Beauty Products

As you can see below, we've found a lot of free fragrance, perfume, and cologne samples over the years. The good news is they're still very frequently released, as of 2020!

While we wait for the next one, here are some classic jokes from the archives.

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Oh man, I can't wait to get this free Love2Love fragrance and then smell my lover's philtrum!

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I get that gardens are supposed to be associated with pleasant smells, but this free Gucci Flora Garden fragrance on Facebook reminds me of three things I hate: sneezing, bees, and sneezing bees. Those last ones are the worst. They lure you in with their cuteness and then BAM!

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Here's a free Chanel LE BLANC four-piece sample kit. As if by magic! Quick, somebody get it to pull a quarter out from behind my ear. I need some cash for a bagel in the morning.

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I never understand traditional advertising. The Facebook page for free Nine West Love Fury fragrance shows the perfume and … a shoe? I get that the bottle stopper kind of looks like a high heel, but is that implying the scent smells like feet? Because I can produce that fragrance all on my own, thank you very much.

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I have to admit, I always wanted to look like James Bond. I thought it’d be cool to have as many gadgets as Bond or be as sexy as Bond. I even wanted to be as strong as Bond. But I can’t say I ever once wanted to smell like him. If I wanted to be around the aroma of gin and gunpowder, I would have visited my crazy Uncle Eddy more often. But to each his own!I have to admit, I always wanted to look like James Bond. I thought it’d be cool to have as many gadgets as Bond or be as sexy as Bond. I even wanted to be as strong as Bond. But I can’t say I ever once wanted to smell like him. If I wanted to be around the aroma of gin and gunpowder, I would have visited my crazy Uncle Eddy more often. But to each his own!

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Finally, I'll own a single carat! 23 more of these freebies and I'll finally be able to afford a nice engagement ring for Future Mrs. Goob.

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Head to Facebook for a free Viktor&Rolf fragrance sample. We get to choose between Flowerbomb Dew or Flowerbomb Classic.

Ah yes. Classic … flower bombs? Are these from some crazy cool Secret Garden that I've never heard of? To heck with a green thumb, I want the camo thumb with access to explosive plants.

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Oooooh, look at this fancy free North Bondi Parfum. You know it's high class when the language morphs from English to French. As a matter of fact, I now want to be known as Ryan Goob $*@&. It'll be annoying saying “pardon my French” every time I'm introduced, but swear words are the only French I know.

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I've got no idea how this stuff smells. It could truthfully smell like fish scales and then again, it might smell like mountain spring time or fresh lilies or some other brand of Lysol. But if you have the guts to get it and wear it around for a while, sign up for this free Boudreau perfume & cologne.

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There are three different free Hugo Boss fragrances to choose from today. There's the one that smells good, the one that smells great, and the one that is a mixture of dog farts and rotten eggs. Good luck guessing which is which!

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I hope this free Hugo Boss fragrance comes in a tiny vial because they always make me feel like a giant scientist. I once took that fantasy a bit too far and mixed all of my colognes together in an attempt to create a magic potion. Turns out the only magical property it had was repelling women.

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I knew the Swiss made knives, chocolates, and banks that don't ask too many questions, but I had no idea they also produced free Victorinox Swiss Unlimited men's fragrance. Imagine if they'd found a way to combine all those into this freebie. It shaves your beard when you spray it on, tastes like chocolate, and the bottle can be deposited into your bank account once empty.

Scientists, get on it.

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Everybody knows Swiss Army best for their watches and knives, but did you know they make perfume too? It's obvious why, as nothing is more threatening than a fragrant, punctual solider. So if you enjoy trying new scents, request a free sample card of either Victoria Eau de or Forest Eau de toilette sprays.*

*Now with 50% less toilet sprays!

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This free Selena Gomez fragrance got me wondering – how famous do you have to be in order to get your own perfume? Because after looking Ms. Gomez up (I'm rather happy to admit I didn't know who she was), I think it's time to shore up my references and credentials. I mean, who wouldn't want to smell like a work-from-home blogger who desperately needs to clean his desk and do a few loads of laundry?

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As a resident of New York City, I can promise that you wouldn't want to come within a mile of this free DKNY fragrance if it truly smelled like NYC. I understand people enjoy different aromas, but I've yet to meet anybody who loves the scent of hot garbage and what I really, really hope is dog poop.

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This free Joy by Dior fragrance has a lot of fancy buzzwords in its description. Vibrant smile of flowers. Smooth caress of woods. A fragrance facetted with a thousand nuances.

Let me try a crack at it.

This spray thingy smells good.

Ahhh, much better!

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Am I the only one who feels fancy whenever asked for my salutation? The only time I come across that word is when requesting freebies like this free Gucci Guilty fragrance and watching Downton Abbey.

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I have no idea who David or what a Yurman is, but we're all welcome to ask for a free David Yurman fragrance sample. I'm guessing it smells like yogurt from Yemen.

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You get to choose between the Code and the Sport Code when signing up for your free Giorgio Armani Beauty fragrance. What's the difference? Um… One has the word Sport in the name and the other doesn't.

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The only prerequisite for free Burberry Brit Rhythm fragrance is joining “The Guest List,” so I'm assuming this sample is our key to all the cool parties in town. Only problem I can foresee is we won't know where the parties are exactly located. That's why I plan on spraying this freebie in the face of every bouncer I see until one of them shows me the way.

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I found this free Folle de Joie fragrance offer while gaming with my friends this afternoon. I stared calling it “Folly de Jolly” and now it's been 5 hours of us saying that nonstop.

I love my job.

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You can get free Armani Code cologne. You know what they say though – loose lips sink ships. So don't sign up for this unless you can keep the Code under wraps. Otherwise HIF's enemies will … know we smell good? On second thought, I guess that's not such a bad thing.

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As a frequent sufferer of writer's block and someone who's constantly searching for his muse, I can speak with authority when I say filling a room with free Estee Lauder Modern Muse perfumewill make people pass out before it inspires them. Unless it inspires them to run away from you. If that's your goal, then job well done!

The free Always Infinity Pads were given away 9 times from 2006-2012, with the bulk of activity coming during 08-09. Aside from popping up once in 2015, I haven't seen these in recent years. As always, if that changes, this will be the first place I update! Until then, here's their free coupons and offers page.

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Walmart gave away some of these free Always Infinity pads a few months back, but this is a new link so it should allow you to sign up for a second freebie. I've sat here for ten minutes trying to think of something witty, but I can't focus since my dogs have been barking the entire time. Either they feel threatened by the rustling trees outside or this is the first stage in the inevitable coup d'état I know they're planning.

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These free Always Infinity samples from Walmart don't actually always last for infinity, do they? If so, that's a pretty poor business model. I can only imagine the corporate meeting a year from now when the head of sales is explaining to his bosses that they've already sold a product to every consumer in America. He'll probably have a chart behind him with a comically giant red arrow pointing straight down and they'll all think they're doomed.

Then I'll come in and point out that their brand name doesn't have to be taken literally. I'll then grab the chart, flip it around so that the arrow is pointing straight up, and the boardroom will cheer.

The moral of this story is I've always wanted to flip a chart around like they do in the cartoons.

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Yeah, yeah, free Always Infinity pads, now let's get to the heart of the matter because I have so many questions from the image above.

1. How does a pad win a Product of the Year award? Somebody call Putin, I've seen a rigged election before.
2. Which innovations were added to the pads? Bluetooth?
3. What products did it beat out?
4. Who voted for pads?!

I must know.

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I almost missed it. I came this close to hitting Publish before casually glancing once last time at the free Always Discreet pads page. That's when it jumped out at me. I have no Earthly idea what I'll find on the other side let alone why it exists, but it's an absolute certainty that I'll call the toll-free “NEED LIVE HELP?!” number on their site. I need live help explaining why they provide live help!

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I spent five minutes trying to click the bubbles on this free Always Clean pads site before I realized you couldn't interact with them. This is a prime example of why I never try to trick my cat with a flashlight or laser pointer. It's almost a certainty that she'd figure out a way to flip the tables on me and have me running around the house chasing her ball of yarn.

John Frieda hair product freebies and samples were quite numerous from 2006-2012. They even gave a single freebie away in 2013, 14, 15, and 19. All told, we found 46 different John Frieda freebies over the years!

While we wait for the next round of available freebies, enjoy some old jokes!

Old HIF Jokes

Here's a super simple form where you can print a coupon good for a full-size free John Frieda Wonder Drops hair mask. That means our hair can rob a bank and possibly get away with it!

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You can get a free sample of either Radiant Red, Brilliant Brunette, or Sheer Blonde John Frieda's Hair products by clicking that link and entering your info.

You got that? Click the link. THEN enter in your info. Not here in the comments. For the love of God, if I get another person coming here through a search engine and leaving their address in the comments, I'm going to scream!

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This free John Frieda shampoo made me realize my hair volume is pretty low. Heck, it's muted. Does that even make sense? No? DOES IT MAKE SENSE IF I YELL?

Oh man, see what I did there? I “yelled” it by typing in all caps. Like I turned up the “volume.” Get it? Cause we were talking about hair volume and then I wittily started talking about sound volume. You know, cause hair volume is in relation to the amount of space the hair occupies while sound volume correlates to the amplitude of a sound wave. It's a play on words; a pun if you will. But the two definitions are actually closely related, because both volumes increase as the space occupied or amplitude increases. I guess that's why volume is used for both definitions. You could actually argue that they're one in same and that…

But I'm sure you got the pun right away, but continued just to make sure that the pun was intended. I bet you like reading about puns, its a lot of pun… hey, I see what you did there! Replacing the f in pun. What a cheeky Hiffer you are.

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The previous free John Frieda shampoo offer this month was limited to certain states, which was pretty annoying. But not this one! It's open to everyone in the good ol' US of A. From Maine to Portugal, from Nebraska to Africa – everybody gets a sample! Okay, I admit, I tended to sleep throughout Social Studies as a kid.

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Here's a free John Frieda Root Awakening shampoo offer on Facebook where we're all invited to receive “an exclusive scalp invigorating offer.” They go on to say we should “purify, feed and nourish” our hair. You know what? No. I won't do any of that. I'll wash it and that's it. I already have to remember to feed my dogs, my plants, and myself. I can't be in charge of nourishing anything else.

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Folks, somebody broke into my house and ate all of the Halloween candy I'm supposed to give out tomorrow. And, uh, they … okay, I confess, it was me, but it wasn't my fault! Okay, maybe it was my fault, but there was a good reason! Fine, you got me, there wasn't a good reason, but I was hungry and there was nothing else to eat! Oh stop looking at me that way, I admit it, I wasn't even hungry and my pantry is stocked. Dang, you're good at this – are you sure you're not a cop?

As soon as this free John Frieda Brilliant Brunette Liquid Shine Illuminating shampoo and conditioner arrives, I'll use it to wash the shame off.

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While signing up for free John Frieda Frizz-Ease shampoo, you'll encounter a drop-down list with over a dozen hair colors and yet not a single one is blue! It's not my fault I happen to be in a rockin' Simpsons tribute band. Although I'm not sure why I chose to be Marge. There were plenty of other male characters to pick from…

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I wonder if this free John Frieda Full Repair shampoo and conditioner will fully repair your hair enough to make it grow back fast. Specifically on dogs. Long story short, mine accidentally got into some gum and I had to shave a small part of her back. I think she's self-conscious about it now. Yesterday I caught her wearing a totally noticeable toupee.

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This free John Frieda Full Repair is one of those freebies that I have no idea if it'll actually come. There's not much information available on it, but the page is legit and it mentions a freebie at the bottom, so I went ahead and signed up. Tell ya what, if you don't think this will come, I'll guarantee you'll be surprised in six to eight weeks. Either the freebie will show up in your mailbox or I'll personally jump out of a dark doorway and scream at you.

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There's a new John Frieda Root Awakening sample available from Walmart and I'm now naturally daydreaming of a world where it actually awakens roots in people's heads. Some people get dandelions sprouting, others get full blown oak trees, and a lucky few get a fruit tree. My luck, I'd get a plum tree or crap grass.

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Make sure you take a shot at this free Precision Foam colour offer. It's a coupon for a free full size box but it may take a little patience as their site is getting hammered. It's kind of like getting me to eat my vegetables. You need to take your time, calmly explain that it's in my best interest to eat them, and then maybe hide a portion in my mashed potatoes. I know, I know, first dates with me can be super awkward.

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I'll be honest, trying to figure out the secret to this free John Frieda hair care sample is well beyond my mental capacity right now. Based on your answers, you can get either a coupon for a free full sized box of Precision Foam Hair Colour or a small shampoo sample. I'm sure there's a way to game the system, but don't expect me to figure it out any time soon. I just spent an hour watching a how-to show on remodeling your home because I was too tired to change the channel.

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John Frieda has given away hair care for brunettes and red heads in the past, but now blonds can get in on the action with some free Sheer Blonde hair care.

I can never tell what color my hair is. Is it brown or black? Then I start to wonder if I see colors like everybody else. What if my version of green is really purple to others? Heck, what else does my body interpret incorrectly?! Five hours later, I'm usually curled up in a fetal position and muttering to myself.

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Looks like I'm talking about my hair a bunch today. This free John Frieda Frizz-Ease shampoo & serum is definitely not for me as my hair is the furthest from frizzy possible. Like ironed straight. Well, I actually don't have hair now since it's hot out. I had it buzzed a few weeks ago. Wait, who cares? I bet nobody is even still reading at this point.