Freebies and free stuff

To the 14 Pittsburgh Pirates fans out there, I’ve got great news! You can get free tickets! All you have to do is sign up, pick which game you want to attend, and there will then be one free Infield Grandstand ticket waiting for you at Will Call on the day of the game. They even give you the option of purchasing discounted tickets next to your free seat, if you so choose. Then again, there’s not much stopping your friends from all picking the same game and getting in for free as well. Of course, it’s all a moot argument since nobody wants to go watch the Pirates play in the first place.

Ok, sorry Pirates fans. I love the Mariners, so I follow an equally crappy team. We’re all losers in this equation.

I’m not much of an outdoors type: the sun’s too bright, all that fresh air is stifling, and who in the world thought it was a good idea to let bugs just roam free in the wild?! That said, there are some decent new magazines available for anybody who enjoys exercise and social contact.

• free Diving & Resort magazine subscription
• free Wake Boarding magazine subscription
• free Wind Surfing magazine subscription
• free Tennis magazine subscription

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to hop in my giant bubble and get back to becoming the palest human ever.

And the free baseball ticket offers keep coming in! This time we’ve got free Atlanta Braves tickets for anybody on their birthday, which is doubly awesome because I can add this to our massive free birthday freebies list. If you’re interested in this offer, be sure to check the fine print because there are deadlines based on what month your birthday is in. I’d try and summarize them for ya, but I’ve yet to gulp down my daily required caffeine intake, so the old brain isn’t…uh…braining yet.

Click below to find out what other current free baseball ticket offers are going on.

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It’s been almost three weeks since the start of the professional baseball season (and since I wrote about all of the free MLB Kids Clubs offers) and there’s one general consensus: nobody can afford tickets anymore! While this might stink for the owners, it’s perfect for us, as the Texas Rangers and Baltimore Orioles are now offering free tickets. If you’re a fan of either team, all you have to do is vote for the team as your “favorite” or “other favorite” club at least 25 times between April 22 and July 2. I think you can make one vote per day, so if you start now you could have it done by the end of May.

The Rangers are giving away two free tickets while the Orioles are only giving away one. I’ll be sure to keep my eyes peeled for any other team offering a similar promotion. Be sure to read the respective terms and conditions on the team sites for more info.

There’s a new promotion out where the first 1,000 people to text GILLETTE to 56418 during each New York Yankees game will receive a code redeemable for a free Gillette Fusion razor. In the event that you follow one of the 29 far superior baseball teams out there, here’s a copy of the Yankees’ schedule.

I ticked the “sports” category ever so precariously, but I digress. If you have an AMF bowling lane nearby, you should certainly sign up for their free AMF eClub which comes with a coupon good for one free game of bowling for up to 10 people. Of course, if you’re going bowling with nine other people, it might be a smart idea for all of you to sign up for this.

Although how long would it take to play ten games with ten people each? A week? My family and friends can’t even get through the third frame before somebody inevitable ventures down the lane to “fix” a stuck pin. Then halfway through the fifth frame, somebody tries to cheat and change their score. Mayhem quickly ensues and meanwhile I excuse myself to the local bar.

Yep, sounds about right.

What’s the over/under on how many more times there will be a free Prilosec OTC offer this year? 38? You might want to go ahead and bet the kid’s college fund on the over. Then again, I’m a degenerate gambler, so you might not want to take my advice.

If a free heartburn relief sample isn’t enough for you, this offer also comes with a free … Brett Favre trading card? *looks at the website to double-check* … Yeah, looks like it. They must have been out of letter openers, melon ballers, or any other number of random gifts.

I absolutely love baseball, so I didn’t mind the sign up process for this free Baseball Digest subscription. There are two or three pages where it asks if you want to sign up for any additional magazines (I didn’t) and then you’ll be taken to the final subscription form. Trying to decide what industry I work in was a bit hard as well. You’d think they’d have an option for “Freebie Hunter,” but I had to break down and pick “Other.”

I have a feeling this free golf putter grip will do absolutely nothing to improve my game. Some might argue that’s because my golf skills are on par with a drunken monkey’s, but those people only see the glass as being half empty. I like to instead focus on all the improvements I’ve made over the years. For instance, I no longer try to run over my friends with the golf cart and I can now say “who invented this fraking sport” in twelve different languages!

Progress is a beautiful thing, my friends.

Baseball is ten times the sport football is. There, I said it. I’m sick and tired of pretending that football is the greatest American innovation and that baseball has long since been relevant, let alone exciting. Call me crazy, (on second though, hold off) but baseball freaking rocks. And it starts during the spring! That’s like taking a giant birthday cake and dumping a pan of brownies on it. Tell me that wouldn’t be the best cake ever. You could probably slather some icing on top of them and then bust out the ice cream before…

Wait, where was? Oh yeah, baseball. It’s here! And you know what? Some of the Major League teams offer free kids programs. I’ve included as many as I could find in the post below and will update this as/if more become available. Some of the offers are clearly better than others, so here’s to hope your kids favorite team is listed below with some cool freebies.

Arizona Diamondbacks No Chew Club

This one won’t be available until April and they don’t say what you’ll get, but it’s going to be free, so it’s worth bookmarking and coming back to next month. They also have a free Kid’s Club where you can earn points for going to games and such.

Baltimore Orioles Birdland Package

1. Register below and Orioles.com will e-mail you a voucher good for one (1) FREE Upper Reserve Ticket to see one (1) Orioles 2009 regular season non-prime home game during your birth month.
2. After you register for yourself, you can then register on behalf of your child by filling out the “Birthday Celebrant Information” below to help them celebrate their special day! It’s our way of helping you create your own Orioles Magic.

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I never really watched golf growing up. My dad had a perfect saying for why he never played: “Why am I going to chase a little white ball around, knocking it into a hole, and then doing it all over again?” For me, I agree with him and only play mini golf. Especially if its a pirate themed one.

But for African-American history month, it seems that Titleist is getting on-board and giving away a free copy of “Uneven Lies: The Heroic Story of African-Americans in Golf” by Pete McDaniel. Well, there may be no pirates, and the golf might not be mini, but sure, I’ll give it a whirl!

[via the forums]

If you guessed this free Dime magazine subscription has something to do with money, then you get an F in Magazine Title Interpretation 101. Isn’t it clear that Dime = Basketball? Yeah, it wasn’t to me either. I probably didn’t make the connection because I stink at basketball. The last time I played was in middle school and coincidentally it’s during a game that I got the nickname Goob.

I was actually a huge star. Every time I stepped onto the court, the crowd would go wild and start screaming “Gooooooob!” Someone later informed me that they were actually saying “Booooooo,” but I’m pretty sure I know what I heard.

EDIT: This is no longer available.

These free sports cards will make for a fantastic stocking stuffer if they get here in time for Christmas. Otherwise, I’m sure they’ll make a good Happy Second Tuesday of January present or at the very least a great Happy Groundhog Day gift. What, y’all don’t celebrate those holidays?

In case you’re having trouble with this freebie, simply add it to your shopping cart and proceed to check out. It’ll let you bypass the payment screen, so all you need is an address and e-mail.

In the wake of all of the political bumper stickers and other stickers that we’ve been finding left and right its great to finally have a non-partisan sticker like this free Team Chevy decal.

Of course, I guess I shouldn’t call it non-partisan since there’s a Team Ford out there…

[via the forums]

Unfortunately, the second word in the title above only contains two n’s, which means this is just a free water bottle from Canon. I think we all can agree it would have been much cooler if this was a “cannon water bottle.” I could go either way with it too: it could be a cannon that shoots water bottles or a water bottle in the shape of a cannon.

You know, the next President should make a new Cabinet position titled Secretary of Awesome Ideas and then give me a call. I wouldn’t even mind being placed near the bottom of the line of succession!

Oh yeah, this freebie does require a nine question survey about the last time you contacted Canon’s customer service department. I’ve owned so many different computers over the years that I’m sure I’ve contacted them at least once before.

[via Hunt 4 Freebies]