Hey, It’s Free!

I hardly ever post any freebies available only to our Canadian neighbors, but I feel it’s time to offer them some free Folgers coffee. This makes me wonder if their Folgers coffee is better than ours somehow. What’s up, Folgers? Why only offer this to Canadians? Are you putting gold bars in theirs or giving them the “real” coffee? I smell a conspiracy!

Oh no, wait, that was just the dog I was smelling. False alarm, everybody!

[via Pru]

Tracy from Candle-Samples.com has graciously offered to give away free candle samples to anybody who wants one. I just hope they don’t smell like food, because every time I get a chocolate or vanilla scented candle and burn it, I get hungry and eat everything I can get my hands on.

Including the candle wax once…that wasn’t a pretty sight…

There’s a chance that this free Pero Instant Natural Beverage won’t come since it looks like it’s from a small Ma & Pop type company, but I’m willing to take the risk. Why? Because I think it’s time for me to admit that I’m addicted to caffeine. If I don’t drink at least twenty gallons of coffee a day, I basically turn into a blob of incompetence. I need to start waning myself off this stuff and I figure a freebie is the best way to start!

[via Moose]

The U.S. Fire Administration (what the heck is that?) apparently gives away not only four different “fire prevention” posters, but they also have a whole plethora of DVDs, pamphlets, and a whole array of other goodies.

I didn’t order any since I’m a bit paste the stage where I put posters on my wall, but I’m sure there are a few parents out there who might be interested in getting a few for their kids. It’s either these or a bunch of Hannah Montana & High School Musical posters, which incidentally are the #1 source of fires in the Goob household. I can’t stand those freaking things and watching them burn is fun!

[via Moose]

EDIT: Guess what’s wrong with this freebie now. I’ll give you a clue. It rhymes with “bed.”

Every minute I waste typing up a description for this free Biore Daily Recharging sample is a minute closer to Wal Mart killing it, so I’ll shut up now and let everybody get to, uh, recharging?

Wait, this product is called “Daily Recharging?” Isn’t that what sleep is for? Sorry, I forgot that I promised to be quiet.

Raise your hand if your energy bill was over a gazillion dollars last month. Hopefully I’m the only fool with his hand in the air, but I have a feeling there are others out there like me. Thankfully fellow Hiffer Nick has our backs, as he sent in this free GE Caulk.

I’m no Bob Vila, but I think you can use this stuff to better insulate / seal things like your windows, thus lowering the amount of cold air you pump out to the neighborhood for free. Then again, maybe I’m totally off on this and am about to ruin a few of my windows. Anybody care to leave a comment with some advice?

[via Nick]

Apparently Oprah is getting into the on-line freebie business, as the free Suze Orman book below came from her as did this free Murad Resurgence sample. Now, I love books and goop to smear on my skin, but I could really use a new car, Oprah. Hint, hint. You see what I’m saying here? I need a new car!

Hopefully she gets the message. Now it’s time to sit back and wait for the best freebie ever.

Last Thursday, I put away my laptop with the hope of getting 24 hours of uninterrupted time with my family. It’s now Tuesday morning and I have no idea where the last five days went! I remember some fireworks, lots of laughter, plenty of grilled food, and approximately 9 trillion coolers of beer. I don’t even know how much money I spent recently. I probably should read this free Suze Orman e-book and get a few lessons in not buying a ton of crap.

[via Amanda]

I think there are more freebies aimed at women than there are at men, case in point this free Ponds towelette for makeup removal. I’m seriously considering becoming a drag queen simply so I can use a higher percentage of the freebies I find.

[via the forums]

Again, like my previous post, this is another baby freebie since that Baby To Bee freebie I posted a few days ago stunk. This time we’ve got some free Parent’s Choice baby formula, which seems like a pretty obvious name to me. Who else is going to choose the baby formula? The baby? If so, that’s one freaking smart baby. It wasn’t until I was three before I started putting things in the shopping cart and it sure wasn’t baby formula! I was was certain if I bought enough Captain Crunch that he’d let me go sailing with him.

[via the forums]

Since that Baby To Bee freebie I posted a few days ago seems to be crap, here’s a free Luvs Welcome Kit that comes with a $5 off coupon, a coloring book, and a magnet. That seems like a pretty random group of items, especially for a diaper freebie, but then again I just signed my 10 year old sister up for it. She may not wear diapers any more, but dang it if she’s already bored with summer and needs something more to color!

[via Moose]

Is there a vitamin for taking too many vitamins? If so, I need to find it and subscribe a dose for a few of my family members. Remember how in X-Men or Heroes all of the mutant humans were explained as having evolved? Yeah, I think some of the people I know are hoping to speed up that process by taking a dump truck’s load worth of vitamins every day. And heck, I’m gonna fuel that addiction and tell them about this 14 day supply of free Nature Made vitamins.

Why? Because I’m sick of driving and walking everywhere, dang it! I was promised a hover car by this point in my life and if I can’t have one of those, I’ll settle for a family member who can fly and shoot lasers out of their eyes.

[via the forums]

I always wanted to be an explorer. The thought of finding new civilizations and uncharted lands sounded like a good time to me. Then I realized I was extremely lazy, so I went to my backup plan, which I still think is pretty darn good. There’s so much to explore in my own home! Just yesterday, I was exploring under my couch for the ancient Lost Cheese Doodle and I found a nickle! Tomorrow I plan on venturing into the mysterious Laundry Room that I’ve heard so much about. I think we can all agree the winner in this equation is me.

On, yeah, the freebie that sparked this moronic diatribe was this free Explorer’s Bounty coffee that I just found

I had never heard of World Market before, but according to their store locator they’re all over the place. I guess that means I can actually get one of these free 100% cotton tote bags.

I don’t think you actually have to print the image I linked above though. On World Market’s main website, they have this image that simply says come on into their store and get a free bag. So I’d use the store locator and call ahead just to make sure of the specifics. I hate it when a company’s website has conflicting instructions! But I try not to complain, because, hey…it’s free!

[via Moose]

EDIT: Hope y’all got the tacos, because this is dead now.

I’m glad I just heard about this one, because it’s good for today only. If you bring in a gas receipt to any Jack In The Box restaurant, you can get two free tacos. I’ve never had a Jack In The Box taco, but who knows, maybe they’re awesome. Here’s a store locator if you’re not sure whether or not you have a joint nearby.

[via pbchicknz]

I’m not sure if this free GOJO hand cleaner is a Canadian freebie only, but it accepted my US mailing address so I guess we’ll see. I remember my dad always kept something similar to this in the garage (heck, it might actually have been this stuff!) and it will take ANYTHING off your hands. It really smells like citrus as well, to the point where it seems like you’re just rubbing a smashed up orange all over your hand. You know, if fruit prices weren’t so high, I’d go get my hands dirty and see if a smashed up orange would clean them. Instead, I’m just gonna eat it and be thankful I held off scurvy for another day.

EDIT: Dead now

One of the drawbacks from watching all 5 seasons of The Wire over the course of a month is that it makes you want to smoke a cigar. I’m not sure what the cigar ratio was in scenes where Bunk was walking around, but I’m pretty sure it was 1:1. Thankfully, I can get my fix through this free cigar offer and get this out of my system.

Oh, and I put this in “Health / Fitness” since it didn’t fit anywhere else and I was too lazy to create a “Bodily Harm” category.

I seem to remember that the last time these free American Greeting cards from Wal Mart were around, they sent out three different samples. Who knows if that’s what they’ll do this time around as well, but on the off chance that somebody in charge of this freebie is reading HIF right now, I’d like to make my pitch as a Greeting Card Author. I think I’d be great at it and have included a few samples of my work below:

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey look over there, That cow just said moo.

That could be used as a fun road trip card. Or maybe for cow enthusiasts! But what about a more intimate card? Oh, I’ve got just what you need:

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Something something something, I love you!

See, the three somethings throws the reader off. They’re like, “Huh? What the crap?” But then the ending makes them feel better!

I’ll be awaiting your response and will accept payment in the form of burlap sacks stuffed with cash.

[via Cara]

Well friends, hello! It’s well into the second week of a hot start to June for me here in PA. (Goob: oops, I took a while to post this!) Suffering 93 degree days already where the opening of my door to retrieve the mail leaves a person needing a shower…its so much fun! Going out in this kind of heat requires being frozen in ice if it lasts that long and the age old ritual of frying an egg on the sidewalk just to prove it works takes place. No matter how hot the day though, freebies are the main mail objective for the day. When I’m home I wait for the clang of the mailbox lid. So as I find my unreliable mail lady wobbling down my side walk, arm full of freebies making her day oh soooooo hard, I laugh. I wait for her to read each piece of mail hating me more and more because of my obsession. Bringing in the mail I see my next freebie review.

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I’m not sure what I’m happier about: a free sample of Stride gum (which is AWESOME!) or the excuse this freebie gives me to link to this fantastic video. I’ve been a fan of “Dancing Matt” ever since his first video a few years ago and I find it kinda cool that the very company which sponsored his last two trips around the globe is also giving away some gum! It doesn’t hurt that my favorite gum to begin with is Stride, so go snag yourself a freebie and just watch that video over and over until it arrives.