll go well with my Krispie Kreme shirt.

[via the forums]