EDIT: Looks like this offer has been flushed down the toilet.
Thanks to everybody who emailed me this evening to point out that Walmart is currently giving away free Scott double roll toilet paper as well as flushable wipes. The wipes actually come in a 10-pack, which is the perfect size for your purse or glove box. Unfortunately they won’t fit in my tiny wallet. The darn thing is so small, it can’t even hold my keys, let alone all the other things I carry on a daily basis: cell phone, pen, notepad, iPod, hairbands, spare socks, gum, HIF stickers, trumpet, business cards, UFO identification chart, 1800’s style pocket watch, coloring book with crayons, a baseball, and pretty much anything else I see lying around on my way out the door. I don’t wear baggy pants because of the way they look – I wear them out of necessity!