Auntie Anne's birthday freebie calls me a pretzel lover, which is overstating things a little. Yet it goes on to say “birthday cake, shmirthday cake.”
DID THEY JUST DIS BIRTHDAY CAKE?!
Pretzels are barely more than fancy stale bread while birthday cake is the physical manifestation of a magical fairyland populated by rainbows, unicorns, and Lady Rainicorns.