Freebies and free stuff

There are two random mail-in freebies available in even randomer (it’s a word! Kinda…) states. First up is this free Newcastle Brown pub glass. You’re meant to send in six bottlecaps in order to get it, however the form lists certain states where that’s not necessary:

AL, AR, AZ, CA, CT, HI, KY, ME, MN, MO, NC, OH, OR, PA, SD, UT, and WV

If you live in any of those states, then simply send in the form and you should get your glass by September. Next up is Michelob ULTRA’s free golf balls. Again, if you live in any of the states below, then print out their form and mail it in.

AL, AR, CT, HI, KY, MA, ME, MN, MO, NC, NJ, NY, RI, SD, UT, VA, and WV

Chances of me getting both of these while only ever using the pub glass: 100%

[thanks Eve and Florance!]

Any Texas Rangers fans out there? I’ve got one thing to say to you: boooooooo! Hey, stop mocking my horrible ghost impression. I’m not trying to scare you, I’m trying to trash talk.

Of course, I still want you to get two free Texas Rangers tickets. All you have to do is vote for the 2010 All-Star Game at MLB.com and select the Rangers as a “favorite” or “other favorite” Club more than 20 times between now and Thursday, July 1. You’ll then get two free $25 tickets via e-mail the week of July 19.

Baseball’s opening day is less than a week away, which means my ability to focus and stay on point has vanished. The mere thought of baseball makes me giddy and distracts me from more important things like working, eating, and blinking.

Last year there were four or five MLB freebies throughout the season, but it looks like more clubs have stepped up this season. Most of the clubs below are aimed at children, but they often include tickets to a non-prime game, which means you won’t have to watch those Damn Yankees!

Baltimore Orioles: Birthday Club

• Get a free ticket to celebrate your birthday. This is valid for children and adults alike!

Chicago White Sox: Slugger Kids Club

• Official membership certificate
• Official welcome postcard from AL Rookie of the Year finalist Gordon Beckham
• White Sox shoelaces
• White Sox temporary tattoos
• White Sox posts
• Two ticket coupons redeemable for Upper Reserved seat tickets to regular-priced games

Cleveland Indians: KeyBank High Achievers Kids Club

• Official Membership/Redemption Card
• Official Welcome Letter from Indians Centerfielder Grady Sizemore
• One half hour of private playtime on the Gateway Plaza Kids Land during KeyBank Sunday Kids Fun Days, starting two and a half hours before game time
• Chance to earn free tickets by reading three books, maintaining A’s & B’s, etc.

Florida Marlins: Billy’s Bunch Kids Club for kids 12 and under who live in Miami-Dad, Broward, Palm Beach, Collier and Monroe counties. Residents living elsewhere in Florida pay $2.95 shipping. Residents living outside of Florida pay $9.95.

• Official 2010 Bill’s Bunch membership card
• Welcome letter from Billy the Marlin
• Two free vouchers to attend a 2010 Marlins game
• Billy the Marlin wall flag
• Billy’s Bunch drawstrings bag
• Billy’s Bunch Sports water bottle
• Cody Ross poster

Kansas City Royals: Free pocket schedule.

Los Angeles Dodgers: Jr. Dodgers Kids Club and a free pocket schedule.

• Membership Card
• First access to the all new Jr. Dodgers Training Days
• Newsletters
• Special Offers from Sponsors
• Exclusive access to Jr. Dodgers Experiences including
• VIP access to select Kids Run the Bases events
• The chance to take the field with your favorite Dodgers
• The chance to announce “It’s Time for Dodgers Baseball” before a Dodgers home game
• The chance to be a guest reporter for the Jr. Dodgers Newsletter

Pittsburgh Pirates: Bucaroos Kids Club

• Four complimentary member-only ticket vouchers (valid with the purchase of at least one (1) adult ticket)
• Membership Card with Lanyard
• Drawing to be included in the member-only autograph sessions during the 2010 season
• Invitation to the back-to-school Bucaroos on-field march on August 22nd
• Web-based newsletters and e-mails about other Pirates/Bucaroos special events

San Diego Padres: Junior Padres Kids Club (registration will open shortly)

• Junior Padres membership card
• Padres Lanyard
• Two discount ticket vouchers
• An invitation to Field Day, Sunday, October 3, 2010
• One free child’s admission to the Reuben H. Fleet Science Center
• Unlimited free child’s admission to the San Diego Hall of Champions Museum
• Head-of-the-line privileges for Kids Run the Bases (select Sundays)
• Exclusive access to Junior Padres Sunday Signings

Washington Nationals: Junior Nationals Kids Club

• Plastic Membership Card
• Kids Run the Bases after select Sunday home game (ages 4-12)
• Nationals lanyard
• Meet and Greet with the Racing Presidents and Screech

Know of any I missed? Want to predict how many games the Mariners will win this year? Then comment away!

To celebrate Valentine’s Day, Brunswick is offering free bowling coupons that are valid between 2/14 and 2/28. Shoe rentals aren’t included, though if you need somebody to come throw a few gutter balls for you, I’m your man.

Bowling and I do not go together. I have a blast doing it, but I’m the guy who scores under 100 while using bumpers.

If you’re as big an Olympic geek as I am, you’ll probably enjoy this free Vancouver Olympics 2010 journal. You can’t actually sign up for it now, but instead reserve a spot to get an e-mial with shipping details on Feb. 1st.

It’s probably the closest I’ll ever come to being an actual Olympian. I thought about spending years training for the Bobsled team, but then I remembered I get winded while walking to my mailbox every afternoon.

These free Brunswick bowling coupons are meant to be given out at Halloween treats, but take my word for it: coupons taste horrible!

I very tentatively checked the “sports” category, I might add.

EDIT: Whoops, I forgot to add a link to their locations page.

Even though the site says it’s a free issue of Baseball America magazine, I’ve been getting a free subscription for over a year now. Maybe there was a technical glitch or a clerical error, but there’s only one way to find out of you too will get a free subscription. Call your local psychic!

No wait, that’s not right. I always mess these things up!

These free USA soccer stickers are only available to the first 25,000 people, which is just around the threshold for what I’ll post. I plan on using mine to cover up one of the many dents in my truck. In fact, I’ve got so many different stickers on it, most people think I’m part of a stock car racing league. Unfortunately, there aren’t any leagues where the speed limit is 30 MPH, which is what my truck can safely top out at without any parts falling off.

Last month, Aerie gave out free Shimmer Mist every Thursday just for stopping in, which quite a few Hiffers took advantage of. Well it turns out that this month, they’ve giving out a free Aerie Gym bag, which retails for $15! The only downside to this is that you’ll have to start going to the gym.

You might want to call ahead and make sure your local store has some left in supply before heading there. Also, make sure you realize that this is only valid on Thursdays, which isn’t until tomorrow.

To the 14 Pittsburgh Pirates fans out there, I’ve got great news! You can get free tickets! All you have to do is sign up, pick which game you want to attend, and there will then be one free Infield Grandstand ticket waiting for you at Will Call on the day of the game. They even give you the option of purchasing discounted tickets next to your free seat, if you so choose. Then again, there’s not much stopping your friends from all picking the same game and getting in for free as well. Of course, it’s all a moot argument since nobody wants to go watch the Pirates play in the first place.

Ok, sorry Pirates fans. I love the Mariners, so I follow an equally crappy team. We’re all losers in this equation.