Freebies and free stuff

EDIT: I’m gonna go on a limb and say this is no longer available.

These free Avery shipping labels are probably just that, shipping labels, instead of the more useful return address labels. Regardless, I signed up for them with my home address and will probably end up sending myself something in the mail. Oh, I know, I’ll send a time capsule!

What would future Goob most likely want? Probably the same things present Goob enjoys: Hello Kitty pajamas, Sponge Bob plush dolls, and a comfy Dora the Explorer blanket. Wait, did I just type what I was thinking in my head? Crap, I really wish my delete key wasn’t broken…

I know I’ve posted this free pet window decal before because it’s currently next to my front door, yet I can’t find the old post for the life of me. I’d make for a horrible detective. We probably only need one decal at any rate. The last thing I want is for firefighters to think I’ve got twenty dogs hiding in the house since I’ve got 10 decals plastered on the windows.

EDIT: Hopefully you signed up earlier, because all of the free calendars are gone now!

In order to get this free Eukanuba 2010 calendar, look at the right side of the page for an arrow pointing towards the dog with a pink force field floating around her. From the looks of it, the calendar has nine puppies on the cover, so be prepared for massive amounts of “awwwwwwwww” once it arrives in the mail.

I have no idea what Kraken Rum is, but I love old timey posters and alcohol, so I’m clearly in the free Kraken Rum poster target demographic. Too bad their store locator wasn’t working when I tried to use it this afternoon.

My mind was clearly elsewhere as I was signing up for this free 2010 Unity calendar. I put my street address in the address, city, AND zip code fields! I’m not sure why, but something tells me I won’t be getting this freebie.

Viva paper towels is giving away free recipe holders to the first 5,000 people to send a postcard or index card with their name, address, age and email (optional) to:

Food Network Magazine/VIVA Giveaway
P.O. Box 9221
Lyndhurst, NJ 07071

I haven’t seen this offer on many other freebie sites, so if you throw a card in the mail today, chances are you’ll get a freebie. In semi-related news, Coupons.com has a $0.40/2 Viva Towels Big Roll coupon available. In completely non-related news, I’m having trouble focusing today. There’s a new episode of Radio Lab sitting in iTunes and I’ve got a copy of Battlestar Galactica’s The Plan just waiting to be watched! Too bad I’m my own boss or I’d totally call in sick today.

EDIT: SmartSource also has the $0.40/2 Viva Towels Big Roll coupon available!

This free crock-pot recipe e-book has 33 total recipes in it and I couldn’t be happier. I just may live through the winter now! I don’t know who invented the crock-pot, but they deserve an award. It’s literally a magic pot – I throw in a bunch of raw ingredients in the morning and by dinner time, I have something edible and tasty. Why don’t we have more devices like this in our lives?

To get the recipe book, enter your e-mail address in the box that pops up on the first page and then select the option to skip straight to the recipe book. I didn’t print mine out since it’s 50 pages long, but I did print one or two recipes that I’ll try this week.

I’m not sure what the difference is between a normal calendar and this free 2010 wellness calendar, but I hope it has something to do with replacing the days of the week with vegetables. Hey look, it’s Carrotday.¹

Their website looks a little weird in Firefox, but the form went through just fine.

1. That was an atrocious joke and I apologize profusely. [↩]

Pocket Your Dollars put together a nice post of Office Max deals available this week, including a few items that you can get for free after MaxPerks Bonus Rewards. MaxPerks are Office Max’s version of a rewards program and are only available to businesses and schools, but they’re pretty lax on registration. For instance, I signed up for a business account for my home office, which pretty much anybody can claim to have.

These usually go pretty fast, so you might want to call ahead to make sure your local store has enough in stock.

Free After MaxPerks Bonus Rewards

Sharpie Black Pens 2-pack $1.99 (Limit 3)
Spend $1.99, earn $2 on your MaxPerks card
Final price: Free after MaxPerks Bonus Rewards

Manila Folders 100-count $6.99 (Limit 3)
Spend $6.99, earn $7 on your MaxPerks card
Final price: Free after MaxPerks Bonus Rewards

Bankers Boxes 10-pack $9.99 (Limit 3)
Spend $9.99, earn $10 on your MaxPerks card
Final price: Free after MaxPerks Bonus Rewards

5-Ream Case of Copy Paper (2,500 sheets) $16.99 (Limit 3)
Spend $16.99, earn $17 on your MaxPerks card
Final price: Free after MaxPerks Bonus Rewards

EDIT: Darn, this is no longer available.

Finally! Somebody has taken the lead and added six more months to the oncoming year. At least that’s what this free 18-month Danica Patrick calendar means to me. Just imagine how much more I’ll be able to not get accomplished with all that extra time to procrastinate!

There’s no space for your address, so I just put mine in the comment section. We’ll see if it ever comes, but it only took 10 second to sign up for, so no harm if it flakes out.

[via the forums]

The only bad things about meal idea books, like this free Nestle Carnation holiday recipe guide, is that you still have to cook the food in the end. Sure, a photo of what the casserole should look like, an ingredients list, and step-by-step instructions on how to make it might be enough for most people, but not me. Oh, don’t look at me that way, preheating an oven is far more complicated than it looks!

You can download the guide or opt to have it mailed to you.

EDIT: Well that died quickly. Sorry for leaving it up longer than normal. I was taking an unscheduled medication-induced dream.

Guess what’s back! The free Kraftmaid Kitchen Idea Book is here for a few hours today. It’s almost like a game for me to see if I can find it and post it each month before it quickly dies. This will mark the fourth month in a row that I managed to track it down, which is by far a personal best. I doubt there’s a world record, but dang it, there should be. Heck, finding freebies should be in the Olympics if you ask me! If golf and rhythmic gymnastics can earn people gold medals, I don’t see why I shouldn’t have a few hanging around my neck!

Every October it seems like a bazillion free calendar offers appear (free Joyce Meyer 2010 calendar, anyone?) and yet only two or three ever show up. Sure, that may be enough for most people, but I need at least a dozen calendars. I figure one per wall in each of the three rooms I spend most of my time in should balance out my horrible memory capacity. It’s so bad that…wait, where am I? Who the heck are you people?!*

* I’m almost certain I’ve made that joke before and yet I can’t remember when! See, I’m not kidding, my memory is horrendous!

The U.S. Department of Health & Human Services is giving away free 2010 calendars in either English or Spanish. I picked up a Spanish version for fun before remembering that being confused in a foreign language really isn’t that fun. The last time I was in South America, I spent 20 minutes trying to pay for a subway ticket while the man behind the counter kept screaming “gratis, gratis!”

Long story short, I walked home that evening.

[via the forums]

It’s early autumn, a free New Yorker 2010 calendar is available, and yet it’s 9 million degrees outside.¹ Something doesn’t quite add up. Not that I’m complaining though! I loathe winter almost as much as I do green beans or El Niño. It’s just – and I’m no scientist – but shouldn’t the weather be getting colder? I’m starting to think “global warming” might be a tame term. I vote we change it to “global it’s so hot outside I’m not going to bother with pants.” It just rolls off the tongue.

1. Plus or minus 8,999,910 degrees. [↩]