Freebies and free stuff

These free PowerBar gel blasts almost scare me. Look at all the power blasting from each gel. There’s no way my body will be able to handle one of those. I sit in front of a computer all day long and read a few thousand words. A handful of peanuts is all it takes to keep me going through the day. I do have a cell phone that won’t hold a charge anymore though… I wonder if I can jam one of these gels in there somehow…

They force you to join their newsletter, so I forced it to go to my freebie e-mail account. You might want to do the same.

We’ve posted this free Prilosec OTC offer a few times in the past year, but it’s still available. Plus, with all the free food I’ve posted today, I figure there will be some Hiffers suffering from heartburn soon!

I’m not sure what the difference is between a normal calendar and this free 2010 wellness calendar, but I hope it has something to do with replacing the days of the week with vegetables. Hey look, it’s Carrotday.¹

Their website looks a little weird in Firefox, but the form went through just fine.

1. That was an atrocious joke and I apologize profusely. [↩]

This free Subway Teacher’s Kit is only available for subway riders…wait, that doesn’t sound right…

Ah, yes, teachers can sign up for the free kit which comes with “tools they need to bring fitness and nutrition education into the classroom.” I haven’t been able to find out what exactly is in the kit, but then again I’m not a teacher. The state still won’t certify my license even though I teacher people how to get freebies every day!

EDIT: I’ve removed the links below as they’re no longer working. When they come back, however, I’ll be sure to post them again.

As a kid, I used to take Excedrin three or four times a week to combat my migraines and it didn’t take long for them to become almost like candy. So now I try not to take anything for the normal headache, but I also recently decided to get some prescription meds and keep them on standby for when the pain is almost debilitating. As luck would have it, Treximet is not only an anti-migraine med, but they’re giving away nine free pills.

Now I’m not a doctor. I’ve never tried Treximet, I don’t have a prescription for it, and so I won’t be using this freebie unless my doc says otherwise. But if you do have a prescription, then you might want to print out this free Treximet coupon offer. It’s valid through November 15 but there’s probably a limit on how many they’ll give away, so you might want to print it now if you think you’ll use it.

If you happen to be a victim of the current economic climate and without a job or health insurance, CVS and Walgreens have your back and are offering free flu shots.

Despite press releases saying the shots started this month, CVS is actually giving out free flu shots starting in October. You can call 1-888-FLU-SHOT to find the nearest location and time.

Walgreens has an offer where they are giving away free flu shot vouchers if you visit a Wellness Tour bus between September 17 and November 15. The offer’s a bit limited, however, as the bus tour schedule shows it’s only going to be in 17 states.

For some reason, these free Sensis condoms remind of me ninjas. I think it’s because Sensis sounds like sensei, like Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

And long story short, now I can’t stop picturing ninjas having relations.

Walmart is giving away some free Zyrtec samples and coupons, which is just in time for spring blossom! … Wait, isn’t this a few month’s too late? Do people get bad allergies during the fall and winter? I rarely leave my protective apartment cocoon, so I don’t know much about the outside realm.

The “Get Special Savings” button will take you to a page where you can print $2 and $4 coupon. To get the sample, click on “Zyrtex 10mg Tablets.” There are quite a few states that don’t love their residents and want them to suffer from allergies year round, however. They include: Arizona, Connecticut, District of Columbia, Iowa, Kansas, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and Vermont.

EDIT: To get the wipes, you must be a teacher. They only have a certain number each day and today’s amount is exhausted now.

As a kid, I used to always wish I’d get sick so that I could stay home from school. What was the worst that could happen to me back then? Strep throat? Possibly a stomach bug? Now my siblings have to worry about freaking Swine Flu! Maybe these free Clorox Disinfecting Wipes for teachers will help keep them healthy and out of my hair for six hours a day.

Here’s a coupon for a free 12-count of CankerMelts at Walgreens or Rite Aid that expires on Sept. 15. They gave some away back in January that I remember using and…I guess they work. They pretty much just numb the area around the canker so that it doesn’t bother you for a few hours. It’s like whiskey, but without the side effect that urges you to call your ex-significant other at 3 in the morning.

EDIT: Looks like these were meant for NGOs instead of Hiffers. Oh well!

This free 4 pack of LOVE condoms is being given away be a company dedicated to fighting HIV & AIDS and I for one can’t wait to do my part in this noble cause. Nobody said using freebies was an easy job, but by golly, somebody’s got to do it!

The free Nicoderm CQ offer is back and comes with $7 in coupons like last time. It’s a non-medicated sample though, so you’re really just getting the coupons. I wonder how many people would try it, while not knowing it’s non-medicated, and suddenly feel like it’s working. I try creating the placebo effect all the time, but it never pans out. I still get migraines despite my stubborn approach to ward them off with pixie sticks.

The free Nicorette 20-Pack gum offer is still available as well, FWIW.

We posted this free Menopause Survival Kit back in December, but I’m not sure if it came or not for those who signed up. Suffice to say, this was one of those freebies where I signed up a friend or relative instead of myself. Something tells me I’m not going to be going through Menopause anytime soon.

Walmart is giving away free NoDoz anti-sleeping pills that you can use the next time you need to stay up late studying or fighting off werewolves. I hear silver bullets work well, but I have no idea how to best a werewolf. Good luck with that one.

This free breast self-exam shower card is a good idea, both for reminding women to frequently check themselves for breast cancer and for also showing them how to properly do so. I just wish there was something similar for people like me who frequently forget how to shower in the first place. I jump in, freak out because of the cold water, and then end up squirting shampoo in my eyes.

This is easily a daily occurrence for me!