Dead Freebies


Free Electro Rent 2015 Calendar

This free Electro Rent 2015 calendar has given me a new business idea: rent electricity! It’ll be dirt cheap, but you have to give all the energy back by running in a giant hamster wheel. It’s foolproof!

Free Meta Health Bar

Free Meta Health Bar

CVS’ free Meta health bar is so meta, I expect to see it star in an episode of Community next month.

Free Green-Dex Gloves

Free Green-Dex Gloves

2015 IS AWESOME! I wake up to discover Back To The Future shoes will be on my feet soon and then this afternoon I find free Green-Dex gloves. I’m clueless how gloves will build a deck for me and I’m not too thrilled it’ll be green, but I’ll take what I can get.

Free Kit Kat & Sierra Mist

Man oh man, am I sad today. Talk about an end of an era. I first discovered both The Daily Show and Stephen Colbert while channel surfing on September 12, 2002. To say I was hooked from the start would be an understatement. You don’t just happen to randomly remember what you watched on TV 12 years ago.

For me and millions of others, The Colbert Report wasn’t just a goofy comedy show, it was “must see TV” for the twenty-first century. I’d be flabbergasted if I missed more than 3 of the 1440+ episodes. I can’t think of a single show that flopped either. Sure, there were segments here or there that missed the mark, but overall Colbert was in my life and making me laugh more than any other stranger over the past decade. And all while in character! I can’t imagine what that must be like :)

I shouldn’t be tearing up all day like I have been. The man’s not dead! He’ll be back on TV before the end of next summer! I’m clearly biased, but there’s no doubt in my mind he’ll be amazing filling Letterman’s shoes. But for the next nine months, my evenings will be a tad dimmer. September is an eternity away right now.

To Stephen and everybody who ever put an hour of work into that show, I cannot thank you enough. Colbert is my comedy idol and if I ever have an ounce of his talent or charisma, I’ll die a happy man.

I think the only thing that could cheer me up would be a little comfort food like a free Kit Kat candy bar or a free Sierra Mist 2 liter. Well hey, look at that!

Free Stinky Abominable Snowman Poo

Free Stinky Abominable Snowman Poo

EDIT: Darn it, they’re out of free poo. Somebody send food to the Himalayas!

You read that right. Free Stinky Abominable Snowman Poo. I … I have no words. I have absolutely no idea what this is, but it’s free and heck if I’m not signing up. We need more off-the-wall freebies like this!

If it asks you to add anything to your cart during checkout or for a credit card, simply skip that step and move on. The order will go through and you won’t be charged a dime. Or even a buffalo nickel!

Free Nozoil Nasal Spray

free-nozoil-nasal-spray

If I’m reading this correctly, and I’m certain I’m not, our free Nozoil nasal spray is pronounced noz-oil. Hahaha. Stuffed up and need some oil for your noz? Try this Nozoil!

Free Popular Science Magazine Subscription

Free Popular Science Magazine Subscription

A fairly rare free Popular Science magazine subscription has appeared! It’s via Mercury Mags though, so it’ll predictable die within a few hours. Think of them as the Mayflys of freebies.

When it asks you about “additional offers,” politely tell them to bugger off. You should eventually come to a page that says “Thank You! The first issue of your qualifying print subscription(s) is estimated to arrive in 6 to 8 weeks” with your address displayed under it.

Free Unilever Product

Free Unilever Sample

I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people as excited over deodorant or whichever free Unilever product you decide to sample.

  • Degree Women Fresh Energy
  • Degree Men Adventure
  • Dove Men Clean Comfort
  • Axe White Night

What an adventure that guy seems to be on!

Capital One 360 Bonus Deal

Frequent Hiffers should recall Capital One 360’s awesome 4th of July promos the past few years where they gave new members a bonus for opening accounts. Well it turns out they’re running a second offer this year, though the Capital One 360 Savings offer requires a hefty sum. Still, I’m just passing along what the deal is. Hopefully a few people will be able to get a bonus out of it!

Through the end of today, at 11:59 pm ET, new members can receive the following offers:

  • 360 Checking: Earn $100 when you open a 360 Checking® account with a $250 minimum deposit and make 5 Debit Card purchases or mobile deposits.
  • 360 Savings: Snag $100 when you open a 360 Savings® account with a $1,000 minimum deposit.

If either $100 or another $100 sounds interesting to you, here are details on both offers.

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Free Pillsbury 2015 Calendar

Free Pillsbury calendar

As long as you were a Pillsbury member by Nov. 17, you can sign up for a free Pillsbury 2015 calendar. These always go Usain Bolt speed, so good luck!