While we wait for the next free Playtex sample opportunity, here are their free coupons! And below you'll find some of our old Playtex jokes 🙂
This free Playtex Gentle Glide from Walmart should be just what I need to put the finishing touches on my homemade hang glider. I've been slowly building it ever since my first failed launching 15 years ago. I thought my childlike sense of wonder and imagination would be all I needed to soar off my roof. Gravity disagreed.
Here's a fun game for all of you bored at work. Head to Walmart's free Playtex Gentle Glide offer page and then quickly move your mouse back and forth over the two boxes of tampons. Hey, they're dancing! Look at them go! *cues up Salsa music in his head*
Yeah, I'm bored.
Okay, fine, I'm really bored.
Walmart has a new free Playtex Sport tampons offer up, but I'm not going anywhere near it. Why? Because of the ninja / witch in the ad! First she's kickboxing and then in a split second she's changed into an evening dress and is dancing? Believe you me, there's some type of sorcery going on here!
We posted this free Menopause Survival Kit back in December, but I'm not sure if it came or not for those who signed up. Suffice to say, this was one of those freebies where I signed up a friend or relative instead of myself. Something tells me I'm not going to be going through Menopause anytime soon.
As you can see below, we've found a lot of free fragrance, perfume, and cologne samples over the years. The good news is they're still very frequently released, as of 2020!
While we wait for the next one, here are some classic jokes from the archives.
Oh man, I can't wait to get this free Love2Love fragrance and then smell my lover's philtrum!
I get that gardens are supposed to be associated with pleasant smells, but this free Gucci Flora Garden fragrance on Facebook reminds me of three things I hate: sneezing, bees, and sneezing bees. Those last ones are the worst. They lure you in with their cuteness and then BAM!
Here's a free Chanel LE BLANC four-piece sample kit. As if by magic! Quick, somebody get it to pull a quarter out from behind my ear. I need some cash for a bagel in the morning.
I never understand traditional advertising. The Facebook page for free Nine West Love Fury fragrance shows the perfume and … a shoe? I get that the bottle stopper kind of looks like a high heel, but is that implying the scent smells like feet? Because I can produce that fragrance all on my own, thank you very much.
I have to admit, I always wanted to look like James Bond. I thought it’d be cool to have as many gadgets as Bond or be as sexy as Bond. I even wanted to be as strong as Bond. But I can’t say I ever once wanted to smell like him. If I wanted to be around the aroma of gin and gunpowder, I would have visited my crazy Uncle Eddy more often. But to each his own!I have to admit, I always wanted to look like James Bond. I thought it’d be cool to have as many gadgets as Bond or be as sexy as Bond. I even wanted to be as strong as Bond. But I can’t say I ever once wanted to smell like him. If I wanted to be around the aroma of gin and gunpowder, I would have visited my crazy Uncle Eddy more often. But to each his own!
Finally, I'll own a single carat! 23 more of these freebies and I'll finally be able to afford a nice engagement ring for Future Mrs. Goob.
I've got no idea how this stuff smells. It could truthfully smell like fish scales and then again, it might smell like mountain spring time or fresh lilies or some other brand of Lysol. But if you have the guts to get it and wear it around for a while, sign up for this free Boudreau perfume & cologne.
There are three different free Hugo Boss fragrances to choose from today. There's the one that smells good, the one that smells great, and the one that is a mixture of dog farts and rotten eggs. Good luck guessing which is which!
I hope this free Hugo Boss fragrance comes in a tiny vial because they always make me feel like a giant scientist. I once took that fantasy a bit too far and mixed all of my colognes together in an attempt to create a magic potion. Turns out the only magical property it had was repelling women.
I knew the Swiss made knives, chocolates, and banks that don't ask too many questions, but I had no idea they also produced free Victorinox Swiss Unlimited men's fragrance. Imagine if they'd found a way to combine all those into this freebie. It shaves your beard when you spray it on, tastes like chocolate, and the bottle can be deposited into your bank account once empty.
Scientists, get on it.
Everybody knows Swiss Army best for their watches and knives, but did you know they make perfume too? It's obvious why, as nothing is more threatening than a fragrant, punctual solider. So if you enjoy trying new scents, request a free sample card of either Victoria Eau de or Forest Eau de toilette sprays.*
*Now with 50% less toilet sprays!
This free Selena Gomez fragrance got me wondering – how famous do you have to be in order to get your own perfume? Because after looking Ms. Gomez up (I'm rather happy to admit I didn't know who she was), I think it's time to shore up my references and credentials. I mean, who wouldn't want to smell like a work-from-home blogger who desperately needs to clean his desk and do a few loads of laundry?
As a resident of New York City, I can promise that you wouldn't want to come within a mile of this free DKNY fragrance if it truly smelled like NYC. I understand people enjoy different aromas, but I've yet to meet anybody who loves the scent of hot garbage and what I really, really hope is dog poop.
This free Joy by Dior fragrance has a lot of fancy buzzwords in its description. Vibrant smile of flowers. Smooth caress of woods. A fragrance facetted with a thousand nuances.
Let me try a crack at it.
This spray thingy smells good.
Ahhh, much better!
Am I the only one who feels fancy whenever asked for my salutation? The only time I come across that word is when requesting freebies like this free Gucci Guilty fragrance and watching Downton Abbey.
I have no idea who David or what a Yurman is, but we're all welcome to ask for a free David Yurman fragrance sample. I'm guessing it smells like yogurt from Yemen.
You get to choose between the Code and the Sport Code when signing up for your free Giorgio Armani Beauty fragrance. What's the difference? Um… One has the word Sport in the name and the other doesn't.
The only prerequisite for free Burberry Brit Rhythm fragrance is joining “The Guest List,” so I'm assuming this sample is our key to all the cool parties in town. Only problem I can foresee is we won't know where the parties are exactly located. That's why I plan on spraying this freebie in the face of every bouncer I see until one of them shows me the way.
I found this free Folle de Joie fragrance offer while gaming with my friends this afternoon. I stared calling it “Folly de Jolly” and now it's been 5 hours of us saying that nonstop.
I love my job.
You can get free Armani Code cologne. You know what they say though – loose lips sink ships. So don't sign up for this unless you can keep the Code under wraps. Otherwise HIF's enemies will … know we smell good? On second thought, I guess that's not such a bad thing.
As a frequent sufferer of writer's block and someone who's constantly searching for his muse, I can speak with authority when I say filling a room with free Estee Lauder Modern Muse perfumewill make people pass out before it inspires them. Unless it inspires them to run away from you. If that's your goal, then job well done!
The free Always Infinity Pads were given away 9 times from 2006-2012, with the bulk of activity coming during 08-09. Aside from popping up once in 2015, I haven't seen these in recent years. As always, if that changes, this will be the first place I update! Until then, here's their free coupons and offers page.
Walmart gave away some of these free Always Infinity pads a few months back, but this is a new link so it should allow you to sign up for a second freebie. I've sat here for ten minutes trying to think of something witty, but I can't focus since my dogs have been barking the entire time. Either they feel threatened by the rustling trees outside or this is the first stage in the inevitable coup d'état I know they're planning.
These free Always Infinity samples from Walmart don't actually always last for infinity, do they? If so, that's a pretty poor business model. I can only imagine the corporate meeting a year from now when the head of sales is explaining to his bosses that they've already sold a product to every consumer in America. He'll probably have a chart behind him with a comically giant red arrow pointing straight down and they'll all think they're doomed.
Then I'll come in and point out that their brand name doesn't have to be taken literally. I'll then grab the chart, flip it around so that the arrow is pointing straight up, and the boardroom will cheer.
The moral of this story is I've always wanted to flip a chart around like they do in the cartoons.
Yeah, yeah, free Always Infinity pads, now let's get to the heart of the matter because I have so many questions from the image above.
How does a pad win a Product of the Year award? Somebody call Putin, I've seen a rigged election before.
Which innovations were added to the pads? Bluetooth?
What products did it beat out?
Who voted for pads?!
I must know.
I almost missed it. I came this close to hitting Publish before casually glancing once last time at the free Always Discreet pads page. That's when it jumped out at me. I have no Earthly idea what I'll find on the other side let alone why it exists, but it's an absolute certainty that I'll call the toll-free “NEED LIVE HELP?!” number on their site. I need live help explaining why they provide live help!
I spent five minutes trying to click the bubbles on this free Always Clean pads site before I realized you couldn't interact with them. This is a prime example of why I never try to trick my cat with a flashlight or laser pointer. It's almost a certainty that she'd figure out a way to flip the tables on me and have me running around the house chasing her ball of yarn.
2021 Update: Sadly, while this sample was once a stable in the freebie world, it's since expired. I've collected a few of my favorite jokes I wrote about the free Aveeno Nourish+ shampoo offer from the Freebie Golden Years!
When filling out the form for this free Aveeno shampoo, question 3 asks which of the following types of shampoo you'd like: Moisturize, Revitalize, Volumize, or Sooth. I don't even remotely know which answer I want, which makes me feel like it's one of those trick questions my girlfriend always asks me. Unfortunately, I can't use my trusty Emergency Escape Method here, which is to pretend my shoe is a phone and the President is calling.
In completely unrelated news, my couch doubles as a fantastically comfortable bed!
This is the third free Aveeno Nourish+ shampoo offer to pop up in the last three weeks. I'm not sure which road to take here. On the one hand I could make the “how malnourished is America's hair?” joke. On the other hand I could ask Aveeno if they realize they need to try and sell some of the product instead of just giving it all away. Ugh, this is too hard of a decision, I'm just gonna go take a nap.
I honestly have no idea what people are talking about when they say running this site is easy.
I really wish my mind didn't wander so frequently and make random associations. Take this new free Aveeno Nourish+ shampoo link. Every time I hear their name, I think of vino and long story short, I've been drinking wine since I got up this morning. Let's go streaking!
I know a lot of freebies have been quickly dying recently, but at the same time there are samples like this free Aveeno Nourish+ shampoo that are still kicking. Well, not literally. I'd be quite worried if my shampoo had legs.
You need to scroll down to the green “free sample” button then…well, you should know what to do after that. I can't hold your hand forever! We've been doing this for almost seven years now. I have faith in you!
There have been an unusually high number of limited freebies this week, so it's time we drop in on a few of our tried and true freebies. First up, the ol' free Aveeno Nourish+ shampoo. The plus stands for “plus we're gonna throw in a random mathematical symbol for no apparent reason to drive those of you with OCD a little insane.” Wasn't that nice of them?
I keep hearing the commercials for Gold Bond on the radio and I'd say that they're… strange, but I think that doesn't really touch on it.
But, as I step out into weather that's just about the same as it was Times Square at midnight, this free Gold Bond Ultimate Lotion sample sounds good for my dry skin. Heck, my skin is so dry and damaged, I'm actually thinking of getting a mani-pedi sometime soon to take care of the extremities and that problem…
Mary Kay sure does enjoy making huge promises. First it was the ultimate mascara and now they've got this free Mary Kay Miracle Set. Really? It performs miracles? Sweet! I have no idea what any of the free items listed below do, but by all means, bring on the divine interventions!
TimeWise 3-in-1 Cleanser (Goob: How can three go into one?!)
TimeWise Age Fighting Moisturizer
TimeWise Day Solution Sunscreen SPF 25
TimeWise Night Solution
Hmmm. Not quite the miracles I was hoping for there since I'm a dude. Unless maybe the “Night Solution” performs the miracles of making your dreams come true. Ohhhhh baby, come on giant army of mutant lobsters commanded by Napoleon, who of course is using the Age Fighting Moisturizer to stave off death. The Knights of the Round Table and I are ready to finally beat you guys once and for all!
For as long as I can remember, I've always suffered from massive chapped lips every winter. But as a kid, I didn't really know what was wrong and thus I always licked my chops to try and sooth them. My mom finally spotted me doing so one day and after a quick inspection, pulled into the nearest pharmacy parking lot and told me to run in and buy something called Carmex. And….
Little Goob:Hi, do you have any Carmex for sale? Old Lady Behind The Counter:No, sorry son. Goob:Are you sure? My mom said I could get some Carmex in here. OLBTC: Trust me, we don't sell that here. Besides, those things are good for nothing anyway. Goob: But my lips are really chapped and they hurt! Don't you have anything I can buy? OLBTC: How the heck are comics going to help cure your chapped lips?
Luckily for me, I don't have to go into a pharmacy anymore and spend ten minutes trying to tell people I want Carmex and not comics. Why? Because I can just sign up for this free Carmex lip balm and have it sent straight to me in the mail!
Murad boasts it's “clinically proven to increase skin's firmness by up to 42% within 10 minutes.” Now, what if I use triple the recommended dose? Will my skin become so firm it's impenetrable? Oh baby, all I want for Christmas is to become a super villain hero and take over the world take over the world!
Have you ever had one of those weekends where you did absolutely nothing for 48 hours straight and then when you got up to go to bed Sunday night, there was a Goob-shaped imprint on the couch? Yeah, that was me this past weekend. I was a few microwavable meals and a bedpan away from never moving a muscle all weekend. I wonder if some free Murad samples and promo codes can help me get rid of this pasty complexion I developed.
Oh and if your imprint really is Goob-shaped, please let me know, because that means you're probably my long-lost evil twin. If there's anything Hollywood has taught me, it's that we have to fight to the death.
Dove used to be king of Freebie Mountain. It's a thankless monarchy, but from 2006-2010, they held the crown by giving away over 50 different freebies! They even gave away a large, fluffy robe once! Sadly, those days have long passed, but I've managed to collect a few free Dove sample offers and coupons below. I also added a few of the classic jokes from over the years 😀
Congratulations! We've graduated from basic to free Advanced Dove hair products. I don't know how we passed with me sleeping through most of the classes, but here we are!
The signup form states “fill out this form to receive a free sample of Dove Hair.” So…we're getting dove hair? Not to sound ungrateful, but what the heck am I going to do with dove hair? Plus, I thought doves had feathers. If you think I'll rub dove feathers in my hair, then you must have been spying on me last Thursday.
For some reason, Dove Cream Oil sounds delicious to me. It sounds like a delicious dessert if you ask me. In fact, knowing my subconscious, I'll somehow order one of these the next time I'm out at dinner with friends or a date. The evening will be going well, I'll be witty and carry on some light banter all throughout the meal. Then the waiter will walk over, ask if we want anything else, and my mouth will somehow utter, “Yeah! We'll have a little dove cream oil and some coffee.”
If you have a bottle of Dove Hair Care shampoo, then take a picture of yourself holding it and get a free Dove luxury bathrobe. You'll also have to write a short review about it, but you can alternately make a 30 second video.
It sounds like a lot of work, but it shouldn't take more than a minute or two. Plus the freebie is a luxury bathrobe! Just think of all the fancy parties you'll be able to wear it to! I'll finally be able to eat at the five star restaurant down the street without being told I'm under dressed. High society, here I come!
Ladies and gentlemen, I come to you as a concerned member of the freebie world. I'm no business executive, but I do know that in order to stay up and running, most companies need to sell various products for profit. With that in mind, I ask how in the world is Dove still operating? Every time I turn around, they're giving away endless amounts of samples, like the free Dove Pro-Age lotion.
But it's not just the fact that Dove is giving away countless freebies. There's the trend in product names. Pro-age? Isn't lotion supposed to be anti-age? Is the name supposed to be ironic? Is this a joke I'm not getting?
Some people might think I run a freebie website and develop relationships with the companies so that I can get even more free samples. Heck no! I just want their e-mail addresses so I can ask them what the heck their product names mean.
There's one thing I've learned about marriage, and that's that you never really have to buy shampoo and conditioner. Nope. Not anymore. The husband never has that responsibility anymore. You sort of just get into the shower, and all of a sudden, there's a huge over-sized bottle of something that smells fruity that promises smoother, silkier hair. And when you're out? You just shout “Honey! We're out of shampoo!” and suck it up with a bar of soap. The next day? A new super-sized bottle of something else.
But I guess with this sample of Dove shampoo and conditioner, I can bypass shouting for a day or so. Just a simple click at the bottom of the page on the “Free Samples” link and that'll be one day that I don't have to shout.
I think I've found a site that's giving away free hair scrunchies, but I can't really tell since all the models on the site look far too serious to be showing off simple hair scrunchies. What is it with models and looking as if they're staring down the gaze of death. Does it hurt to smile? Does it make the product less appealing if it's no longer on the body of a human who looks scared? I'm at a loss here, folks.
This might be the first freebie marketed towards girls that I'll end up using, though, because this hair of mine has gotten out of control. I can barely see the computer monitor. In fact, I hope I'm publishing this post on HIF and not another one of my random sites. Oh well, time to hit the “Publish” button and find out!
Free Biore samples, like their Pore Minimizing Collection and Pore Strips, were once a staple in the freebie world. These products are centered around good skin care, something I know little about. My extent of “skin care knowledge” only goes so far to include “don't pour acid on your skin.” Actually, I didn't even know that until 10th grade chemistry, when I pulled what I thought would be a hilarious practical joke on little Timmy who sat next to me. The poor guy never stood a chance…