EDIT #3: And it's dead for the second time today.
Walmart caps off the freebie trifecta with free Dove Ultimate Beauty deodorant. I've spent three hours thinking about body products this morning. I don't think I've spent three hours total before today. I'm the type of guy who shops for hygiene products as if zombies were chasing me. Run in, grab the first bottle I see, and lob a few at anyone else standing in the aisle with me.
You know, just in case they're actually a zombie. I haven't been right yet, but I have been banned from over a dozen local stores!