Food Freebies


Free Kit Kat & Sierra Mist

Man oh man, am I sad today. Talk about an end of an era. I first discovered both The Daily Show and Stephen Colbert while channel surfing on September 12, 2002. To say I was hooked from the start would be an understatement. You don’t just happen to randomly remember what you watched on TV 12 years ago.

For me and millions of others, The Colbert Report wasn’t just a goofy comedy show, it was “must see TV” for the twenty-first century. I’d be flabbergasted if I missed more than 3 of the 1440+ episodes. I can’t think of a single show that flopped either. Sure, there were segments here or there that missed the mark, but overall Colbert was in my life and making me laugh more than any other stranger over the past decade. And all while in character! I can’t imagine what that must be like :)

I shouldn’t be tearing up all day like I have been. The man’s not dead! He’ll be back on TV before the end of next summer! I’m clearly biased, but there’s no doubt in my mind he’ll be amazing filling Letterman’s shoes. But for the next nine months, my evenings will be a tad dimmer. September is an eternity away right now.

To Stephen and everybody who ever put an hour of work into that show, I cannot thank you enough. Colbert is my comedy idol and if I ever have an ounce of his talent or charisma, I’ll die a happy man.

I think the only thing that could cheer me up would be a little comfort food like a free Kit Kat candy bar or a free Sierra Mist 2 liter. Well hey, look at that!

Free Morton Table Salt & Menton Gum

Free Morton Table Salt

SavingStar wants to makes us all salty with free Morton table salt while Kroger is dishing out free Mentos gum. I only recently learned that it doesn’t take 7 years for gum to digest upon swallowing. It might seem small, but this tiny revelation threatens to unravel everything I believe. Now watch somebody tell me babies come from Amazon delivery drones instead of storks.

Coupon: Free Chicken of the Sea

Free Chicken of the Sea

EDIT: This offer from last month has returned!

Walmart is offering a coupon for free Chicken of the Sea flavored salmon aka Turkey of the Sky or Hamster of the Mountain depending on your local dialect.

Free JELL-O & Kraft BBQ Sauce

free JELL-O gelatin or pudding mix

For a solid 15 years, I swore to any soul unfortunately enough to ask that I was allergic to JELL-O. It wasn’t until high school that I realized I just hated it, haha. As a result, I probably won’t take advantage of today’s free JELL-O gelatin or pudding mix from Savingstar. This free free Kraft BBQ sauce from Kroger on the other hand…

Free Waffle House Coupon

Free Waffle House Waffle

Here’s yet another free Waffle House coupon for a free waffle. However it’s worth pointing out that it expires on Dec. 8, which means the usual “Mon-Thur only” doesn’t apply in this case. It’s a Festivus miracle! In fact I’d argue we need more syrup-based miracles in our lives.

Free Great American Cookie

Free Great American Cookie

Thursday, December 4 is National Cookie Day. Of course it is, because that’s exactly what December needs. More days for us to devour sweet goodies. And tomorrow is such a day as anybody wearing a Santa hat to Great American Cookie will receive a free original chocolate chip cookie. Don’t have a Santa hat? I got your back.

Free Celeste Pizza and Herdez Sauces

Free Celeste Pizza

I find it hilarious that SavingStar’s free Celeste pizza is specially marked “for one.” Oh, trust me Celeste, we know it’s for one. We know all too well it’s for one.

Kroger is also giving away free Herdez 12oz cooking sauces, which I’ve never heard of. Cool.

Free York Mint and Hillshire Lunchmeat

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Savingstar somehow found out 10-year-old Goob’s favorite treat for today’s Freebie Friday offer of a free York Peppermint Pattie. Meanwhile Kroger is handing out free Hillshire Farm Naturals Tub Lunchmeat. Because nothing says fine dining like a tub full of deli meat.

Coupon: Free Waffle House Waffle

Free Waffle House Waffle

I hate reusing the same joke all the time, but this free Waffle House coupon keeps returning!

You’ll thank me the next time you’re out drunk at 5am and realize you have a coupon in your wallet for a free Waffle House waffle. Though to be honest if you’re thinking about coupons at the crack of dawn while intoxicated, you deserve some massive props.

The coupon doesn’t expire until Dec. 12, 2014 so there’s no rush on killing those brain cells. Note it’s only valid Monday-Friday!

Free Snacks for Troops!

Free Slim Jims for the troops!

EDIT: Both of these offers from June 2014 are still going strong!

Slim Jims needs our help sending 1 million free Slim Jims overseas to our troops. Don’t worry, you don’t have to physically stuff any envelopes with Slim Jims. Probably because if you’re like me, you’d end up eating way too many.

Free Moon Pies Troops

Meanwhile some dude creeping in the clouds wants to send 50,000 free Moon Pies overseas as well! This ends June 2015.