Dead Freebies

Free Can of Red Bull

Free Can Red Bull

EDIT: They switched the page around, so I think this is dead.

You’ll need to use your actual cell phone number for this free can of Red Bull at Walgreens. After submitting your info, a coupon will be sent to your phone and you’ll have until June 30 to redeem said coupon.

Free Avery Index Maker Dividers

Free Avery Index Maker Dividers

This freebie from Aug. 2015 has returned!

If a free 5-tab set of Avery Index Maker Dividers sounds exciting to you, then you’re probably either a massive nerd like me or a parent bursting with excitement over back-to-school season bemoaning the impending summer.

This freebie “includes the dividers and Easy Apply label strips,” he said as clarification to nobody.

Free Miracle-Gro Groables 30-Pods Kit

Free Miracle-Gro Groables 30-Pods Kit

EDIT: Looks like they only have 28,000 samples and they’re going fast!

If you’re a garden or plant lover with kids, then don’t let this tongue-twister of a name throw you off from requesting a free Miracle-Gro Groables 30-pod kit. I might not have a kid, but I certainly wish both my thumbs and apartment were a little greener, so I’m excited to give this freebie a go!

Their site is getting hammered right now and it’s a bit unclear how the form works, but where’s what you do. After clicking “next” on the first page, the progress bar will fill up completely and you’ll need to just wait a while. Like 5-10 minutes a while. Eventually the site will proceed to the second page asking for your name and email. 5-10 minutes later you should be on the third page asking what type of seeds you want (I was offered cherry tomatoes or regular tomatoes). Next comes the “share with your friends” page where you have to just click on one of the options before finally submitting your application.

It’s not hard by any stretch of the imagination, just takes some patience.

Free Monogrammed Rocks Glass

I hate that tobacco freebies have become the gold standard lately, but this free monogrammed rocks glass from Copenhagen is yet another in a long line of freebies that recently made me think “huh, cool, I actually want that!” In fact I wanted it so much that I’m now sipping two fingers of whiskey in place of lunch.

You’ll also be entered to win $5,000. I was hoping the grand prize would be a lot of whiskey, but then I remembered this valuable life lesson from Homer.

Free Be Well Rounded Prenatal Vitamins

It’s nice to know if evolution decides to throw me a curveball, I’ll be prepared with these free Be Well Rounded prenatal vitamins.

Free Clif Organic Trail Mix Bar

Free Clif Organic Trail Mix Bar

If a free Clif organic trail mix bar sounds delicious, then you probably haven’t eaten lunch like yours truly. I’d throw myself off a cliff right about now for a turkey sandwich. However if you’re looking for a little less death and mayhem with your snack, simply text CLIF to 84700 then respond with your name and mailing address.

Free Oprah Magazine Subscription

Free O Magazine Subscription

This freebie from Jun 2006 has returned died mere minutes after I reposted it!

Mercury Magazines has free subscriptions to Oprah’s O magazine, the only magazine title that sounds as if it were just startled. That is unless you happen to frequently scream “REDBOOK!” when walking through haunted houses.

For occupation, you can select “Other” then “Homemaker” via Industry. Also you don’t have to do anything else once you’ve submitting your mailing address. There are a bunch of “offers” that show up on the confirmation page – you can just skip those and close the window.

Free Larabar Snack Bar

EDIT: Well, those went fast.

Upon retweeting the link above, Larabar will send you this link for a free Larabar snack … bar. I don’t know, for a bar, I was hoping for a lot more whiskey and a little less nuts.

Free Goop Revitalizing Day Moisturizer

Free Goop Moisturizer

EDIT: They took away the address field and changed the image text, so I’m assuming this offer is dead. :(

As HIF’s resident Goob, it took everything in my power not to insert my name into our free goop revitalizing day moisturizer. I know some Hiffers would love a free Goob, but sadly scientists here at HIF Industries have continually failed in their efforts to construct a cloning machine. They successfully managed to build an awesome paper cup skyscraper on my desk during football this weekend, so progress is most definitely being made.

In order to get the signup form to appear, you’ll need to look for the image above in the top, right sidebar and click it.

Free Soylent Drink

Free Soylent Drink

Oh man, I have a complicated relationship with today’s free Soylent drink (10,000 samples available only). I was a paid subscriber for their versions 1.2 to 1.4 after seeing their founder on Colbert Report and let’s just say they had a way of turning the mildest of stomaches into roiling pits of gas. They’ve supposedly fixed this issue with their current 2.0 line, but I guess we’ll find out soon enough.