Hey, It’s Free!

EDIT: Hope you got your tree already, because this is now dead!

Yep, you read that headline correctly. In celebration of Arbor Day, you can get a free tree mailed to you to plant in your yard! Despite the website looking like it was built back in the late 90s, some people on the forums can vouch for it as they got trees from them last year. Unfortunately for me, I probably won’t be getting this as there’ll be no room for a tree in my yard. I’m not going to have even a single tree in mine. No grass, either! As a kid, I hated mowing the lawn, so I vowed that when I grew up, I’d get a yard with astroturf and just vacuum it from time to time. You know, on second though, maybe that’s not the smartest idea I’ve ever had.

[via the forums]

So it’s the new year already, which means that most people will be taking down their Christmas lights soon if they haven’t already. Although, if it was up to me, I’d just leave them up year round and just not turn them on. Then again, I think we now know why it’s not up to me So guys, let me paint a picture for you. Back in late November, the misses thought it’s be a great idea to put some lights up on the roof and after almost falling to your death at least seven or eight times, you got the lights up. Kudos! But now, it’s time to take them down and you have to go right back up there. Doh! So you get up on the roof, you pull out a screwdriver to start prying the staples loose, and just like that it falls out of your hands and onto the ground. Now you have to climb back down, probably reposition the ladder after realizing it wasn’t level to begin with, and then climb back up. Sounds like fun, huh? No, no it’s doesn’t. Well if you had this free Werner Tool Lasso, which clips to your belt, you wouldn’t have to worry about this happening to you! Gentlemen, you can thank me later in the form of power tools, beer, or power tools that shoot out beer.

[via the forums]

I go to school at UCF in Orlando, Florida. And there are a few simple rules about our campus. For most of y’all, these won’t make sense, but trust me, if you ever meet me down here, I’ll explain the list:

1) No matter what anyone calls that place in the union, it’ll never be Wack-a-Doos but always Locos.
2) To be in the Reflection Pond any day of the year other than Spirit Splash and not be caught and fined is a badge of honor.
3) They are not Nike and Hercules, they are AV and Phase II.
4) Whatever you do, do not feed the squirrels, they know where you live and will hunt you down and kill you, or at least steal all of your ramen and Easy Mac.

And its with that 4th rule that I have to post my latest solution to making sure the little buggers don’t get all of my cheap starchy goodness of doom–this free 1.5oz sample package of Squirrel Away.

Yes, my freebee loving friends, when this little package comes, I’ll be holding onto it like a 5′2″ skinny blonde tri-Delt holds onto her mace while walking through a parking garage at 10pm on a Thursday night. Possibly tighter, though. Our squirrels are vicious.

Authors note: This ws not meant to insult or harm anyone in any Greek organization or any North American Grey Squirrel. If you find said humor offensive, don’t worry, I didn’t think it was very funny either.

[via the forums]

Having finally finished the latest Harry Potter book (don’t worry, no spoilers will be leaked here), I can get back to my life. I had shunned the Internet, radio, TV, and basically all outside communication with the world in an effort to make sure I wasn’t spoiled to the ending. And now I’m feeling a little lethargic, as I haven’t left my house in about a week now. So I’ve just signed up for these free runners socks and maybe once I get them in a few weeks, I’ll finally venture outside and, you know, take part in this “exercise” stuff I keep hearing about.

[via Froggie]

Technorati Tags: free clothes, socks, running, runners, freebies

EDIT: This is now dead.

If you’re anything like me, you’re scared to death of opening that cabinet in the kitchen right above the microwave because you know the second you do, you’ll be buried in 900 free water bottles. They’ll come tumbling since you’ve stuffed way too many in there and then you’ll never be able to cram them all back in and meanwhile, you’re busy trying to pick which one you want to take to the park with you and finally you become too flustered and just plop back down in front of the computer to see what you can find on YouTube. What, I’m the only one who does this?

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: water bottle, freebie

Just in case that free National Guard atlas didn’t wet your traveling lips, here’s a free Best Western atlas and hotel guide. They’ve got three areas to choose from (North America, Europe, or Australia), so no matter where you go, you’ll be able to get yourself lost, have your family or friends yell at you for not being able to read a map correctly, and then stumble into the nearest Best Western hotel late at night. Sounds like a typical vacation to me!

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: free, atlas, best western, hotel, motel

I’m not sure what this free CLIF BAR training kit is actually training you for, but I’m always down for some miscellaneous exercise. Wait, did I say exercise? I meant to say lying in bed while surfing for freebies with my laptop, drinking a beer, and watching The Discovery Chanel. Luckily for me, I don’t need a freebie to do all that! Though I would like a free beer…

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: clif bar, training, exercise, couch potato

My grandma used to live right next to a driving range, which would have been the perfect place to use these free golf tees. Unfortunately, I’m banned from ever returning there since as a kid (ie, moronic high schooler with too much time on my hands), I used to wait until dusk, sneak down a few yards, strap on a football helmet, and then proceed to race around the range while waving my arms in the air and daring anybody to hit me. Somehow I never got beaned on the head and a few of my friends actually started joining me whenever Friday night was proving too dull for us, but that fun ended when the owner finally let his snarling Dobermans off their leashes. I tell ya, if you’ve never seen a pack of skinny white boys running for their lives while wearing oversized fishbowls on their heads, you missed your chance that night.

You know, now I think I understand why every time I play golf with my buddies, I end up in last place four holes into the course, get drunk, and wreck the golf cart while trying to joust with giant oak trees.

[via the forums]

I never was in Boy Scouts. When I went to one of their meetings with my father back in 4th or 5th grade, when my dad saw how much fishing that was done that he’d never do? We left pretty fast. Of course, that’s not to say that I don’t like my sushi… I do remember getting a football card from them.

Had I been in boy scouts, though, I might not need this free spider chart. And I might be able to tell you spiders other than Spiderman or a tarantula.

Until I receive this e-mail from them, however, I think I should just stay inside…

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: free, spider, chart, e-mail, boy scouts, spiderman, sushi

I’m not much of an animal hunter. I have, however, participated in many a human hunts as my teams main “Seeker” during late night games of Manhunt and Capture the Flag, so I think I’ll get myself this free Ducks Unlimited decal for my truck.

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: free, ducks unlimited, car, decal, stickers, hunting

Who knows if this aptly titled site offering free beach balls is legit or not, but I can’t help but sign up for it. Lately, it’s been above freezing for more than 48 hours where I live, let alone nice enough to actually wear shorts and a t-shirt. I can’t help but get in the springtime mood and tossing this free ball to myself as I sit in my “pool” (it’s just a bucket with water that I stand in) sounds like just the thing I need.

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: free, beach ball, fun, beaches, summer, spring, winter

If you’re a fan of the Colbert Report or ice cream, chances are you’ll love this freebie. On last night’s episode, Colbert unveiled his new Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor and long story short, Ben Cohen from TrueMajority.org said that anybody who went to the site would get a free foldable frisbee. Man, Colbert is so awesome. First he gets his own show, then he gets a bridge in Hungary, a minor league hockey team’s mascot, and an actual baby eagle all named after him before finally getting his own flavor of Ben & Jerry’s. When do I get a Goob flavored ice cream?!

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: free, freebie, frisbee, truemajority.org, ben & jerry’s, ben cohen, colbert report, stephen colbert

I love how the rage these days is to combine two random items, like this free carabiner / flashlight. How many times have YOU been rock climbing on the side of a mountain and thought to yourself, “Man, I really wish my carabiner had a flashlight on it so that I could turn it on and get a good look at whatever direction it happens to pointing in as it holds onto the rope supporting my life?” I know I think it all the time.

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: free, freebie, flashlight, carabiner, mountain climbing

I might not have a boat or even a lake nearby, but this free floating keychain is totally coming in the shower with me. You know, just so I don’t lose my keys while shampooing my hair or something. What, that doesn’t happen to everybody else?

[vis the forums]

Technorati Tags: free, freebie, keychain, floating, boating, water

EDIT: We got a dead one on our hands here, folks!

I love baseball. LOVE IT! God, I can’t wait for April! The pros start, spring arrives, intramural teams everywhere start calling the house, fantasy baseball drafts are held!! Go Mariners!!!!!!!

Oh, sorry. Like I was saying, I’m a baseball fan addict. In fact, I carry around a baseball with me most places and toss it to myself whenever I feel restless. But sometimes I have to find a substitute. Like a tennis ball or a softball or even a gold ball. So why not a free Qolf ball? Don’t ask me what a Qolf ball is, because I have no idea, but it looks cool and my right hand totally wants to start throwing it to his counterpart to the left.

[via the forums]

Technorati Tags: free, freebie, baseball, ball, golf, qolf

I’ve always dreamed of buying a huge chunk of land and retiring out in the middle of nowhere when I get older. And now, I’m one square inch loser to my dream, thanks to this free land I found. I picked my land up in South Carolina, but you can get it in any state in the country! No, you can’t sell it for profit and no, it’s not worth anything, but how many of your friends own land in Alaska? Or Montana? Hell, half of my friends don’t even own an umbrella, much less anything cool like free land!

Sherri just sent in this pretty nifty free Celestial Seasonings Herbal Expedition kit where they send you Peppermint and Chamomile Herb Tea samples, which allow you to plant them in a home garden and grow your very own tea. My mom has way too many plants as it is, so I plan on getting these and covertly replacing one of her existing plants with these tea samples. I wonder how long it will take her to notice she’s growing tea in her house

EDIT: Offer Now Dead

Well, seeing as how I got my free DHL atlas I posted a few months back, I thought it might be cool to pick up this free America’s byways map and stick it in the back of the atlas! It’s how I carry on my ongoing quest never to ask for directions once in my entire life!

Edit: This one’s down for the count as well.

In exchange for taking a short survey, you can get this little nifty gadget containing a compass, keylight, & whistle for your keyring. You know, I think after I get this freebie, the number of random items on my keychain will outnumber the keys 10-1.

Both myself and this freebie’s submitted (Thanks Jim!) had to turn to Google to learn just what in the world free Granular Humate was. Turns out it’s excellent fertilizer for garderns, plants, etc. So all your green thumbs out there might enjoy this! But if your thumb is literally green, you might want to have that checked out by a doctor of something. It might be seriously infected!