Freebies and free stuff

EDIT: And its dead and gone…

Its too early in the morning for me to make sense of this free Maine SURF Dude T-shirt. Why, I spent a good 3-4 minutes just blankly staring at my monitor, attempting to figure out what SURF stood for, just because the guy seemed to be holding a credit card and not a surf board… TGIF?

EDIT: And its dead…

Sadly, almost all of my old t-shirts don’t fit me anymore and I gave away my older ones to charity. Yup, just a few months before I started all of my weight loss efforts, I told myself I’d never be that size again. Now? I find myself running around without much clothes on. I mean, why should I bother to buy new clothes except for work and workout ones when I can get things like this free American Apparel t-shirt. And getting it with my own musical production company’s name on it? Makes it even cooler for me!

I think I own too many hats. But thankfully, this free Ferguson Camo hat will be perfect for me if I try to fit in around here. Oh wait, never mind, there’s no John Deere logo on it…

EDIT: No longer available.

With all of my jogging and weight loss? I’ll gladly take any sort of free shirts or clothes that I can find…

So it doesn’t matter that I’ve never heard of LogMeIn.com or the fact that they have an awesome network supposedly for connecting to your home computer. Nope. I’ll gladly take their free shirt, though.

EDIT: They pulled the offer. It’s now only for people in Miami.

First a thong and now a free American Apparel bikini bra; at this rate, we’ll all have an entire free outfit by Christmas.

Here’s a size chart if you need help deciding which to go with. I tried using it but there wasn’t an option for “creepy website owner who isn’t even a girl.”

[thanks Kristine and Justin!]

If you have a bottle of Dove Hair Care shampoo, then take a picture of yourself holding it and get a free Dove luxury bathrobe. You’ll also have to write a short review about it, but you can alternately make a 30 second video.

It sounds like a lot of work, but it shouldn’t take more than a minute or two. Plus the freebie is a luxury bathrobe! Just think of all the fancy parties you’ll be able to wear it to! I’ll finally be able to eat at the five star restaurant down the street without being told I’m under dressed. High society, here I come!

[thanks Patricia and Rose!]

If you don’t mind signing up with another tobacco company, you can get a free smoking jacket t-shirt. The good part is that this one doesn’t require any of your social security or driver’s license information. It’s just a slightly longer signup form than a regular freebie.

Once logged in, you’ll see a link for the t-shirt on the left side. Finally, I can continue to look nothing like Hugh Hefner!

EDIT: This is no longer available.

So when I stated that I’m a male while signing up for this free American Apparel thong, did I automatically get added to any government watchlists? Worst yet, I had no idea what size to go with. Could you believe they didn’t have size “I’m a freebie dude just signing up to make sure this is legit” in stock?

You’ll get an email (mine came immediately) with a link to the signup form.

What makes these free Victoria’s Secret panties so special as to classify them limited edition? I haven’t the slightest, but feel free to print out the coupon on Facebook and find out.

The coupon states that you have to make “any purchase,” but it’s been a while since I’ve been in a Victoria’s Secret. What’s the cheapest thing they sell? Maybe something like a $1 tube of lip gloss? I tried looking on their website, but got distracted. The typography is amazing!

Let’s try this again. The free Lane Bryant Cacique panties offer is back and valid through May 19. You don’t even need a coupon this time – just stop into any Lane Bryant, Lane Bryant Outlet, or Cacique store and ask for a pair.

Of course, you might want to call ahead first to make sure they have some in stock. There’s nothing worse than moaning in public that somebody won’t give you any free panties. Trust me, I got…I mean, you’ll get a lot of weird looks.