These free Avery shipping labels are probably just that, shipping labels, instead of the more useful return address labels. Regardless, I signed up for them with my home address and will probably end up sending myself something in the mail. Oh, I know, I’ll send a time capsule!

What would future Goob most likely want? Probably the same things present Goob enjoys: Hello Kitty pajamas, Sponge Bob plush dolls, and a comfy Dora the Explorer blanket. Wait, did I just type what I was thinking in my head? Crap, I really wish my delete key wasn’t broken…

I know I’ve posted this free pet window decal before because it’s currently next to my front door, yet I can’t find the old post for the life of me. I’d make for a horrible detective. We probably only need one decal at any rate. The last thing I want is for firefighters to think I’ve got twenty dogs hiding in the house since I’ve got 10 decals plastered on the windows.

In order to get this free Eukanuba 2010 calendar, look at the right side of the page for an arrow pointing towards the dog with a pink force field floating around her. From the looks of it, the calendar has nine puppies on the cover, so be prepared for massive amounts of “awwwwwwwww” once it arrives in the mail.

I have no idea what Kraken Rum is, but I love old timey posters and alcohol, so I’m clearly in the free Kraken Rum poster target demographic. Too bad their store locator wasn’t working when I tried to use it this afternoon.

Food Network Magazine/VIVA Giveaway
P.O. Box 9221
Lyndhurst, NJ 07071

I haven’t seen this offer on many other freebie sites, so if you throw a card in the mail today, chances are you’ll get a freebie. In semi-related news, Coupons.com has a $0.40/2 Viva Towels Big Roll coupon available. In completely non-related news, I’m having trouble focusing today. There’s a new episode of Radio Lab sitting in iTunes and I’ve got a copy of Battlestar Galactica’s The Plan just waiting to be watched! Too bad I’m my own boss or I’d totally call in sick today.

EDIT: SmartSource also has the $0.40/2 Viva Towels Big Roll coupon available!

To get the recipe book, enter your e-mail address in the box that pops up on the first page and then select the option to skip straight to the recipe book. I didn’t print mine out since it’s 50 pages long, but I did print one or two recipes that I’ll try this week.

Their website looks a little weird in Firefox, but the form went through just fine.

1. That was an atrocious joke and I apologize profusely.

Pocket Your Dollars put together a nice post of Office Max deals available this week, including a few items that you can get for free after MaxPerks Bonus Rewards. MaxPerks are Office Max’s version of a rewards program and are only available to businesses and schools, but they’re pretty lax on registration. For instance, I signed up for a business account for my home office, which pretty much anybody can claim to have.

These usually go pretty fast, so you might want to call ahead to make sure your local store has enough in stock.

Free After MaxPerks Bonus Rewards

Sharpie Black Pens 2-pack $1.99 (Limit 3)
Spend $1.99, earn $2 on your MaxPerks card
Final price: Free after MaxPerks Bonus Rewards

Manila Folders 100-count $6.99 (Limit 3)
Spend $6.99, earn $7 on your MaxPerks card
Final price: Free after MaxPerks Bonus Rewards

Bankers Boxes 10-pack $9.99 (Limit 3)
Spend $9.99, earn $10 on your MaxPerks card
Final price: Free after MaxPerks Bonus Rewards

5-Ream Case of Copy Paper (2,500 sheets) $16.99 (Limit 3)
Spend $16.99, earn $17 on your MaxPerks card
Final price: Free after MaxPerks Bonus Rewards

Finally! Somebody has taken the lead and added six more months to the oncoming year. At least that’s what this free 18-month Danica Patrick calendar means to me. Just imagine how much more I’ll be able to not get accomplished with all that extra time to procrastinate!

There’s no space for your address, so I just put mine in the comment section. We’ll see if it ever comes, but it only took 10 second to sign up for, so no harm if it flakes out.

[via the forums]

You can download the guide or opt to have it mailed to you.

Guess what’s back! The free Kraftmaid Kitchen Idea Book is here for a few hours today. It’s almost like a game for me to see if I can find it and post it each month before it quickly dies. This will mark the fourth month in a row that I managed to track it down, which is by far a personal best. I doubt there’s a world record, but dang it, there should be. Heck, finding freebies should be in the Olympics if you ask me! If golf and rhythmic gymnastics can earn people gold medals, I don’t see why I shouldn’t have a few hanging around my neck!

* I’m almost certain I’ve made that joke before and yet I can’t remember when! See, I’m not kidding, my memory is horrendous!

Long story short, I walked home that evening.

[via the forums]

1. Plus or minus 8,999,910 degrees.

You can tell it’s late in the day when you see this free Bounce Dryer Bar offer and start to wonder if it has alcohol in it. I believe it’s time to close this laptop and retire to the back porch with a new episode of The Bugle and some whiskey. And to think people complain that there’s nothing to do on Tuesday nights!

The freebie is from Viewpoints and unfortunately they don’t say if or how many freebies are still available. I hate when companies don’t let you know if the offer is valid or not, but oh well, I’m just a mere blogger who has no influence whatsoever with these companies. Or DO I?!¹ MWAHAHA!

1. Let’s see…oh, no, I don’t

The free Kraftmaid Kitchen Idea Book is back for a few hours today, but frankly, I would appreciate it more if Kraft just send me a maid. My sink apparently won’t clean my dishes for me. I could have sworn that was a right guaranteed in the Bill of Rights or 10 Commandments or something. Thou’s sink shall cleanse thy eating utensils nightly. Otherwise, thou shall be entitled to a free house-cleaner.

Yep, sounds right to me.

To get the book, you have to click “Request Idea Book” at the top of the page.

Yeah, that didn’t work.

You’ll want to click “Online Order Form” at the bottom of the page and then simply enter your info. There are some extra fields on the form that aren’t necessary, so don’t fret.

The proper offer is a $0.01 Single Sharpies coupon from Office Max that is available until August 8th, 2009