Freebies and free stuff

A few eagle-eyed Hiffers¹ pointed out that in addition to the free poster I wrote about earlier, there’s a free Kraken Rum book available. Hopefully it’s not as sparse as the preview on-line, but either way, it looks cool and I’ll happily stick it upon my shelf no matter what.

One of these days I’ll be able to put my own book right beside it! The only problem is that I haven’t quite gotten around to finishing it. So far, all I’ve written is, “It was a dark and stormy night. They lived happily ever after.” Now I just need some filler for the middle and it’s off to the New York Times Best Sellers list!

1. Whether or not they have actual eagle eyes has not been confirmed. [↩]

EDIT: Some astute Hiffers have pointed out that this does not go towards the shipping cost. Sorry for missing that earlier!

As seen on the Ellen Show recently, there will be 100,000 free $15 gift codes released each week until November 13, 2009 for the Kodak Gallery store. They have a ton of items for under $15, so if you shop around, you should be able to get something for free.

My mom is probably sick of all the photo albums I’ve given her as gifts over the years, but too bad! They’re full of happy, loving childhood photos of me and my siblings and she’s gonna have to cherish them whether she likes it or not!

If you live in the nine states below (not all of them, just one), then you can get a free Red Gold tote bag. I wasn’t able to sign up since I’m on the east coast, but I figure some of the Hiffers in the middle of the country might be able to put this to good use.

Oh yeah, the valid states. IL, KS, MI, MN, MO, OH, OK and WI or as I call them collectively, ilksmimnmoohokwi. It sounds just like it looks.

Pepboys has a coupon available for a free Seasonal Prep Evaluation that doesn’t expire until 10/31 and is worth $29.98 in free maintenance.

• Check Exterior Lights
• Check Wipers
• Complete Coolant System Evaluations
• Battery/Starting/and Charging System Evaluation

Is any of that stuff really needed? I don’t know, it seems like they’re just trying to get you into the store so that they can sell you some more services. Then again, I’m the guy who drove his car for 7,000 miles without an oil change in high school, so what the heck do I know?

I have some friends who might enjoy a free Make Marijuana Legal sticker. Then again, they’d probably have trouble peeling the back off and end up staring at it for a few hours.

I need some new friends.

EDIT: They’re now charging $0.95 for shipping, so this offer is dead.

These free feel your boobies stickers have been the only things to make me smile in the past 48 hours. What can I say, I’m still a third-grader at heart.

For those of you wondering, this is also a breast cancer related freebie that is looking to raise awareness.

EDIT: I got an email saying this was no longer available, but I suspect that it still is. I’ll hunt for a new link when I’m feeling better tomorrow.

If you sign up with CVS’ photo center (click the banner above), you’ll get up to 50 free photo prints that you can pick up at your local store. I was gonna give it a whirl just now but I have no idea where my camera is and my body is too sore to move. In fact, I know I recently asked any Hiffers who are scientist to invent edible shampoo, but I’d really appreciate it if they suspended research on that and instead developed a cure for whatever is ravaging my lungs right now. Some people say it’s the flu, but I’m pretty certain it’s a mutant alien species.

The title on this free (red) badge page says “Badge Yourself Red.” While setting up this post, I started saying that out loud over and over. It quickly started to sound like “Badger Self Read,” and it didn’t take long for me to then picture a badger lounging in an easy chair and reading a book. There’s a fire crackling in the background, he’s wearing a robe and small pair of reading glasses, and there’s even a glass of wine sitting on the table. He’s an refined badger, unlike those crazy wild ones.

I don’t know why but that image makes me laugh and I hope everyone out there is now picturing the same image in their head. You’re welcome!

If you join Walgreens’ Facebook group, then you’ll be offered an opportunity to get a free photo book this Friday, October 2. The catch is that you’ll have to pay a, quote, “small shipping fee” which hasn’t been revealed yet. Still, it might be worth looking into as it could make a nice (and cheap!) Christmas present.

I love sushi. I really truly do. There’s so much complexity to it that the fact that I’m going to get some reusable (read: plastic) chopsticks and some brochures about using ocean caught seafood over farmed seafood in this free sushi advocacy kit? Sounds good.

What amuses me, though, is the brochures are to have a conversation with my local sushi chef. Last time I tried to speak to him, he just brandished his knife my way and that was the end of that!

Geez, what is with this Saturday and freebies? The free Whip It movie screening is the fourth freebie available tomorrow. I don’t usually post movie screenings, but this offer is available in a few dozen large cities. You can RSVP online, but I wasn’t able to as there aren’t any screenings in my tiny town. But feel bad for me, there’s plenty to do around here. Why just last week we got our third stop light! Some friends and I are gonna go watch it change colors tonight. Friday nights don’t get much better than that!

Here’s the movie trailer in case you haven’t seen any commercials for it yet.

I post these free McCruelty mask & stickers from PETA only because the mask is pretty darn creepy. Plus it’s just in time for Halloween! I can’t wait to scare a few … Wait a minute …

McDonald’s. McCruelty. Oh, I see what you did there! Man, PETA, that is Clever with a capital c. Who thought of this idea?! Give that a person a raise – immediately! Oh man, it’s just so witty! I should probably go ahead and retire from writing, because there’s no way I’ll ever be able to top that little play on words! …

If you happen to have a location nearby, you may be interested in this coupon for a free BJs 60-day trial membership that doesn’t expire until 12/31. They only have stores in 15 states, so I wouldn’t be surprised if some Hiffers don’t find this useful.

You know, when I open my own brick-and-mortar company one day, I’ll build a store in every town in America! That way, anybody anywhere can visit one of my stores and participate in a freebie. I won’t even bother with all of those nerdy things like “return on investments” or “profit margins.” Who cares about that stuff?!

*KAPERRRZ* A time machine suddenly appears, future Goob steps forth and punches current Goob in the face while muttering something about potential investors digging up this post in the future.

If you’ve got any rolls of undeveloped film lying around, you might want to consider taking advantage of Walgreens free 4×6 film developing offer today. There’s a coupon you can print, but some Hiffers who emailed said the same coupon is found in the store circular available as you walk in.

I’ve got an undeveloped disposable camera with pictures from the 4th of July, but I’m not sure I want to see the photos. Something tells me that a camera + grilling and drinking with adults letting loose = photos that best remain unseen. And that’s not even taking into consideration that most of the people involved are family members!

[via Maria - thanks!]

Posting this free OMG GOP WTF?! sticker is a true testimonial to my credo to post any legitimate freebie, despite what I personally think about it. It’s not the lobbyist group that bothers me, but the anagrams! Reading a text message from one of my siblings is like trying to decipher the Rosetta Stone by only using a German enigma machine. I’ll spend 5 minutes typing out a paragraph to them and within 15 seconds receive a reply that looks as if they typed it while trying to kill a spider on their keyboard.

The best part is the incredulous look they give me when confronted. “What do you mean you don’t know what ‘idkcmaswss’ means? It obviously stands for ‘I don’t know, call Mom and see what she says.’” This is usually followed by an eye roll and slight chuckle that can only be interpreted in one way – that I’m the idiot in this equation.