We posted this free Menopause Survival Kit back in December, but I'm not sure if it came or not for those who signed up. Suffice to say, this was one of those freebies where I signed up a friend or relative instead of myself. Something tells me I'm not going to be going through Menopause anytime soon.
Get tons of free health and fitness samples from dozens of brand name products.
Thisis a good idea, both for reminding women to frequently check themselves for breast cancer and for also showing them how to properly do so. I just wish there was something similar for people like me who frequently forget how to shower in the first place. I jump in, freak out because of the cold water, and then end up squirting shampoo in my eyes.
This is easily a daily occurrence for me!
Free General Snus Swedish Smokeless Tobacco – Same great cancer causing product without all the pesky smoke! I'm just bitter, because half of my family smokes. If your state laws don't prohibit it, they'll send you three trials of Dry Mini Mint, Wintergreen Portion, White Portion and Original Portion – so…hope you like portions.
It feels odd putting this in Health / Fitness, but what other category better suits it?
We normally only post freebies that have a signup form, but I'm making an exception for this free Biofreeze offer.
Thanks to my aforementioned migraines, I happened to try Biofreeze for the first time this past weekend and it's amazing. Imagine Icy Hot on steroids. I put so much on my shoulders that I swore it was going to fry the skin off and while I know that doesn't sound too appealing, anybody with muscle or back pain knows how much of a “good hurt” that burning sensation can be.
And that's coming from a guy who cries whenever he gets a hangnail!
Some people collect stamps, others hoard coins, and then there are weirdos like me who love travel kits. Seriously, I love anything travel-related. Miniature chess board so tiny that all the pieces look the same? Check. Toiletries bag so small that everything inside of it is used up after one day? Oh, you betcha. And now I can add thisto my collection. Why? Well, imagine how awesome I'd look if I was on a flight and a diabetic without meds started having complications. A doctor would step forward and ask if anybody had some insulin and *TA-DA*, up stands Goob to save the day before all the adulatory ladies rush to him.
Now I just have to figure out how I'm going to procure some insulin to place in my new travel kit.
I was lucky as a kid that I never had to have my tonsils out. I wanted to miss those weeks of school and just be able to have yogurt and ice cream and milkshakes. Sure, I had tubes put in my ears, but that's different, and no matter what they say, the shots feel nothing like mosquito bites.
Though kids are lucky if they're under 18 and just had or are going to have a tonsillectomy. See, Dreyer's has a free mail in coupon for a tonsillectomy kit. Yes, its a mail-in form, but its because they need the doctor's signature on it, just to make sure you're legit. But the coupon for the free box of fruit bars, coloring book, crayons, and keychain/wristband in the pack make it well worth it to the sick little one. I mean, its mail for them, and they're sick, what could be better?
Their tonsils back so they could do it again next year, maybe?
EDIT: Dead now
One of the drawbacks from watching all 5 seasons of The Wire over the course of a month is that it makes you want to smoke a cigar. I'm not sure what the cigar ratio was in scenes where Bunk was walking around, but I'm pretty sure it was 1:1. Thankfully, I can get my fix through thisoffer and get this out of my system.
Oh, and I put this in “Health / Fitness” since it didn't fit anywhere else and I was too lazy to create a “Bodily Harm” category.
Everybody raise their hands if they hate those stupid 5 Hour Energy commercials? For the record, I'm now typing the rest of this post with my nose because both of my hands are as close to the ceiling as possible. This is actually taking forever to type, I'm getting a little tired. I could go for some free 5 Hour Energy as a matter of fact. Mmmm, irony tastes delicious!
I'll be peeved if this freebies doesn't arrive at our doorstep in the next five hours too. That's how it works, right? Because I'm really dragging today. I even tried eating raw coffee grinds in order to get the caffeine in my system faster, but my body seems to have rejected it.
I felt silly signing up for thissince I don't have too many tampons I need to carry around with me. But you are also entered into a drawing to win a new Toyota Prius as well, which is what got me hooked. I'm currently driving a truck that I'm fairly certain accounts for 14.3% of all carbon emissions made by mankind every year. It's also a certifiable death trap once it tops 45 mph. If you ever see a story on CNN about a wreck caused by a truck vibrating itself to pieces, that's me!
[thanks to Heidi for sending this in!]
I think we've been over the fact that a decent-sized chunk of my family are, unfortunately, vegetarians. I'm still not entirely sure how they got to that point, because I know it doesn't run in the family blood or anything. I'm pretty sure I could eat a raw horse if I thought it'd taste delicious. So that said, I doubt I'll be signing up for thisany time soon. I <3 my hamburgers just way too much.
[via the forums]
EDIT: This is now a contest to get a free sample.
For as long as I can remember, I've always suffered from massive chapped lips every winter. But as a kid, I didn't really know what was wrong and thus I always licked my chops to try and sooth them. My mom finally spotted me doing so one day and after a quick inspection, pulled into the nearest pharmacy parking lot and told me to run in and buy something called Carmex. And….
Little Goob: Hi, do you have any Carmex for sale?
Old Lady Behind The Counter: No, sorry son.
Goob: Are you sure? My mom said I could get some Carmex in here.
OLBTC: Trust me, we don't sell that here. Besides, those things are good for nothing anyway.
Goob: But my lips are really chapped and they hurt! Don't you have anything I can buy?
OLBTC: How the heck are comics going to help cure your chapped lips?
Luckily for me, I don't have to go into a pharmacy anymore and spend ten minutes trying to tell people I want Carmex and not comics. Why? Because I can just sign up for thisand have it sent straight to me in the mail!
[via the forums and Julie]
Advil PM was another freebie that used to appear now and again. These days, the best you can do is their coupons and offers page.
Today's free Advil PM is made from only the highest rated Prime Ministers Great Britain has to offer. I'm assuming. I might want to go read through the fine print.
Thanks goes to Patty for pointing out that Walmart is giving away yet another quality freebie, this time being free Advil PM. I'm not sure this is a good thing, because like Mitch Hedberg once said, Advil isn't good to have around when you have a sweet tooth. They should take a page from Tylenol's playbook and just give us pills with no candy coating!
Ever since returning from Australia, my sleeping pattern has been all out of wack. And it's not even because of jet lag! I'm passing out at like 6 in the evening, which is around 10 in the morning over there, so I can't say my body clock is still on Australian time. And then, come 3 or 4 in the morning, I'm wide away. I figure I'll just wait until this free Advil PM comes in the mail, down it and half a carton of eggnog, and sleep for two days straight. That's gotta be healthy, no?
Be warned though, some stupid video automatically starts playing when you visit the page above. It scared the living bejesus out of me, so make sure you don't have your speakers at full blast when you click the link!