I almost missed it. I came this close to hitting Publish before casually glancing once last time at thepage. That's when it jumped out at me. I have no Earthly idea what I'll find on the other side let alone why it exists, but it's an absolute certainty that I'll call the toll-free “NEED LIVE HELP?!” number on their site. I need live help explaining why they provide live help!
At least the freebie isn't flamboyant.