Health & Fitness Freebies

Free LUB Adult Lubricant

Free LUB Adult Lubricant

Judging from the webiste, this free LUB adult lubricant is ideal for the next time you and your partner decide to get frisky in a torrential downpour or perhaps beneath a waterfall. Hahaha, look at that guy! He clearly did something to piss off Mother Nature, because that shower is directly solely at him.

For those easily distracted, the signup form is way near the bottom.

Free Cal-EZ Calcium Supplement

Free Cal-EZ Calcium Supplement

EDIT: I’ve updated the link, sorry about that!

If you woke up this morning feeling a bit light on calcium and you haven’t fully committed to going green by replacing your lawnmower with a cow, then sign up for some free Cal-EZ calcium supplements.

Free Amsety Liver Bar

Free Amsety Liver Bar

Man, I wrote up this great joke about Hiffers owning illegal livers which needed amnesty. Then I had my first cup of coffee and realized this freebie is for a free Amsety bar. Darn it, where’d that phantom N go?! I can’t even begin to explain how childishly giddy I became this morning thinking about illegal livers coming here to prevent blood clots that American livers didn’t want any part of.

Pfree Premier Protein Product

Free Premier Protein Bar

Remember this freebie? Probably not, since it’s from August 2015, but it has returned as the prophecy foretold!

I couldn’t help myself in the title. :)

Workout buffs can get a free Premier Protein bar or shake today! Well, they can request it today. They’ll have to wait 4 to 6 weeks like the rest of us unless they’re John Titor.

Rebate: Free NeilMed SinuFrin

Free NeilMed SinFru Rebate

Now through February 14, 2016, you can get a free full-sized NeilMed SinuFrin at Walgreens valued up to $15. One thing that’s nice about this offer is you don’t have to physically mail anything – it’s all done electronically. The fine print doesn’t really specify how you’ll be paid back, but I’d assume it’ll by via a check.

Make sure to note you must buy this from Walgreens in order to apply for the rebate.

Free Salonpas Pain Relief Patch

Free Salonpas Pain Relief Patch

I’ve love to come up with a joke for this free Salonpas pain relief patch, but I’ve got 2 feet of snow inbound and the only items in my fridge … let’s see … correction, the only ITEM in my fridge is a beer. I might want to go out and procure some sustinence for the weekend.

Free Kleenex Care Pack


Where were these free Kleenex care packs back on New Years Eve when my friends were all conspiring to give me their worst cold mutations? Don’t get me wrong, I had a blast and would do it all over again, but it’s been almost three weeks and my body is still doing it’s damnedest to cough and/or sneeze out a lung.

This promo is meant to send the free Kleenex to a friend while you receive a free coupon. However there’s nothing stopping you from entering your own address.

Free Atkins Quick-Start Kit

Free Atkins Quick-Start Kit

This freebie from April 2012 has returned!

Today’s free Atkins quick-start kit contains some informative brochures, a BOGO coupon, and possibly pizza or chocolate to snack on? Or maybe you’re supposed to eat the brochures? I’m not clear on the specifics plus it all tastes the same to me.

The kit is available through Jan. 31.

Free Align Probiotic

Free Align Probiotic Supplement

This freebie from Nov. 2013 is back!

Ohhhh, this free Align Probiotic supplement contains B. infantis 35624 instead of last year’s B. infantis 35623? That’s the newest software update! I think it added wifi capabilities.

It only asks two questions to see if you qualify, though I’m not certain what answers they aren or aren’t looking for.

Free Cottonelle FreshCare Flushable Cloths

free cottonelle freshcare flushable wipes

Sure, often!

This classic freebie is still available!

These free Cottonelle FreshCare flushable cloths make it sound as if the free cloths actually care about me. Like they really want me to be clean and cared for. Oh man, wish I could say the same for them. They probably won’t be too happy with their ultimate lot in life. :/