What: 10 free Pampers Gifts to Grow points.
Where: On your computer.
When: Before the end of today.
Why: Because you entered code FBPAS175WR11913.
Who: Wait, why is this starting over again?
What: Stop. We're done here. All the needed info is above.
When: Somebody please send help, my fingers won't stop typing.
Why: Because they're possessed?
Who: Time to chew through my wrists for the good of Hiffers everywhere.
What: ane yva4t;kajs dfhuasd f
Where: Nope, didn't work.
When: Don't worry, I'll pass out from blood loss soon.
Why: Any…second…now… *thud*
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[thanks to everyone who sent this in!]