EDIT: It looks like these are gone now.
When signing up for this free Crest Complete sample pack from Oprah (don’t ask), you need to (A) pretend you watch OWN Network, (B) deny the existence of male genitalia, (C) say you have children, (D) say that you consider yourself the household CEO (wtf?!), and (E) take out my trash. I made one of those up. I really wish it was the household CEO part.
Seriously though, what the frak do companies have against dudes getting freebies? My alter ego Goobina gets more freebies than I do at this point.