Fan Ritz on Facebook and get a free pack of Ritz Munchables Pretzel Crisps. I can’t say that I’ve ever really understood the allure of munchable or snackable or bite size food. I’ve never had any trouble munching on regular sized Ritz crackers.

Don’t forget to become a fan of Hey, It’s Free while you’re at it. You won’t get any free food, but you may get to see a rare glimpse of Goob making an unwarranted status update while inebriated one Saturday night! It’s what my friends know as a typical text message from me.

These free U by Kotex samples got me wondering what my mail lady must think I do. One day I’m getting seemingly normal freebies for a single guy in his twenties and the next I’m getting Parents magazine and a box of Kotex items. Sure, I could try talking to her, but I still haven’t found a smooth way of saying, “oh, by the way, I don’t actually use all of those tampons!”

This freebie includes the following samples:

• 1 U by Kotex CleanWear Regular Pad
• 1 U by Kotex barely there Liner
• 2 U by Kotex Click Regular Tampons

This Daylight Saving business is really messing me up. I overslept today plus I was late returning my Redbox last night. Sure, I was three hours late in both cases, but focusing on that would be ignoring the greater fact that I want to blame my sleepiness on Congress!

Though, until I figure how best to do so, I’ll keep setting an alarm and renting free movies. In fact, if you become a fan of Redbox on Facebook, you’ll get a free Redbox rental code that will be good on Wednesday, March 17.

I thought this week was going to be slow, but it picked up on Thursday and Friday when about half of the freebies above arrived. The diaper and baby formula will be a perfect way for me to introduce my friend’s baby to freebies. They’re wasting their time teaching her to say “momma” and “daddy,” but I’m determined to teach her “freebies” first. I guess I’d settle for “Goob” as a consolation.

Freebies Received

• $10 Pillsbury coupon booklet – All of the General Mills coupon booklets are still available through Coupons.com. Simply click on “Entertainment” and you’ll be able to sign up for them.
• Lever 2000 soap
• ZonePerfect Indulgence Nutrition Square
• Box of Enfamil baby formula (you can print out a certificate immediately. Registering on their site is how they can then send you the box.)
• Purex Complete 3-in-1 laundry sheet
• Coupon for free Reese’s Pieces
• Two Yogi tea bags (again)
• UnderJams diaper
• Coupon for free package of Borden cheese
• Cream of Wheat
• April 2010 issue of Parents magazine
• Spring 2010 issue of Search Marketing Standard magazine
• March 2010 issue of Dime magazine

So what all did you get this week?

If you’ve been itching for some more free classical music, then you may enjoy this X5 Free Classical Sampler – Chopin 200 Years. It’s not actually 200 years long, but instead contains about 30 minutes worth of classic Chopin music. Not to be confused with Chaplin music. I thought this might be some long-lost stand-up of his.

Next up is an NPR music at SXSW sampler on iTunes. It contains 11 songs from random artists, so hopefully you’ll find at least one or two that you enjoy.

At tomorrow’s free Lowe’s Build & Grow Clinic, your kids will be able to build a free tabletop basketball set from 10-11am. Sure, it’s no LowesBot, but it’ll provide the perfect excuse to throw a ball around at your desk and not get any work done.

As usual, space is limited, so you may need to register on-line beforehand.

[via the freebie calendar]

Today’s Try Your Luck Thursday was getting a little heavy on trips, so I went hunting for some contests with gift prizes. Then I took a break for lunch at which point I got distracted by a funny looking bird by my window. Long story short, if you win any of the sweepstakes below, you’re probably going someplace.

If this winter’s weather has gotten you down, then go for this 3 day Whitewater Trip on the Snake River through Hells Canyon. Speaking of which, we need to bring back the practice of naming things with awesome titles. The next planet we discover should be named Rock of Doom. Ends May 10.

All musicians might love a new Fender guitar worth $1099. Ends April 22.

I have no idea who this 10 year old Justin Bieber is, but you can hang out with him and Ryan Seacrest at Disneyland. That doesn’t really sound like a prize at all to me. Ends March 19.

As always, Rachael Ray has a boatload of giveaways, including a $50 Best Buy gift card, some books, and an oven lovin’ set. Various end dates.

Finally, I included the monogrammed barware set below, but Point Click Home has a large sweepstakes page. They’re giving away a cast-iron skillet, TITAN luggage, and maybe two dozen more prizes. Various end dates.

1. Trip to 2010 FIFA World Cup (05/01)
2. GarageVac (06/14)
3. Trip for two to Vegas & VIP Nascar tickets (04/11)
4. Trip to California, a guitar, and a jam session with Matt Costa (04/11)
5. $1,000 spa package from Oprah (04/05)
6. Personalized monogrammed bar set (05/07)
7. Trip for two to Stockholm, Sweden (07/31)
8. One Year of Organic Valley products (06/30)
9. HD TV (06/19)
10. Sonare flute, ARV $1700 (03/31)
11. One of four trips to Virginia (04/09)
12. Outdoor travel gear (06/01)
13. Lots of women’s outdoor gear (05/31)
14. Jamz High Performance In-Ear Headphones (04/07)
15. GSI Outdoors Ultralight Backpacker cookware kit (06/01)
16. Trip for four to New Orleans (06/20)
17. Trip to Universal Orlando’s Harry Potter World (06/01)
18. 12×18 Thomas Kinkade Disney painting (03/31)
19. $200 American Express gift card (05/14)
20. Trip for two to Vegas & Barry Manilow tickets (03/17)
21. Crosley Archive portable turntable & 10 vinyl albums (04/16)

Sam’s Club’s head of marketing is ticked off again! She’s demanding a member ID for these free Pampers Dry max diapers, so I take it she had another rough morning. Perhaps another pet was introduced to the electric razor or maybe while in the shower, her bed became the scene of a new Jackson Pollock painting.

You know, her imaginary kids sound pretty wild. I think they need a night or two of Babysitter Goob to whip them into shape. I’m like Mary Poppins, but instead of singing and dancing, I use pranks and scary voices to inflict terror. Which means I’m actually nothing like Mary Poppins at all.

If you had trouble accessing the earlier Sam’s Club freebies, try using this alternate link.

[via Chris, who I now believe is the sentient form of Sam's Club's website.]

With this free Everlast supplement, you get to choose from Energy or Recovery. I went with recovery, because I’m hoping that if I use it despite not exercising, maybe I can trick my body into thinking I exercised. It’s part of my long-term goal to get in shape without ever working out.

I’d be happy to share my results so far, but that will have to wait for later as I’m getting winded typing this post.

The only freebies that I routinely get through company newsletters are these free Blockbuster Express Rental Codes. A code of GA13B1 was sent out today and it expires on 3/24. If you rent movies from these kiosks frequently, you might want to consider signing up for the newsletter.

Actually, wait, don’t do that. Why am I helping make my job obsolete? Ignore my previous advice and, uh, instead get rid of your computer! There, now you can’t sign up for that newsletter.

Wait a minute, then you can’t read HIF. Ugh, I honestly never got the hang of this self-promotion business.

EDIT: There’s also a code of G213A1, but that is good for today only (Wednesday, March 10).