Man oh man, am I sad today. Talk about an end of an era. I first discovered both The Daily Show and Stephen Colbert while channel surfing on September 12, 2002. To say I was hooked from the start would be an understatement. You don't just happen to randomly remember what you watched on TV 12 years ago.
For me and millions of others, The Colbert Report wasn’t just a goofy comedy show, it was “must see TV” for the twenty-first century. I’d be flabbergasted if I missed more than 3 of the 1440+ episodes. I can’t think of a single show that flopped either. Sure, there were segments here or there that missed the mark, but overall Colbert was in my life and making me laugh more than any other stranger over the past decade. And all while in character! I can't imagine what that must be like 🙂
I shouldn't be tearing up all day like I have been. The man's not dead! He'll be back on TV before the end of next summer! I'm clearly biased, but there's no doubt in my mind he'll be amazing filling Letterman's shoes. But for the next nine months, my evenings will be a tad dimmer. September is an eternity away right now.
To Stephen and everybody who ever put an hour of work into that show, I cannot thank you enough. Colbert is my comedy idol and if I ever have an ounce of his talent or charisma, I'll die a happy man.
I think the only thing that could cheer me up would be a little comfort food like a free Kit Kat candy bar or a free Sierra Mist 2 liter.
It's been a few years since a free Splenda sweetener sugar offer was around. They gave away free Splenda Naturals stevia samples deep into 2018, but even that appears to have stopped.
As we wait for the sweet freebies to return, here are some high value Splenda coupons along with a few classic HIF jokes from the archives!
Old HIF Splenda Jokes
There's a free Splenda Essentials sugar offer on their Facebook page. You'll also be entered into a contest where a $1000 Visa giftcard will be given away for every 10,000 samples they send out. In other words, tell your friends to get the freebie but stipulate you have dibs if they win the gift card. If they actually go for that, please let me hang out with them.
Today's “always mysteriously available” offer is free Splenda Essentials “sugar”. You get to pick between one with Antioxidants or B vitamins, so study up. I just spend 5 hours on WebMD trying to find out which was more important, but the only thing I learned was that I probably have lupus.
I'm not much of a Splenda fan though. I don't even like the sugar that you can buy in the store. Nope, I go straight for sugar the way Mother Nature intended it to be – in cane form! Sure, some people stare when they see what looks like bamboo sticking out of my coffee mug, but they don't know what they're missing.
Did you know August is National Catfish Month? Here I was thinking the only crown it held was National Sweat Your Face Off Month. But no, the catfish industry must have some serious pull in Washington. And now they're giving awayfree catfish recipes from The Catfish Institute.
And yes, The Catfish Institute is real. I did not make that up. The Catfish Institute. An institute for all your catfish related needs.
First off, wow. The thousands of positive comments and emails that flooded my inbox over the past 72 hours was overwhelming and amazing. You people sure know how to make a guy feel loved. I haven't read them all yet, but please know that I am slowly and surely doing so! I felt like garbage this weekend, but every time I opened my laptop, I was able to smile thanks to y'all.
So again, thank you! I'm feeling good today and my treatment's light this week, so hopefully there are plenty of freebies to post. Speaking of which …
Kashi used to be a big player in the freebie scene. They pulled back on the offers about two years ago, which I found curious, but evidently that was so they could pour every available cent into R&D. How do I know this? Because now they have a free Kashi cereal or granola bar offer that gives 10 year old children the ability to morph into the size of an average adult mom. Color me impressed.
I used to like watching House. There was something cool about all of the medical diagnosis that they'd have and how if you tweaked one thing or another, it was something completely different. It was like watching a mad scientist at play.
So add that mad science to the kitchen and I guess that's where this free Crohn's disease cookbook comes in handy. Sure, it might be for those who have Crohn's, but I'm sure those without might enjoy the tweaks in their own recipes.
Or just to laugh evilly over a pot of alphabet soup…
Hiffers, mark your calendars because over 14,000 locations will be giving out free McDonalds smoothies from 7am-7pm on July 22-24. What does this mean for me? Well, for starters, I'll have to actually put on pants in the morning. I still don't understand society's hatred of guys wearing only boxers and fuzzy bunny slippers.
Also, if you still have USA Weekend or Parade magazine from Sunday, look inside it for a free McDonald's 12oz. Smoothie or Frappe coupon.
Also also, if you decide you want to buy a full-sized smoothie later on, here's a $1/1 coupon from McDonald's site.
Free tea samples have been around forever. They're inexpensive, lightweight to ship, and taste delicious!
Below you'll find some of the older jokes for all the various tea samples we've found over the years!
I really enjoyed the previous free Yogi tea sample that I received. However, I'm not sure if it was because the tea tasted great or because it gave me the perfect excuse to walk around talking like Yogi Bear and repeatedly saying “pic-a-nic basket.”
It's all fun and games until you start to think you're smarter than the average bear. Long story short, we may be smarter, but geez can they run fast. They can even snarl at you while running! And the claws! You don't have to be too smart to know how to use those things.
For all your tea drinkers out there, here is a freebie you might enjoy. Now this isn't Yogi tea as in Yogi The Bear, because that would just be sick and twisted if somebody had actually gone out, captured him, and then turned him into tea. But no, thankfully this is just a brand of tea that lets you pick from four different packages of flavored tea.
I never did get around to learning the Chinese language, so I can only hope that this free Zhong Guo Cha Chinese tea doesn't translate to “free horrendously bad tasting Chinese tea.” Sure, the odds are slim, but you never know. My buddy once got a tattoo of a symbol he thought meant “courage” only later to discover it meant *We're sorry, but we here at the FCC have censored this content and will soon be fining the author $250,000. Sorry for the inconvenience.*
I know, right? His own mom disowned him after hearing about that!
In order to get your free Celestial Tea, you have to become a fan on Facebook and take a short quiz beforehand. But it's totally worth it for some space tea.
I qualified for Mandarin Duck, which I sincerely hope is not a reflection of its contents.
I'm not quite sure what happened just now. I started with saying free Wild Minis tea repeatedly while trying to think of a joke. I somehow ended up daydreaming about an evil wild manatee wrecking havoc off the eastern seaboard.
I've taken an odd liking to tea recently, which is even stranger when you consider how loyal I once was to coffee. But there's something calming about watching the water boil before steeping a strong cup of tea in the morning. I guess that explains why I'm so excited over this free Teekanne tea.
I personally went with Triple Mint Tranquility, but only because its acronym is one letter off from TMNT. I should probably stop making decisions based on my memory of childhood cartoons. Otherwise, it's only a matter of time before I have a son and name him Egon.
There's nothing better than starting the day off with a steaming mug of free Suffuse tea. Well, I guess waking up to find a million dollars scattered across your floor would be better. But then you'd probably freak out wanting to know where it came from.
Unfortunately I've got three words for you: Sleepwalking crime spree. I know, I thought I knew you well too, but turns out your a crazed bank robber every night!
This free FIX energy tea seems right up my alley. My lesser known nickname is Mr. Vila as I can't help myself. I see something broken and there's no stopping me from making it right. Why just last weekend my kitchen table was giving me trouble so I borrowed a chainsaw and yada yada I now eat my meals on the floor. I guess tables are just a little too fancy for me right now.
I tend to work late into the night. If for some odd reason I'm not drinking bourbon, I tend to drink coffee. But I recently discovered this amazing new beverage. It's called “tea” (pronounced like the letter T) and it's great! It's hot, it's tasty, and it doesn't make you stay up until dawn. Go grab some of this free Lipton Black Tea and check it out! Just don't be fooled by the picture above. You can drink it from the comfort of your home, you don't have to lean out the window like a weirdo.
Today is National Iced Tea Day, which is something that shouldn't exist, but whatever. To celebrate, there was a free bottle of Lipton Iced Tea offer on Facebook, but the signup form keeps crashing. So what now? Well, luckily you're a Hiffer and can go straight to the coupon printing page!
I love occasionally subverting freebies – it's the only time I get to feel like a rebel. I even have a leather jacket and motorcycle for the occasion. Though getting the bike into my living room is a real pain.
The free Lipton tea & honey drink mix Facebook offer comes in one packet. That saves us the burdensome step of mixing honey into our tea, but it also robs us of the wonderful pleasure of squirting honey directly into our mouths. There's always a catch…
I have a solid morning routine that I'm apprehensive to tweak, even if that means forgoing my three free Tea Monger teabags. You don't just tamper willy nilly with such a tried and true formula as mine. Wake up, snooze, wake up again, snooze again, finally roll out of bed once 80 year old neighbors begin yelling at the early morning commercials, shower, laugh at the thought of shaving, stick head out window to check weather, remember I work from home, flip a coin to decide whether or not to get dressed, brew the first of 10 cups of coffee, start working, and finally have friend call at noon to make sure I didn't go back to bed.
See! Pretty darn close to perfection if you ask me.
I normally don't post these types of offers (more on that below), but this free Lipton Tropical iced tea wants us to “sample a trending beverage.”
Oh la la, Mr. Fancy Pants over here with his trending beverage. I bet he gets all the ladies with such a hot and fashionable drink. I remember dreaming as a wee little Goob that one day I might be cool enough to get my beverage trending on Twitter. And here we are. My, what an age we live in.
Last month's free Lipton tea & honet drink mix offer is back. Prepare to be refreshed in 6-8 weeks, assuming you enjoy tea, honey, mango, and pineapple flavors mashed together!
Actually, that drink above looks horrible. Who wants giant leaves in their drink? And call me crazy, but I think those chunks of pineapple shell might scratch going down.
Here's a free Lipton Tea & Honey To Go offer that's Mango Pineapple flavored. So why do they call the brand Tea & Honey? Who knows, you should ask them. While you're at it, inquire as to why nobody in their industry can properly pour a beverage. Look at that image above. That tea is going everywhere. They're making a freaking mess.
Hey, look, it's the free Lipton Tea & Honey To Go offer again. Honey seems like a weird thing to want on the go. Every time I eat honey, I get it all over my hands and have to spend 10 minutes washing it off.
My Internet has been down all day, so I'm tethering to my phone right now. Some would complain about sluggish speed, but I for one enjoy the occasional throwback, like today's two free Lipton tea k-cups from Walmart. It's fun pretending I'm on AOL again! Now where are all the chat rooms?
Today's free Lipton natural energy tea offer just hit the market. As luck would have, I'm drinking some energy tea right now! However we call it “coffee” where I'm from down south.
The classic free Twinings tea offer has returned, so you know what that means! At least I hope you do. I can't figure it out.
These free True Lemon drink mix samples used to be a staple in the freebie world when HIF launched in 2005. The freebie spigot shut off around 2010, however I've recently discovered they're back for certain groups. If you're a member of any of the following organizations, you can request a sample here.
Every day I drink enough water to fill a small pool, but it can get a bit bland. Enter True Lemon. It's a much better alternative to my past method of spicing things up, which was to actually put Tabasco sauce in my water. Let's just say: lesson learned.
Similar to tea samples, free coffee samples have been a popular freebie given away since I started Hey, It's Free. Thankfully, as of 2020, they're still frequently offered, even by big companies! Dunkin gave away samples of their coffee just a few months ago and Folgers seems to release an offer at least once a year.
While we wait for the next giveaway, here are some of our free coffee japes from the archives.
This free coffee booster offer has been around for a few days. Gotta say, if your coffee leaves you feeling like it needs a boost, either you need some new coffee or you're probably drinking tea.
When I first saw this free Berres Brothers coffee, I confused it with De Beers. Let's just say I wasn't too excited about drinking diamonds.
I had some trouble signing up for free Cafe Bustelo coffee on Facebook, but I think it's worth the hassle. Look at how happy those people are! They're either so in love with this coffee that the mere thought of it makes them want to dance or they're on drugs. I'm pretty sure those are the only two explanations. Either way, I'm in!
I have a brother named Thomas so I gave him a call after seeing the free Thomas coffee offer. I asked him questions like how much and what flavor of coffee we'd be getting. He wasn't too helpful though and in fact only screamed obscenities at me for waking him up at four in the morning. Oh, well excuse me for not memorizing your darn sleeping patterns!
I've never heard of this free Marley One Love organic coffee before. They use “100% Ethiopian Yirgacheffe coffee beans,” so that really clears things up for us.
Walmart is giving away free Maxwell House k-cup coffee. Thankfully you don't have to be named Maxwell or live in a house in order to get this!
If you skipped the old offer for free Green Mountain coffee last time because you don't have a Keurig machine, then you'll be happy to know I was wrong. I previously “reported”” that it was in k-cup form only, but you can request ground coffee instead.
Thanks to all the Hiffers who pointed this out! Now could one of you could tell me where the heck I left my jacket? It's cold now and it's getting kind of ridiculous walking around the streets with a Ninja Turtles comforter wrapped around me.
Kroger and their related stores are offering free Skinny Cow Creamy Iced Coffee to those of us who somehow believe eating Skinny Cow products will make us skinny.
*slowly raises hand*
In order to get free PurPod coffee k-cups, we're supposed to wait for an email. But why wait when I've got the link right here for you?
It's like when you go to the dentist. Sure, you could sit in the lobby waiting for your name to be called, but what is this, the 1950s? Everybody knows the fastest way to get in and out is to simply walk on back and start cleaning your own teeth in the first open room you find.
Plus I've yet to find a cavity. Woohoo, perfect record!
If you've ever texted an emoji to a friend or loved one and thought to yourself “gee, I sure would love to drink some coffee based on this funny face,” then I've got some great news for you! There's a new brand of java on the market and they're giving away free Emoji K-Cup coffee samples for a limited time.
Sign up and go from 😴 to 😲 in 4 to 6 weeks.
Look for the image above in order to get some free Peet's Major Dickason's coffee. The true story behind this sample's name is a bit tame, so I like to picture a battalion of soldiers trying to subdue their enemy with coffee grenades and deadly creamer.
Target's site is bogged down at the moment. Or heck, maybe it's just not working in Chrome. Either way, there's something between me and my free Peet's coffee k-cups and I WON'T STAND FOR THIS!
Too bad QuikTrip convenience stores are only located in the Midwest, away from where I live, because they have a free food coupon available at Coupons.com. The coupon is for a free deli sandwich, wrap, or salad – no purchase necessary! The coupon won't show up unless you have a QuikTrip in your zip code, but some zips I tried made the coupon show up, such as: 85031, 63010, 66109, 30106, and 30339.
Some coupons expires on 10/21 and others on 10/25, but either way you'll need to make a quick trip to use it! Haha, get it? Hello? Is this thing on?
Not to be outdone by Chick-fil-A, Oprah is giving away a coupon good for two free pieces of KFC chicken, two individual sides, and a biscuit! Plus, the terms say you're limited to four prints of the coupon. Talk about an amazing offer – toss in a water and you've got yourself four free meals.
You have until 9:59pm CDT 5/6/09 to print the coupon. You can then redeem it at any participating KFC location from 5/5/09 to 5/19/09, excluding Mother's Day.
Now come on, who was planning on taking their mom to KFC for her Mother's Day meal?
Update: As many people have commented, KFC is no longer accepting these coupons. They are instead issuing rain-checks.