HIF News Freebies

This is important, so thanks for reading it.

Alert the media! Stop the presses! Goob broke HIF last week! Dog bites man!

As some of you have alerted me, HIF is stuck showing nothing new past Monday, February 11. That’s a slight problem since today is February 25 and I’ve made plenty of posts over the last 14 days.

In order to kick HIF’s rear into gear, please do the following:

• Go to HeyItsFree.net
• Press Ctrl and R at the same time (mac users can hit Command and R) to force a manual refresh of the page.

That should be all it takes. However if HIF still refuses to update or updates only to today and then stops updating again tomorrow, please let me know. It would be much appreciated.

Veteran Hiffers may remember I broke the browser cache in September 2009 as well. I’m getting pretty good at this.

So this isn’t a freebie, whatever, but I had a series of stupid, annoying things happen today and then out of the blue my sister sent me this video.

Hahahahaha. Oh man. As you can see, there are multiple apples that didn’t fall far from the Goob Family Tree.

At least I should be. If I’m in any other country than Oman right now, I am seriously lost.

So why am I gone this week? *shoulders shrug* Why not?

I left last Sunday, hence the sparse amount of posts since then. I return this Sunday as well, so things should return to normal before you know it. Oh, I found the cause of HIF’s recent slow load time! So having squashed that bug is nice.

Okay, I’ve run out of information to share. Have a good few days without me! How about y’all talk to each other in the comments? Make a few new friends from fellow Hiffers.

I posted the following message on HIF’s Facebook and Twitter pages today, but I just wanted to repost it here as well.

I’m seriously peeved over how slow HIF has been running lately. It’s not cool and I’ve been working on it all week. Still, I want to apologize. Waiting 20 seconds for a website to load is something I wouldn’t do unless I owned the darn thing, so a giant thanks to everybody who has stuck around lately.

I’m still elbow-deep in code right now, but I hope to have everything sorted out as soon as possible.

Hey, remember that crappy cancer last summer? I sure do. Thankfully I’m still 100% in remission, but I bring it up because it kind of killed my summer. I spent 95% of it in a hospital chair or hugging a toilet bowl, but I guess it was worth it since, you know, still being alive and whatnot.

Another nugget it provided was an unplanned, though not unpleasant, realization of my own mortality. I’m still in my 20s now, but I won’t be able to say that this time next year. Before I know it, we’ll be planning for the 2062 Mars Olympics while deciding which Nixon clone to elect president and I’ll be lamenting how my 70s are about to end. Ever since that image popped in my head (the 100m dash…in space!), I’ve been saying yes to a hell of a lot more things and life has been noticeably sweeter.

There have been a few three or four day weekends this year where I haven’t posted, be it because the freebies simply aren’t there or Life got in the way. During those times, I’ve noticed an uptick in messages, comments, and emails asking if I was alright or feeling well. The level of concern that some people have for me still stuns me. I don’t think I’ll ever get over that and I know I’ll never stop appreciating it.

I’m almost done with a big move, I’ve got some personal and family things going on (all good!), and there are the usual summer vacations, trips, weddings, etc. I guess you could say I’m making up for lost time. But I wanted to make clear that I’m totally healthy and any short interruption in freebies this summer isn’t an indication otherwise. I don’t want to needlessly worry anyone. Trust me, if I was sick again, y’all would quickly know.

Take today for instance. I’m on my way to Bonnaroo, a four-day music festival, so I won’t be around to answer questions or comments. I’ve scheduled a few never-dying freebies to republish over the next few days and I’ll be back by Monday, but I’m obviously going to miss any brand new freebies. I hope you don’t desperately need that travel-sized shampoo I’m sure Garnier will offer while I’m gone.

Thanks again for all the positive energy flowing my way and here’s to a great summer everyone!

I try to take certain days off. Weekends aren’t a must, but I like taking them off so I have a semblance of balance between work and personal time, like most people. Christmas, Thanksgiving, and 4th of July are always nice free holidays. Then you’ve got Easter, New Years Day, Talk Like A Pirate Day, Wednesdays, National “Insert Dessert Food Here” Days – you know, the usual. But my birthday is one of those random days where I always say “no, no, I’m going to treat it like any other day” and then by mid-afternoon I’m like “screw it, I’m out of here.”

Today is that day. The freebies are especially weak today anyway.

In lieu of extravagant gifts hand sculpted from gold, I humbly ask that you follow my personal accounts on your social network(s) of choice.

• Facebook
• Twitter
• Google+
• Personal Blog

Thanks in advance. My fans on these places are like a sounding board for little projects I do outside of HIF, some of which eventually develop into larger stuff. You guys rock!

I’m bad at remembering things. Dates, things to do, names!, the point of this post. TL;DR I think today was HIF’s anniversary.

I registered HeyItsFree.net in May 2005. I was a few months away from graduating with a degree in History and, as Gob Bluth would say, it was clear I’d made a huge mistake. One lazy afternoon while in an Australian computer cafe, I was chatting with a friend back home for ideas for new websites. He pitched the name Hey, It’s Free and I liked it. I didn’t even know what I wanted to write about, I just liked the name. The .com version was already registered, so I picked up the .net and promptly forgot all about it.

Fast forward to February 2006. My mom was trying to print some photos. I had seen an offer online where she could do it for free, but I didn’t have five hours free to walk her through it over the phone. Then I remembered I still had the rights to this domain, so I quickly set up a blog and wrote this:

Similar to Wal Mart, Walgreens has 1 hour photo. To get your 20 free prints, sign up for an account at http://www.walgreens.com.

Click on Photo, and upload your first photo. Once you do that, you will automatically be credited 20 free prints (glossy only for pick up in store). No shipping charges if you choose to pick up in store amd(sic) no credit card info required.

One more thing, you can create more than one user. Then you get print 20 prints for each user, and just pick them up all at the same time.

And thus HIF was born. I followed that up with four more posts that day and by March I was more or less working at the pace I do now. But the above post is the oldest I can find in the archives, which means SIX YEARS AGO TODAY I started this site. That’s longer than half my friendships. That’s way longer than any of my relationships.

I’ve been going through the archives a lot recently. Boy were there some crappy offers back then. It took me a month or two to figure out what freebies were legit. It was funny how fast I started getting readers. I remember plateauing around 500 daily readers for the longest time, but it was amazing to see how quickly those 500 found the site. I didn’t remember starting the forums (remember those?!) in November 2006. I figured it had been at least a year later. And the jokes! Oh, the jokes, when there were any, were awful. Worse than they are today! Though I have to admit, I hit my stride that summer.

That’s what honestly kept me going – the silly jokes. I used to create & flip sites all the time, but I found writing jokes about freebies refreshing in the strangest way. I’d always wanted to “be funny” for a living, but I could never make myself do it. Suddenly I was being forced to come up with something new every day without picking the topic myself. It was like a bizarro version of The Daily Show. Instead of waking up and making fun of the news, I’d be given toothpaste, a granola bar, and a magazine offer. And after the 40th toothpaste offer, it got really interesting to see if I could keep it original and fresh without ever rehashing the same joke. I loved it.

So yeah, it’s HIF’s birthday. I have no idea what the next six years will bring. More stuff like the Amazon Kindle giveaway from yesterday? Live chat or Q&A sessions? More writers to cover coupons or contests? Who knows but I hope you’ll be there to find out with me. Thanks for everything.

Yep, that’s a month of hair and a week of beard growth. And the eyebrows are back! I’m thankful for two out of those three.

I’m a private guy by nature. Heck, my sense of humor is a textbook case of having developed as a shielding mechanism. But it feels silly now that I ever debated keeping quiet on my health situation.

I was already in the middle of treatment when I wrote that post. I remember hitting publish then flopping over onto the bed for a smooth 10 hour nap. The next time I loaded HIF, the comment count had skyrocketed into the hundreds and I was shocked. I actually didn’t read them. I didn’t even look at them. I was terrified there’d be a heavy dose of negatvity (I mean, we’re talking about anonymous Internet comments here!) and I was already having enough trouble smiling.

The worst period of all occurred a week later when a perfect storm of side effects culminated. For three straight days, my dog and I lied in bed staring at one another, trying to will the other into venturing out to find food. I finally mustered the energy to get out of bed, but the kitchen felt lightyears away, so I sat down in front of my computer and loaded the comments.

You punks had me crying within minutes.

And that was it. That was the lowest I ever got and everything from there was an improvement. It sounds corny, but knowing I had thousands of complete strangers out there rooting for me was encouraging in a way I’d never thought possible.

Suddenly I wasn’t fighting this damn thing alone! I knew my family and friends had my back, but I never expected in a million years that people I’d never met would care as well. Every corner of the globe seemed to have a vested interest in vanquishing my tumors. I got emails from Canada, India, Ireland, Australia, Japan, and countless others. HIF doesn’t even post freebies for those countries!

I wasn’t able to reply to everyone individually, but I read and appreciated each and every comment and email.

And I’m thrilled to say that I’m now officially in remission.

I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll say it again, but thank you. Y’all were phenomenal to me throughout this and knowing that I didn’t have to post freebies every day was a giant load off my back for a few months. So, again, thank you for the kind words and thoughts and prayers and love and every ounce of goodwill channeled in my direction! It made a huge difference and I’ll never forget it.

Now go find some turkey, enjoy the day with family and friends, and have a Happy Thanksgiving!

I have a confession to make. I’m not 100% incompetent when it comes to freebies. I know I’ve missed a bit over the past few weeks and I HATE to make excuses, but long story short I’ve got cancer and am in the middle of chemotherapy.

I debated announcing this for a while. One of the few ways I’m oldschool is how I don’t like broadcasting my problems to the world. The goofy, semi-moronic character named Goob you see on HIF is the same persona I carry on in my daily life. Just ask any of my ex-girlfriends.

But the fact of the matter is there are days where the chemo kicks my ass. I’ve never been so tired in my life and this is coming from a guy who used to nap at least twice a day in college. Knock on wood, this will all pass soon, but in the mean time I’m going to keep missing the occasional freebie.

I ultimately decided to publish this because I wanted to say thank you. I wouldn’t be in a relatively rocking position if it weren’t for y’all. I don’t know how many people know this, but HIF is my job. It went from a joke site to paying for an occasional six-pack to a full time, get up and be at my desk by 8am every day job. Okay, 10am. And I love it! I’m my own boss, I can work from anywhere, all successes (or failures!) are mine and I get to fly by the seat of my pants in so many areas. Trust me, I knew nothing of server maintenance or business tax law or negotiating ad rates 24 months ago.

And with this newfound success, I bought health insurance.

So many of my friends and family are still out of work three years running. They don’t have a steady income, let alone health coverage. And the only reason I do is because of each and every one of you.

Had so many of you not emailed, tweeted, liked, shared, stumbled, telephoned, carrier pigeoned, and however else you spread the word about HIF, then this site wouldn’t still exist. I can’t even begin to fathom how harder that would have made my life now.

So thank you. Even if all you do is scan the page once of twice a week, that’s one or two more pageviews that ultimately led to me being able to take care of myself and put me in a position of optimism. Thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my fraking heart, thank you.