Goob

I wanted to point out that you're not supposed to print the image above and use it as a coupon. The image is a picture of my coupon from months ago and is only included to show that the freebie exists. When it comes to birthday freebies, there is so much misinformation out there that I wanted to show definitive proof for freebies that were legit.

With that said, here's On The Border birthday freebie. I have no idea what a Dip Trio is and frankly, after taking one look at that brownie sundae above, I don't care. As the famous philosopher Sir Reginald Goob once said, a sugary treat in the hand is worth a trio in the oven.

Would it be odd if a guy in his 30s tried to redeem a Chuck E. Cheese's birthday freebie? The answer I'm looking for here is a resounding no.

The Great American Cookie birthday freebie knows how to celebrate. Sugary food? Check. Sugary drink? Check. All that's missing is a side order of sugar.

I probably would have named bd's Mongolian Grill's birthday freebie something different. I keep picturing a waiter with “beady” eyes and a sly smirk that hints at how he messed with my food.

So let me get this straight. The Planet Smoothie birthday freebie is for a free smoothie and not a free planet? I hope somebody got fired for that oversight.

I'd say Houlihan's birthday freebie is one of the better ones I've posted so far during this series. Sure, I always appreciate a free sugary dessert, but do you realize what else you could buy with a $15 certificate to spend? No, forget about an entrée, I'm talking about multiple free sugary desserts!

*Goob finally reads coupon and sees it specifies entrees only*

Dang it! Foiled again by fine print!

The American Eagle birthday freebie is part of their larger rewards program. You'll get a card that earns you points for every dollar spent, plus random coupons emailed to you throughout the year.

But even if you don't want or use any of that, you'll still get a free coupon every year!

Your free birthday discount expires a month after being emailed to you. It can also be used either in-store or for an online purchase!

I hate to disappoint my extended family, but I can't grow up. One look at the signup form for Joe's Crab Shack birthday freebie and I instantly start giggling at “want crab in your inbox?”

What can I say about McAlister's Deli birthday freebie? It's a coupon, I've never eaten at one of their establishments, and I once ran track with a guy named McAlister. Riveting!

In order to join and get your coupon, head to their site and look for the orange “signup here” link in the top right.

I'm afraid my computer is about to explode, so I'll be taking a little break after posting this Souper Salad birthday freebie. I've never heard the fans whirl as loud as they are now. It sounds like a jet engine is in my living room and not in a good way. Although I'm not sure when having an active jet engine in your home would ever be a positive. Maybe after finishing an especially challenging scavenger hunt?

T.G.I. Friday's birthday freebie offer used to expressly state you had to buy an entree in order to receive your free dessert. But that was before the glorious Freebie Gods smiled down upon us and convinced somebody at TGIF HQ to remove the entree requirement and give us a straight up free dessert!

Think about it, what's better than a meal and a free dessert? A free dessert that also doubles as your meal! See, I'm always thinking. Mostly about sugar related products, but thinking nonetheless.

Don't forget, our database of free birthday food is the most up-to-date on the Internet!