EDIT: This is no longer available.
I don't know if my feet need any free Kerasal Exfoliating Foot Ointment, but the hard part will be deciding which foot gets the treatment. My left foot tripped over a branch the other day and made me faceplant in front of my cute neighbor but my right foot has this annoying cramp in it today. If neither of them shape up, I'll pull this car over right now and they won't like what happens next!
Or something like that. I've never quite nailed down the art of threat making.