Dead Freebies


Free Oprah Magazine Subscription

Free O Magazine Subscription

This freebie from Jun 2006 has returned died mere minutes after I reposted it!

Mercury Magazines has free subscriptions to Oprah’s O magazine, the only magazine title that sounds as if it were just startled. That is unless you happen to frequently scream “REDBOOK!” when walking through haunted houses.

For occupation, you can select “Other” then “Homemaker” via Industry. Also you don’t have to do anything else once you’ve submitting your mailing address. There are a bunch of “offers” that show up on the confirmation page – you can just skip those and close the window.

Free Larabar Snack Bar

EDIT: Well, those went fast.

Upon retweeting the link above, Larabar will send you this link for a free Larabar snack … bar. I don’t know, for a bar, I was hoping for a lot more whiskey and a little less nuts.

Free Goop Revitalizing Day Moisturizer

Free Goop Moisturizer

EDIT: They took away the address field and changed the image text, so I’m assuming this offer is dead. :(

As HIF’s resident Goob, it took everything in my power not to insert my name into our free goop revitalizing day moisturizer. I know some Hiffers would love a free Goob, but sadly scientists here at HIF Industries have continually failed in their efforts to construct a cloning machine. They successfully managed to build an awesome paper cup skyscraper on my desk during football this weekend, so progress is most definitely being made.

In order to get the signup form to appear, you’ll need to look for the image above in the top, right sidebar and click it.

Free Soylent Drink

Free Soylent Drink

Oh man, I have a complicated relationship with today’s free Soylent drink (10,000 samples available only). I was a paid subscriber for their versions 1.2 to 1.4 after seeing their founder on Colbert Report and let’s just say they had a way of turning the mildest of stomaches into roiling pits of gas. They’ve supposedly fixed this issue with their current 2.0 line, but I guess we’ll find out soon enough.

Free Fancy Feast Broths Cat Food

free fancy feast cat food

This freebie from 2015 is back with a new flavor!

EDIT #2: So many people are having trouble with this that I’m pulling it.

Look for the staring cat above to request a free Purely Fancy Feast cat food sample that comes with a coupon. He’ll even give you a high five on the confirmation page! I consider my day officially made.

I love how the food comes “in a delicate broth.” Careful handling this freebie, it’s soooo delicate!

Free Prince Alan Tea

Free Prince Alan Tea

If the earlier free tea wasn’t your cup of … tea …, then check out this free Prince Alan tea that I also just found. I thought it might be a fake freebie based on the name, but they check out!

Free Green Mountain Organic Coffee K-Cups

Free Green Mountain Organic Coffee K-Cups

Walmart is offering a four-pack of free Green Mountain organic coffee k-cups. I like how it asks how often you buy organic products at Walmart then proceeds to only give you positive choices to pick from. I guess they can’t imagine people possibly picking “never.”

Free Devrom Internal Deodorant

Free Devrom Internal Deodorant

I’m no doctor (a fact my actual doctor frequently reminds me of), but today’s free Devrom sample has me squinting my eyes and tilting my head ever so slightly in confusion. It’s billed as “internal flatulence deodorant,” which sounds an awful lot like fart potpourri. But alright, I’ve been complaining to scientists for years that they needed to hurry up with the futuristic inventions. I guess these are Stage 1.

Free Star Wars Cardboard Viewer

Free Star Wars Cardboard Viewer

I’ve been trying to snag one of these free cardboard viewers for most of 2015 with no luck. They’ve been given away by random companies and tied to the weirdest promotions, but so many people want them that supplies tend to exhaust within hours. Luckily Google seems to have a ton of Star Wars themed viewers available today!

If you’re not familiar with cardboard viewers, they’re designed for new Android and ioS smartphones to fit inside them. You then put the viewer on your face and, paired with video shot on a specific type of camera, are treated to a cool, semi-VR video experience. It sounds stupid, but people I’ve talked to who have tried it out swear it’s neat. The New York Times even tried some VR-content this past autumn and it was a big hit.

You’ll need a credit card on file with the Google Play store to request one of these, but the final charge should say $0.00.

Free Wild Minis Tea

Free Wild Minis Tea

I’m not quite sure what happened just now. I started with saying free Wild Minis tea repeatedly while trying to think of a joke. I somehow ended up daydreaming about an evil wild manatee wrecking havoc off the eastern seaboard.