Dead Freebies


Free Purina ONE Beyond Dog Food

Free Purina ONE Beyond Dog Food

Purina is sending some mixed signals today. First they want us to get healthy, then they want us to eat free Purina ONE Beyond dog food. Well, they want our dogs to eat it. I hope.

Anybody else like the fancy italicized text on the signup form? It was the first time I’ve ever felt distinguished while requesting dog food.

Finally, here’s a Purina coupon as well, courtesy of HIF’s Coupon Database.

$0.99 off 1 bag of Dog Chow or Puppy Chow

Free Gevalia Coffee (select states)

free-gevalia-coffee

Do you live in one of the states (and please, for the love of everything holy, don’t saying anything about D.C. not being a state) listed above? Then good news! You get free Gevalia coffee. If the list looks random to you, join the club. We have t-shirts and a rec bowling team.

Free Tai Pei Asian Garden Entree

Free Tai Pei Asian Garden Entree

I have no idea what happened to the previous post about this free Tai Pei Asian Garden Entree offer on Facebook. I don’t even remember the joke I made. I’m sure it was stupid, no real loss. Just go to Facebook, like the page, and they’ll snail mail you a coupon. This is only good for the first 40,000 people.

Free 3M Carabiner

Free 3M Carabiner

My gut tells me this will die lightning quick, so watch a short video, fill out the form, and get a free carabiner from 3M.

Deal: Free Mother’s Day Photo Book

Free Mother’s Day Photo Book

If you’re a new customer to MyPublisher, then you can get a free photo book for Mother’s Day! All you have to do is sign up by tomorrow, May 1, and you’ll receive a custom code good for a free 20-page photo finish pocketbook or $19.99 off a Classic or Deluxe photo book.

Note you’ll have to pay for shipping, but Mom’s worth it, right? Also you only need to sign up by tomorrow. The code itself should be good for another week.

Hi Mom!

[thanks Deal Seeking Mom!]

Two Random Free $25 Gift Cards

A) I’m bored.
2) I can’t find any freebies.
III) I missed a few on Tuesday since I was busy and feel bad.

So to make up for all that I’m giving away two free $25 gift cards to Amazon. I also want an excuse to test out this Rafflecopter thingamajig below. If it works as seamlessly as they promise, then it’ll be way easier for me to run contests in the future! The contest ends Friday, April 26, at 2pm EST and I’ll announce the winners right after that so that they’re included in tomorrow’s newsletter.

I created three ways to enter. You can leave a comment, make a tweet, or like HIF on Facebook. Each is worth 1 entry and you can mix & match any way you want. Tweet and comment. Just like HIF on Facebook. Or do all three! The combinations are literally endless!

Just a minute. Oh. I’m being told there are only 7 possible combinations. Now you understand why I write and tell jokes for a living instead of doing something important like building bridges or administering medicine.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

3 Free Bruegger’s Bagels on 4/25

3 Free Bruegger's Bagels

Be sure to print out this coupon to use on Wednesday, April 25 to get 3 free Bruegger’s bagels prior to 2pm. You’ll be able to access the coupon after liking them on Facebook, which reminds me it’s been a while since I posted the How to Delete Facebook Crap guide I wrote last year.

Free L’Oreal Miracle Blur

Free L'Oreal Miracle Blur

Offers like this free L’Oreal Miracle Blur lotion are great at making you feel like an idiot for not remembering you already have an account with their website. I spent five minutes trying to reregister while screaming “come, there’s no way I have an account with L’Oreal Paris!” at the computer. Whoops.

The confirmation message is almost hidden at the top of the page, but it’s there after you submit your mailing info.

Free MiO Energy Black Cherry at 7-Eleven on 4/23

Free MiO Energy Black Cherry

Stop by your local 7-Eleven tomorrow, Tuesday, April 23 to get free MiO Energy Black Cherry water flavor enhancement squirty stuff. I’ve never had this flavor, but I was impressed with the originals they gave away years ago.

The sample is only for the Energy Black Cherry flavor and all you have to do is mention this promotion at the register. If they give you any trouble, tell them Goob sent you then throw on your sunglasses and walk out. That probably won’t work in 99.99% of cases, but it’d be pretty bad ass for the lucky 00.01% of Hiffers!

Free Starbucks Tall House Blend Coffee until Noon

Free Starbucks Coffee

Hopefully you catch this post before bed. Or I guess before rushing out to work or school in the off chance you’re some kind of hero with the superpower to rise before noon. Starbuck’s randomly posted to their Facebook that they’ll be offering free Starbucks tall House Blend coffee today, Friday, April 19, until noon.

This is cool and all, so kudos to Starbucks. But, uh, can we try not to make this whole “releasing awesome freebies multiple hours after Goob has started drinking” a thing? I think it’s best for everyone involved.

[thanks Freebie Finding Mom!]